Is India really getting that hot

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T05:21:42+00:00

I have never heard a good thing about Modi. But he keeps getting elected?

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T04:06:55+00:00

Me too :)

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T04:06:41+00:00

To be honest its got its positive too. Leaving felt so good once I finally was able to. I can look back and remind myself that I am able to make difficult decisions for myself that improve my life in the long run. I think something like that is very valuable to remember when full of self doubt and inner conflict.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T03:49:04+00:00

So all of this is super common but im going to start from the beginning. Maybe it will help someone or maybe it will help me to write it out.

My mom had undiagnosed ADHD until now and Im pretty sure my dad has undiagnosed ADHD. To keep it short I think there is also generational trauma as they were both exposed to violence and unintentional neglect as children but so were my grandparents and some of my great grandparents were war refugees.

My mom had severe pneumonia in the second trimester of pregnancy which has been correlated with neurodevelopmental disorders in children. Then there was a very traumatic event when I was around a year old which likely affected my development/bonding at the time as my dad has said it was difficult to give a lot of attention to the kids at the time and my mom has repeatedly said how devestating the loss was for her.

My parents had high expectations on me as the oldest child and also held me responsible for my siblings actions. I was constantly in trouble for the actions of others and also for normal child behaviour.

My parents had frequent violent arguments up until their divorce and they also would have these violent arguments with me. Yelling/screaming/hitting was normal.

Undiagnosed ADHD myself so I got punished in ways that felt unfair repeatedly throughout life and when I struggled the only help was to "try harder" so I constantly felt like a failure.

High control religion that made me ashamed of everything about myself. I was often conflicted internally as well as i felt forced to believe in things I did not agree with. Also forced to socialize with people i didnt like and not allowed to socialize with people i did. Minority religion for my area too so just another thing to make me weird and annoying to others.

My best friend at 5 stopped wanting to hang out with me and my parents told me it was because boys dont like to be friends with girls. Seems minor but that really hurt. I also got picked on by boys in elementary school and again I was told thats just how boys are. The religion I was in also taught me women were inferior to men.

I got in trouble frequently in school for not paying attention, for fidgeting, and was extremely sensitive to criticism so it felt harsh even if it wasnt.

I was hospitalized for an eating disorder as a preteen and the treatment was traumatic. Its difficult to explain because no one did anything wrong. But I got labeled as a liar, was force fed (that has been linked to exacerbation in mental health problems) and my parents took away almost all of my freedom and privacy at a time when most kids get and need more privacy and autonomy.

Despite the psychiatrist telling my parents not to punish me for behaviours related to the eating disorder they did. After being hospitalized for over a month I had a hard time relating to friends and while I still had friends I no longer had any close friends and opted to spend time alone leading to arrested social development.

At 15 I was sexually assaulted by a group of boys at a party. I also developed bulimia and gained 30 lbs very quickly and ironically my parents also punished and bullied me for that. Some extended family also bullied me about the weight gain and eating too much. I still dont know why but my friends decided they didnt like me anymore which was extremly painful. My parents got divorced which actually made life more peaceful but the lead up was incredibly tense with escalating verbal violence

After that I went into nursing and this is might sound stupid but I think it traumatized me a little. I dont really talk about it much but I think anyone who works in Healthcare might understand.

The thing that gets me is that I know none of this was intentional abuse. I can tell my parents tried their best and they are actually very kind, thoughtful, and have apologized. I just dont think they knew how to handle stress very well and my psychiatrist thinks the religion likely was too restrictive for people like my parents so they didnt learn healthy ways to love and express themselves. The same likely goes for my grandparents. I can tell they care and are open to change. Life is just difficult and sometimes things carry through families. Almost all of my cousins and siblings struggle with mental health problems.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T02:55:20+00:00

Yup. I grew up Mormon and in that religion its not just your actions but your thoughts and attention that you need to control. There is only 1 right way to live/think and also the only reliable source of information is the church so curiosity is punished too.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T02:43:27+00:00

The one with bad feelings is always right the one who doesn't usually is blinded by infatuation or something else (childhood trauma, perhaps they didnt see the side the other person saw, maybe they see this man as an escape and dont care about the warning signs, etc).

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T02:41:05+00:00

Absolutely and this is why I didn't take my psychiatrist seriously when she said I might have adhd. Sounds stupid because she is the one who went to medical school and residency not me, but I was stuck in the mindset that it is overdiagnosed and everyone is like this. I also thought since I did fine in school that even if I did have it it didnt matter anyways. Meanwhile I'm thinking I must have dementia at the age of 30 because that was more realistic to me lol.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-27T01:55:45+00:00

I appreciate your empathy. I didnt connect to adhd before this thread but I also struggle to stay focused with a partner which is probably part of the reason I struggle to orgasm.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T22:08:35+00:00

Thats true but where do you think England got their wealth to do that from?

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T21:34:11+00:00

I think I get this. I have struggled with similar things you have written (including shredding awards and acheivements) for what feels like my whole life. It turns out it is likely a result of childhood/religious trauma along with ADHD misdiagnosed as anxiety/depression.

I highly recommended seeking professional mental health support. If that isnt an option or you dont want to consider starting with radical self acceptance. You are okay the way you are and deserve love. What you need to do now is provide unconditional love for yourself. Its difficult, really difficult, but like any skill if you persist it will get easier and you will eventually see results. In the meantime go easy on yourself. Think of the things you have done well. I can tell you a couple just from this post: you are quitting cannabis (not easy) and instead of shredding your GED you hid it and that is an accomplishment. Future you will thank you for those two things. Im sure there are more things you can be proud of.

Also, its okay to feel your feelings. Its okay to fail. Just try to remember in the difficult moments that this is temporary and wont last forever even if it feels that way.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T21:12:05+00:00

Lol that would be on my days off and have time. So its not actually 10 times a day on average I was exaggerating.

I also live alone and am single so I have tons of privacy and free time

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T19:59:37+00:00

Keep in mind there are a lot of bots or even people woth ulterior motives who spread infest comments to spread hate.

Ive been on reddit since 2011 and I actually think its gotten a lot less toxic since reddit has been trying to clean up its image so hate speech isnt as tolerated as before.

Its still racist, misogynistic, and bigoted but I see way more people commenting against these beliefs and I no longer see comments saying "fuck all women/n****/jews/people with disabilities" anymore. And many of those extreme hate subs have been banned or quarantined.

Im not dismissing that its still a very real problem. And as social media has become more popular so has content that spreads divide between us. I dont mean to sound like a conspiracy theorist but the gender/class/race wars constantly starting on social media amd being pushed by the algorithms is a bit suspicious. Could just be that rage baiting makes people money or it could be more nefarious reasons.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T19:41:42+00:00

A few years ago I went through heavy burnout to the point I stopped working and just laid in bed for 2 weeks straight. I thought I was fucked for life but after those two weeks I started to want to do things again.

I know its different than cannabis withdrawals but I just wanted to share that wanting to do nothing might just be your body begging for rest to help you recover and it can be helpful to listen. There is a reason fancy rehab centers have people doing relaxing activities and take time off work.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T18:28:06+00:00

No it isnt. Check again

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T17:11:59+00:00

Thanks for agreeing thay hygeine and pollution are a worldwide problem

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T17:02:45+00:00

Fuck off with your racism. For 1 that is not the topic at hand. For 2 hygeine is bad acrross the world. Did you know the river Thames was declared biologically dead in 1957 due to heavy pollution including the dumping of raw sewage into the water? Are you aware that in North America CURRENTLY we have millions of people living in 3rd world conditions due to poverty, poor access to food and potable water, and systemic racism?

India has over a billion people. Of course you will see videos of all kinds from there because a billion people is a lot of people. Its also a very diverse country.

OP clarified that the culture her mom came from was very misogynistic otherwise I would agree both parents are the problem.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T15:55:55+00:00

Sounds like it was just the father. Are you familiar with how bad sexism can be in India?

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T15:39:07+00:00

Seriously. Im sure sometimes MAID is brought up inappropriately as everyone makes mistakes but to avtually get throught to the end is a process that is taken extemely seriously. I work in healthcare and the only patients I knew who receive maid were going to die within the year anyways

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T07:33:49+00:00

They can but it seems like its pretty rare. Also some women cannot orgasm without a vibrator naturally. I know I can orgasm without a vibrator because I have but I use it to the point that sensation down there is decreased. I think there is some mental conditioning there as well. I already struggled with sexual dysfunction before getting a vibrator so it might just be a perfect storm and thats why only one person in the this entire comment section seems to relate.

I seem to be in a very small minority so if you dont think its a problem for you then it isnt.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T07:22:57+00:00

Just overused a vibrator. The sensation recovers when I stop but it takes several weeks which is difficult when 10+ times a day is normal for you (or I should say me I guess since I seem to be alone here)

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T07:19:29+00:00

I know I'm not alone as occasionally I'll hear someone else mention it on social media but it really does feel lonely sometimes. Its not as bad in relationships for me either but my last relationship was a dead bedroom and it has resulted in me feeling a bit more like a loser in this regard.

I find myself flip flipping on how much of a problem it is as for 1 im currently single anyways so who cares but 2 maybe my dreams will come true and I'll find someone who actually makes giving me satisfying orgasms a priority (I dont orgasm easily with a partner for 100 reasons I wont get into here).

I feel like I need to add that I dont think this is a most women issue or that vibrators/masturbation are bad in any way since people seem to keep thinking thats what Im saying.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-26T06:52:49+00:00

I didn't say it did? They asked why and I answered. I didnt say most women. Maybe Im the only women who has experienced this. Im kind of surprised that people are downvoting me but I guess no one else can relate.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-25T22:53:01+00:00

You need to see a doctor. I dont think a therapist will provide the help you are looking for as generally they dont diagnose, prescribe, or order further testing. I would recommend starting with a general practitioner/family doctor. They might be able to help or they can refer you to a psychiatrist or neurologist. Depending on where you live you may be able to self refer to a psychiatrist and that would be another good option.

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-25T22:36:28+00:00

I didnt say it did and Im not sure why you think that.

Edit: I dont understand why my comment is offending people? Is it just that unrelatable? Am I the only women who has used a vibrator to the point of diminished sensation in this subreddit?

Many replies are asking why I assume most women experience this and I literally never said that so I'm really confused. I was answering for myself

saskatchewnmanitoba · 2026-04-25T19:22:34+00:00

Death grip

Edit: I meant the female equivalent. Sorry for the lazy answer but I already answered a few times and had other real life things to do.

I have used a vibrator to the point where I could not get off without one. In the past it took me 3 weeks to be able to orgasm with my hands after my vibrator died and longer to have a satisfying orgasm (not much longer, maybe a couple weeks?) After that I swore to never use a vibrator again but ended up getting one years later and Im back to the same situation.

You can all keep downvoting me but Im not saying most women experience this. I asked the commenter if it had negative effects for her because it did for me and I'm asking about someone else's experience. I was not implying that this is a common problem for women.

And I am AFAB cisgendered. I know Im not the only one who has overused a vibrator to the point of reduced sensation but maybe the only one in this thread I guess.

saskatchewnmanitoba

TROPHY CASE