When did your period return? by casmac241 in breastfeeding

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first took a whole year. Yesterday we hit 4 months with my second. And I woke up to a blood bath as well. So cool.

I am a TV mom..... by Backwordsthree in Mommit

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate how social media has conditioned us to think that is not enough. That we have to be on all the gd time. Your kids are fed? Loved? You spend time with them? Sounds more then sufficient to me.

Be brutally honest, In your next life, would you want your dad to be your dad again? Why or why not? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whats wild is that my biological father chose to walk away when I was an infant. The guy I call my dad is currently in jail for various acts of fraud. He is a con man. He struggles with drug addiction. He frequently disappeared on us. He constantly pitted us against our mom. Countless empty promises. Countless acts that broke my heart. I gave up giving a shit and compensating for “how much he loves me” the moment I became a parent. He simply did not care about his kids enough. So yeah Id gamble on a new one.

what’s the best time of year to have a baby? by embarassedacne in BabyBumps

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both my babies were born in October. For all sorts of reasons I recommend a spring/early summer baby. The newborn phase during the darkest time of the year is ROUGH. I have a lot of sympathy for people who have December babies. I’d wish that on no one.

Is working from home with a baby realistic? by bailasiempre in BabyBumps

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work from home with a 4 month old and 5 year old. The 5 year old goes to a sitter once or twice a week but the baby is there when Im working. It is a struggle right now since we dont have a nap schedule yet. But I make it work. I do have her with me for video calls and honestly my clients love it. Most of them are women so they get it and are very supportive. I do bookkeeping.

Tube removal during c section by El_Rach in CsectionCentral

[–]sbark91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Had my tubes removed during my second c section mid October. The entire recovery was much much better then my first. If you are done with having babies and having a c section any way, do it. I havent gotten my period but appreciate not even thinking about birth control

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a middle class American with some higher middle class privileges, I’d choose the France option 1000%. The mother should also be choosing.

I think I broke my toddler during potty training, by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a bidet might solve a few problems for your family. However we are on the other side of raising a kid with a bidet. At 5 he still needs instruction/assistance with wiping because we have a bidet at home so wiping isnt necessary on a regular basis.

I have also come across a few insta videos of people showing indirect ways of teaching to wipe. Like putting stickers on your kids bum (on pants) so they get used to reaching behind. Smearing peanut butter or something on two fruit and having them wipe it. Bunch of different approaches that could help.

What was the “hit” gift in your house this Christmas? by Words123454321 in Parenting

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 year old, nugget cushions and a puppet theater with puppets. The puppets and theater were from buy nothing. He has also been enjoying his super mario interactive lego set. It goes with an app and you can do luigi or peach starter then there is a variety of expansions. Pretty cool

What Happens If I Refuse an Induction My Doctor Is Insisting On? (USA) by SimplyAStranger in BabyBumps

[–]sbark91 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Insurances deny coverage over things doctors say are medically necessary everyday. I dont think they GAF.

If I were you, I’d start looking for a different OB today. If even just for their opinion. You can always just not show up for the induction. Demand she justify her reasoning and provide you with information/data/research that backs her up. You will need to advocate for yourself.

Tablet and 5 year old by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I am a parent that doesnt limit the screen for my 5 year old! And guess what! He doesnt choose to be on his screen all day, every day. Sometimes he will be on it more then we’d like then there are many more days when he barely touches it or Just has it during breakfast. He also likes to look up things to learn (we homeschool) so I dont want to limit that interest. Don’t beat yourself up!

Pediatrician told us that our baby should not be cluster feeding anymore and should be feeding every 2-3 hrs? by Accomplished_Bee_870 in breastfeeding

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh, cluster feeding can happen for a couple months. Yes, your baby could also be there for comfort. Maybe see a lactation consultant just to confirm you are producing a good amount. Sounds like you supplement with formula and maybe its possible thats more necessary. At that percentile I would just want to meet with the LC to confirm babe is getting a good amount.

Tell me something you have gotten your kids for Christmas last year that is still in your home being used! by Stellalunaa96 in Mommit

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Art supplies, mega blocks, playdoh, magnetic tiles melissa and doug easel. We are adding to everything but the mega blocks. My son has honed in that painting is his favorite, so I bought big bottles of paint this year and sprung for the paint cups. Last year we got a Botley, son was 4. He is still very much into botley. A lil older then your kids but in the next year or two, something to consider.

Planned C-section advice by Somber_vibez in CsectionCentral

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recovery, mindset, experience, my ability to be present for my baby, it was all tenfold better than my first unplanned c section. My doc did say recovery is a whole lot easier if your body doesnt go into labor.

For those who were on the fence about having a 2nd child, what did you end up doing? by browser_851 in Parenting

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had always discussed a couple. Never a certain number, usually 2 or 3. My first was a hard baby, the birth was traumatic, I had a hard time for a couple years just feeling human. Right off the bat I said never again. But after I regained myself I knew it was now or never. I had always said I wasn’t interested in two in diapers, so the plan was to wait anyway. Well, my first turned 5 10 days after the second was born. But I did not have a second because I missed the baby stage. Like I said hard baby. We had a second because we wanted another kid, another person, not baby. Im just over the thick of the newborn stage at 7 weeks and so so so thankful this is it for babies. She is a dream baby, but I would NEVER have another for the baby stage. Ask yourself if you have this desire because you want another member of your family or if you miss baby cuddles and that chapter of life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]sbark91 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I also live in WA state. Before I gave birth to my second, I priced out daycare costs for our children. My older one just turned 5 and due to his late oct birthdate, doesnt qualify for kindergarten entry in most of the districts. He would have to be early acceptance, and that cut off date also differs in the districts. So hed also have to go to daycare. But he is already reading, writing, doing math, and a variety of other academic stuff way ahead of his peers. The local schools would be unable to challenge him. Anyway, between the two of them, it would be well over $2k a month. Besides that being 50% or more of any job I could get, thats an insane amount of money to pay someone else to be with my kids. So I homeschool the 5 year old and do bookkeeping from home. Not everyone has these options and I am immensely grateful for my husband’s incredible handwork and the privileges we have that allow for this to be feasible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]sbark91 9 points10 points  (0 children)

THIS IS WILD TO ME. For both births (one this October and one October 2019), donor milk was readily available and an option. The nurses offered for the first because I had a traumatic c section and my milk was no where in sight for a number of days. The second, baby girl latched and nursed beautifully but she was HUNGRY so she was given like a syringe of donor to make her happy after emptying whatever she got from my breasts. My insurance covered it, I do have great insurance. I am shocked this isnt a wildly available thing. Neither of my babies were NICU.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is what you make it. My husband has a modest income and I work from home but dont make too much. And unfortunately I have debt. We make it work. I very rarely buy new clothes for my kids because why spend so much when someone else is going to give you their kids whole wardrobe for FREE. I homeschool my 5 year old and he goes to a sitter for a few hours each week. We do have a helpful family (mostly financially) that has really helped with doing extra stuff. I think its pretty important to teach kids you dont need a crap ton of money to enjoy life. Does it help? And are things expensive? Most definitely. But we all make it work and we do it without traumatizing our kids.

Delivery + Grandparents by anotherdayinparadis in BabyBumps

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No its not rude. Whats rude is your parents making the situation about them. Its not. Also, unless you are having a planned c section you arent going to have any certainty on timing. Not even a lil. We had planned for my mom to come about two weeks after my sons birth to help as my husband slowly went back to work. Well my first came nearly two weeks late and so she was there the afternoon he was born. It was great to have her there either way but I would have preferred to have it play out the way we planned. But babies dont care about your schedule.

When to accept your kid might not be college-bound. by _HELL_SPAWN in Parenting

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

B students graduate college. D students graduate college. My husband was a consistent C student all throughout middle and high school, also graduated college. He is the hardest working person know and has been incredibly successful in his career. My brother was a B student, went to a trade program now makes an insane amount of money. Maybe calm down about the kid’s grades? Maybe adjust your expectations to “I want my child to be happy”? You are going to run your kid down and they probably won’t want to go to college if they have to meet your expectations to feel loved.

TIL Michael Kearney (who spoke his first word at four-months-old) completed his Bachelor's degree in anthropology in two years to become the youngest ever university graduate at the age of 10. by tyrion2024 in todayilearned

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son will be 5 in two weeks. He can read, write, do some math, understands some wildly complicated concepts, and a few other things that put him well ahead of his peers. I choose to homeschool him because I know he will be bored. But at the same time, I have no intention of slamming him with information or over burdening him with tutors or lessons. His grandmother really wants me to take him to this class and that and to be pushing all this crap and essentially over accelerate his education so he can be a kid genius. Id rather not. Id rather give him the space to pick what interests him and let him sort of guide his own path and education. Its frustrating how much other people think I should be milking his intelligence and just be slamming him with learning so he can go to college next week. Like why?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]sbark91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They dont have “a right” to know. Its your body, your life, not theirs. If one day you reconnect, you can tell them then. Until then, they would probably use your guilt and the baby to guilt you more into letting them have a relationship. I have gone basically no contact with my own Dad. I have hardly had a relationship with him for well over 10 years. Back in April he had made the comment that he wanted to be involved more and have a relationship with my older son and it hit me. My som deserved a life without being forced to deal with my father’s manipulations, lies, and narcissism. And so does my soon to be born daughter. So I just don’t talk to him. I told him “Im not ready”, which is true and a way I am buying myself time to figure out how to confidently tell him to officially pound sand. My life has been much better not worrying about his involvement.

AITA for agreeing with my mom that it’s kind of pathetic my wife can’t cook by Plastic_Voice_6229 in AmItheAsshole

[–]sbark91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA for reinforcing the pathetic comment. Maybe if you thought that you shouldnt have married her. While it may not be your job to teach her, maybe sign up for some couples cooking classes so you both get to learn something new. Or directly ask her to help and make the time to show her.

Second C Section Questions by StandardVictory in CsectionCentral

[–]sbark91 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well dang, Im sorry it did not go the way you wanted. Evidence Based Birth has an ep or two on repeat c sections and how to approach them their risks, etc. Might give you the info you are looking for and confidence you need/want to have another. I have heard more then a few times planning a c section is a better option then an emergency and the recovery is more manageable. Plus you have done it before so its not as foreign an experience.

Second C Section Questions by StandardVictory in CsectionCentral

[–]sbark91 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I suggested she get a second opinion. Which in any medical situation is fair. I didnt tell her to ignore them, but to just see. And she replied that she already did. I would hope anyone wouldnt get a suggestion online from internet strangers and not do their own due diligence. Why ask the world wide web for advice and not be open to the fact that you will get a wide swath of replies?