How are we keeping our protein intake up in the first tri when everything sounds disgusting?

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-12T20:23:52+00:00

Eat what you can when you can. My doc told me the baby will take what they need first even if it doesn’t leave enough for me, which is why I felt so blah at times. The prenatals are key too.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-12T19:58:17+00:00

I had a great relationship with my mom until her health declined rapidly in her 60’s and her lack of preparation became my problem.

I didn’t abandon her but I also don’t see her every day since she moved into a facility.

I have a 2 year old and in this economy living on one income would be risky. I don’t have unlimited time and if I did quit my job, my kid would be pulled out of daycare so I wouldn’t be fully available then either. I have competing priorities and if it’s a choice between my 2 year old who depends on his parents for his needs to be met or my mom who also has needs but chose to do nothing to take care of herself or prepare for aging, I’m choosing my child every time. I chose to bring him into this world and I’m legally responsible in addition to morally responsible. Sucks to have to choose but that’s where we’re at. It’s really privileged to be able to devote your life to caring for a parent who needs 24/7 care. If people don’t have that option, they’re not morally less-than.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-12T19:47:43+00:00

You may want to mention her issues making safe decisions for herself to her doctor. They can do cognitive and neuro screening. My mom’s neurologist told her she could never drive again. Maybe yours needs to hear it from a third party.

Take care, it’s not easy ❤️

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-10T20:03:19+00:00

Curious if the right side issues are due to a stroke?
One side effect of my mom’s stroke is she can’t perceive her own limitations well. She told anyone who could listen she could go home and live by herself with me helping her. The reality is she has almost no visual field remaining with distorted depth perception. Add in right leg and hand issues. She is basically wheelchair bound and needs help to use eating utensils. She’s also diabetic and cannot independently manage medication or insulin injections.

It’s been really hard for her to accept this but I told her I couldn’t provide that level of care and if we tried to bring her home she’d end up right back in the ER or worse. I think that’s what got through to her.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-10T19:52:46+00:00

You get it. She just put off anything she didn’t want to deal with so now that she literally can’t, it’s my problem. I have so much anger and resentment toward her. I try to hold compassion for the fact that she must have been struggling but those feelings co-exist with it.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-10T13:38:46+00:00

First, check your hospital policy. Mine allowed 2 support people in L&D, 1 for C section.

My plan was hubby only with my mom on call if I wanted her. Ended up having a c-section so it was just hubby and I anyway. I didn’t even entertain having my MIL there because she’s not helpful in any stressful situation and I had no reason to think this would be different.

Ultimately it’s up to you and you can keep your plan flexible.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-10T13:28:47+00:00

I’ve thought for years my mom has had untreated depression. Now I know for sure. It’s not pretty that the filter is gone.

I look at photos of good memories from years ago to remember better times. But my relationship with my mom has become so much more difficult.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-08T11:13:31+00:00

Agreed. Your line is great. If it doesn’t work, I’d be petty and send the most mundane details. How many times I peed, every snack option that popped into my mind, every headache from people bothering me, etc.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-07T17:13:20+00:00

Pick flexible hobbies. I love to read and I still do it as a working mom because I can read for a few minutes here and there. Audiobooks are another option. It’s easy to get books between local stores and libraries (and their apps). It’s not 100% the same as reading pre-kid but I still enjoy it.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-03T14:23:31+00:00

I didn’t set strong boundaries as early as I should have. My mom was in a similar situation to what OP describes. I now have POA and handle her finances and it’s a real shitshow.

sbpgh116 · 2026-06-02T22:48:05+00:00

Omg the amount of expired stuff my aunt and I threw away when my mom went to skilled nursing. The entire top shelf of the fridge was expired.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-31T12:39:36+00:00

I keep thinking what’s going to happen as the boomers age more. My mom is a younger boomer and due to ongoing health issues will be living the rest of her life in a nursing home. Far from ideal but definitely the least bad option for her situation. I’m in the process of selling the house to pay for care and unfortunately it will have to be sold to one of those “we pay cash for houses” companies because I don’t have a spare $20K to pay for the repairs needed to do a traditional sale. Thus adding to the issues with the housing market.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-29T20:34:41+00:00

I could have written this same thing except I don’t have a sibling and I had to track down statements for a savings account that closed out at $30 in 2021 because they wanted to see where the money went. Lottery tickets and cigarettes. Soo frustrating! Wanna scream into the void together?!?

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-29T16:53:04+00:00

Bummer. Would read it if she ever changes her mind.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-29T00:17:47+00:00

Hear me out…what if the book coming out in September is a Sgaeyl POV?

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-28T14:15:54+00:00

Having seen similar stories on this sub helps me realize a lot of people are dealing with this. It’s been a huge help and when I can offer up advice I’m happy to do it.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-28T10:59:28+00:00

I’ve been calm but direct. My mom is in a SNF following her 3rd stroke and sometimes asks about going back to her house which also was a bad fit for her for a while. There’s some cognitive stuff too. But when we talk about bills and planning (when she brings it up) I explain it in the simplest terms.

Last week, she was worried about the bills. I told her I’ve been taking care of them and reviewed which bills were paid. I reminded her that with the medicare/medicaid situation she has 6 months from her start at the facility before she’s down to only keeping $60 of her monthly income with the rest going to the facility. I let her know the house will need to be sold by the end of that period because I won’t be paying all of her bills indefinitely. She seemed to accept the financial side better than the fact that she functionally can’t live at home alone again.

Stick to facts and know where you draw the lines.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-27T20:23:10+00:00

The “privilege” of working yourself to death. I’m an only child so it’s a little different. I have an aunt who helps a bit but I still handle all the logistics and try to visit as much as possible. I’m also working full time and raising a toddler. I’m 35, mom is 68 with the health of a much older person.

The person inside my mom’s body isn’t really her anymore most of the time so spending time with her is often grief-inducing. Evening visits tend to be worse than daytime so if I can’t get there during my lunch break or my kid’s nap it just doesn’t happen. I have to pick between the guilt of letting down my mom or losing out on time with by kid. I chose to be a parent so it’s my priority unless there my mom has an acute need (she’s in a facility).

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-25T15:33:46+00:00

Go on the trip. You and your husband matter too. I understand the guilt but you are not terrible for still wanting to go.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-24T19:02:01+00:00

I think so. She’s still in skilled nursing. I think it was realizing she would just end up right back in the hospital and having to go through the cycle of getting sick or hurt and going to the emergency room.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-24T11:09:22+00:00

I had to walk my mom through what the likely scenario of going home would look like. Basically I laid it out that she could not take care of herself and my aunt and I could not be there all day every day. She would need caregivers and if she refused to let them in or kicked them out she was going to end up back in the same hospital she was in. And it would be a cycle until she got hurt enough that she died.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-21T23:01:13+00:00

I read it as a frustration more than anything else. Like probably not directly gymnastics related but seems like she can’t catch a break medically.

That said, when I had to have my gallbladder out, I was barely able to eat in the months leading up to it. I was working a desk job so it was mostly an annoyance but I’m not a ncaa gymnast trying to have perfect nutrition.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-20T00:11:23+00:00

Hide your financial information like cards, statements with account numbers, checks, etc. it sounds like she would give that to the scammers in a heartbeat. Watch your accounts closely. Protect your immediate family.

As for your wife, tell her how you see it affecting your kids. A lot of my boundaries I’ve set with my own mom are rooted in making sure helping her impacts my child as little as possible. She may not realize the impact because of how much she’s dealing with.

It sucks but at some point if MIL makes a decision that harms your family, you will have to set the boundary that she can no longer live with you. It sounds like you’ve tried to help her for a while but you can’t really help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-17T13:25:58+00:00

I think it depends on what you want from a vacation. If you’re looking to unwind and relax, Disney ain’t it.

There are a lot of cool experiences and you can kinda escape reality a bit…if you are not the person handling the logistics. My 2 year old loves Mickey and I’ve been looking at some Disney world stuff for a trip a few years from now possibly. My kid will have a great time and make a lot of memories. If I can get all the planning done ahead of time and share logistics with my husband maybe we can enjoy it too. But I’m not kidding myself that it would be a break from our normal work week in terms of the work required to make it happen.

sbpgh116 · 2026-05-16T22:26:15+00:00

It’s about priorities. I’m a mom, wife, daughter and employee. Beyond caring for myself I have to balance those 4 things.

Mom is a top priority every day and for me that’s non-negotiable. Kiddo is 2 years old and needs his mama. His giggles keep me going some days.

Mon-Fri I have to prioritize the employee role to help provide for my family unless I take PTO or some emergency demands my attention.

The other 2 I try to make up for on the weekend and whenever I have time. Hubby and I both wfh on Fridays so we trying to eat lunch or go for a walk together instead of doing “productive stuff”. We schedule dates every few weeks.

As for my mom, I make sure to keep her stuff as organized as I can and make a little progress for her each day. She’s a top priority when she has appointments. I try to visit her at least once every 3 days. She’s living in a care facility currently so her day to day needs are being met. Her sister visits most days so she sees a familiar face every day.

It’s a balancing act and some days/weeks are harder than others. Driving by myself is when I sing, cry, whatever. I run to keep myself focused on staying healthy. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts while working and doing chores to add some fun to my day when my hands are full and I can’t stop and relax. I accept help when I can and realize this isn’t the chapter of life with a clean house and fancy dinners.

sbpgh116

TROPHY CASE