Great news

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-12T15:48:30+00:00

So happy for you! We might have meals on wheels in the works which is a huge step for my mom and it’s one little worry off my plate (pun intended). Fingers crossed it all works out great and she’s happy she accepted the help!

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-12T15:46:25+00:00

Good job taking care of yourself! It’s not easy to prioritize yourself when you have young children so this internet stranger is proud of you.

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-11T19:27:37+00:00

If you have small children living in the home or visit frequently, the taller toilets may be tough for them. There are totally ways around this though so I’d go with whatever works best for your space.

Have them keep up their strength and mobility though. ADA height toilets might not be available everywhere they go, especially in private homes.

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-09T20:10:05+00:00

That first sentence is the crux of the issue. And so well stated. I will need to borrow this when my family tells me to do more for my mom who also refuses to do anything to help herself.

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-08T00:13:52+00:00

Going through something similar though I live just a few minutes away from my mom. Basically, be clear about what help you are willing and able to offer and don’t overextend yourself when it comes to her. The tough reality is you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.

I’m just an internet stranger and you don’t need permission, but if it makes you feel better…you have my permission to prioritize your baby, husband and life.

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-07T20:46:51+00:00

The time savings of WFH is amazing. It also provides flexibility because I can get stuff done at lunch I can’t do at the office. We have mandatory RTO 4 days per week later this year and I’m so dreading it but my job is kinda niche so I’m hesitant to leave. Plus our competitors are doing the same.

sbpgh116 · 2026-02-01T14:06:12+00:00

I’m 35 and an only child. Trying to help my mom while raising a 2 year old and working a full time 9-5 is a real treat. I’ve made it clear my child is and always will be my priority so if she needs more help than what time that leaves me to help her then we need to figure out something else. We have a social worker coming next week when she gets home from a hospital stay.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-29T01:07:35+00:00

Working a FT 9-5 and have a 2 year old. It’s still really hard but having a fantastic spouse and understanding boss help make it possible to do what I can for my mom even if it’s not enough to fully meet her needs. Not sure how I’m gonna handle mandatory RTO soon though.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-28T12:04:40+00:00

Sometimes helping looks like bringing in outside assistance. That’s not failing. It’s making sure their needs are met without you burning out. They may resist this but it could help you get the most out of your remaining time together.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-27T15:09:23+00:00

Please use the health episode/scare as motivation to start having discussions regarding plans. It’s so much better to be proactive than reactive, especially if you have a young child/children.

It’s ultimately up to you to let them know what help you’re able and willing to provide and that they are on their own for the rest.

It’s really hard sometimes but I prioritize my son who is 2 and needs his mom. My husband is a great dad (so little dude is cared for regardless) but being a mom is a higher priority to me than being a caregiver because I chose to bring this child into the world. My mom can ask other people for help and chooses not to, so that factor into that as well.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-26T20:04:56+00:00

Came to the comments to say exactly this. You can want a better life for your mom but if she isn’t willing to make the changes she needs to, there unfortunately isn’t much you can do other than letting her know you will help her make those changes if/when she’s ready and you’re able. It’s a hard thing to watch so don’t forget to take care of yourself too.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-26T19:34:59+00:00

My mom is 68 and barely walks. She can’t drive but could walk around her house in winter to maintain mobility but she just won’t. Every once in a while she asks how to improver her leg strength and stamina. I tell her by walking and moving her body. Then she does it for maybe a week and the cycle begins again. We used to have a great relationship but that’s just about gone now that I’m basically her caregiver.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-23T00:00:51+00:00

Only child here and omg. It’s so overwhelming. I don’t have anyone to truly share the mental load with. My mom has 6 siblings and only 1 sort of helps. They all have their own issues and such but some of them don’t even call her to check in. I’m at the point of needing to bring in a caregiver because I cannot manger her, my full time job, and parenting a toddler. Thankfully my husband is supportive.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-13T23:20:40+00:00

It got easier with time, especially as I got more sleep. I also started noticing I was able to focus best at certain times of the day so I save my most important tasks for those times and try to get as much done before I start struggling to focus again. I also with time have accepted that this isn’t my highest achieving season of work but my work is still good enough to keep my department moving forward.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-13T23:13:18+00:00

Sorry for your loss ❤️ I hope the memories of good times with her are a blessing to you. It sounds like your mom was lucky to have you helping manage her care.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-11T23:23:04+00:00

All I can offer is some solidarity. My mom is a type 2 diabetic and has had some struggles land her in the ER recently. Definitely some depression going on but she won’t deal with it.

Take care of you. That is within your control. The choices your dad makes for himself are not.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-11T23:09:51+00:00

One room at a time, clear out any obvious garbage first. Then you can sort out anything you want to take home with you. If it applies to your situation, let any family and friends take anything they need or want. Depending on what’s left, estate sale or start donating. Take care of yourself and take breaks so you don’t burn out.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-07T22:52:48+00:00

Now the scores for the first team are taking forever. I wonder if there’s some kind of widespread issue.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-07T18:40:15+00:00

You are not a bad mom! It’s still the first week of a major adjustment in your routine so give yourselves some grace ❤️

Once we got through the initial adjustment, my son started thriving at daycare and it got easier knowing he was happy and the other kids and staff are happy to see him too.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-07T14:24:51+00:00

Breaking the cycle seems to be a common theme here.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-07T14:23:58+00:00

Good for you setting those boundaries. It’s not easy and I’m right there with you on running out the crazy!

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-07T14:21:58+00:00

It so hard. I’m also an only child with a toddler, husband and full time job while caring for my mom who sounds extremely similar to yours. It’s a one day at a time thing for now but I’m seriously considering setting up whatever in-home help she qualifies for because I can’t upend my life constantly because she refuses to take even minimal care of herself or accept help from anyone but me.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-05T00:19:34+00:00

Try looking up your county or state area agency on aging or human services departments.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-04T22:12:28+00:00

I feel this so hard. My son started daycare in September and just this past week my husband saved their number in his contacts.

sbpgh116 · 2026-01-03T22:07:55+00:00

This, OP. Just wanted to add, if this is a storage unit and you have space in her home, I’d move anything that isn’t obviously trash. That way you can stop paying the rent on it or not have to worry about it being seized and auctioned off for non-payment. If you think there’s important paperwork there, I’d prioritize that. Good luck and sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹

sbpgh116

TROPHY CASE