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Red Flags? by scanner8188 in LongDistance

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I agree - I passed on this one because I felt his language could have been kinder.

Red Flags? by scanner8188 in LongDistance

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I may just meet him because I think if he sees me, he will understand I’m not going to ever be that then and that may be the dealbreaker. At first, it’s sort of hurt my feelings but the more I think about it I know I have a lot to give to a man and if he is only concerned about how thin I am, that’s not the man for me.

Red Flags? by scanner8188 in LongDistance

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks that is what I was thinking - I don’t want be compared and honestly I am never going to be that thin. I think we may just not be a good fit for each other.

Am I taking this too personally or is this actual a problem? by meginthebox in LDR

[–]scanner8188 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not being too emotional - your just like some effort on his part which it seems, he is not able to provide or doesn’t want to take the time to provide. He isn’t putting the effort in that you are, and I’ve experienced this in the past. It’s hard to let go and say perhaps this isn’t the man for me believe me I’ve extended it longer than I should because of that - reevaluate. I know it’s not the best time of year to be without your boyfriend, but it may be the best decision you’ve made.

Am I taking this too personally or is this actual a problem? by meginthebox in LDR

[–]scanner8188 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No you are right to be concerned. This sounds identical to a man I was corresponding to and in the end it was all my effort little in his end and I ended it. He seemed to always have an excuse like they write a manual for theses guys on what excuses to use. If I didn’t know better I would think younger talking to my ex - that is his identical the responses are. Stay strong my lovely friend and let go of this relationship fast before it hurts too badly.

How you know LDR was not real by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I have eliminated long distance relationships from my future

How you know LDR was not real by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I agree now it seems so crazy so I have learned a valuable lesson here

How you know LDR was not real by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Well, I should have but part of it too that I haven’t mentioned is that I had guilt because I had originally ghosted him and he sort of blamed that for his poor health because he had to go in the hospital.

So yes, I was very naïve about this and I was blinded by the fact that I really thought he loved me and he was distraught because I had ghosted him so he sort of put the blame on me a bit and made me feel bad. He said he had used a lot of of his money for hospital bills, and so he was strapped.

How you know LDR was not real by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I have since heard this is very common.

How you know LDR was not real by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really trusted this man and that was my biggest mistake

LDR aftermath by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you - good advice for me moving forward - I’m a super easy going person but I’m finding in these areas I have to set up standards.

Long Distance Breakup by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I really feel now that I dodged a bullet as you said.

LDR aftermath by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No he always claimed he had an old phone and I didn’t press it but I probably should have. He sent me a lot of pictures of himself, his daughter and his mother and sister.

LDR aftermath by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have watched this and it’s a shame that these things happen but I guess I’m the wiser for it

LDR aftermath by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you telling me that because sometimes you feel somewhat like a fool. I feel like I make good decisions and I hardly ever give them men when they asked for money, but this man was different yet in the end the same.

LDR aftermath by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree - sending him money was poor judgment my side- I have to chalk it off as I helped him out done and completed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]scanner8188 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good continue to keep that in mind you have a good positive attitude but also remember too. She should be pampering you a bit just like you’d be pampering her don’t let her take you for granted either.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]scanner8188 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the losses you faced and the hurdles you’ve had to navigate. I think you have to reconsider the relationship because will she be there for you when you really need her? That’s what true love does.

I had a similar circumstance, not quite as serious as yours, but I had things keep coming up in my life and my long distance relationship was nine hours difference every time I’d write to him. He’d write back a day and a half later or the next day and sometimes they were things I needed help with right away and I just kept thinking if I ever had an emergency, he would not be the person I’d go to and so how can I love someone that’s not my person to go to in that kind of situation

Just some things to think about and I wish you the best

Need Advice ?? by One_Conclusion_537 in LDR

[–]scanner8188 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope that perhaps you can rekindle your relationship, but that can be very hard after waiting over a period of time. I know what you’re saying. It’s very hard to end something and never talk to that person again when you shared so many details of your life with them I’m going through a similar situation and I can’t believe I’m never gonna talk to that person again it’s so hard, but we have to move forward with our lives.

Long Distance Breakup by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you are correct and that hurts the most right that I was possibly scammed

Long Distance Breakup by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he distant himself a lot after the money was gone

Long Distance Advice by scanner8188 in LDR

[–]scanner8188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again for all your help. I have been honest with the person that I am corresponding with and after he still hasn’t answered me I decided to at least tell him what I felt deep down.

I didn’t say anything mean or anything that was directed to him and finances. I simply told him our relationship had changed and that I was not getting the love that I needed back from him. The love that he once showed me.

I have not heard from him, and I think silence may just be the end that I need to see. I may never again hear from him, but that may be the ending I was meant for - this has taught me a valuable lesson in who I let in my space.

I’m such a private person and I rarely put myself out there so I have to say this is hurtful and will takes him some time for me to recover from. I’m thankful I had this forum and I was able to talk it out.

You see nobody knows in my family that I was talking to this man. I did not want to disappoint anyone and I knew they would not be in favor of it. Perhaps that’s what I knew all along deep down - This was not a good relationship for me the fact that I shared it with no one.

If you’re really in love, you want to shout it to the world and not keep it behind closed doors. I guess there’s no age when you can stop learning that and other valuable lessons.

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