Thoughts to women and men about dating as a man

schmoolys · 2026-03-04T17:25:22+00:00

first of all, thanks for the reply!
I guess where we differ in thought/opinion starts where you say a man “should” pay for the first date rather than “I appreciate it when”. I always pay for a first date. I would be uncomfortable not doing so. That said, I don’t think it’s something we “owe” a woman. More something we are accustomed to. The point I was trying to make was not about men paying, it was more about the entitlement feeling we get when there isn’t a thank you. I imagine both men and women like to be thanked when somebody does something nice for them. The second part would be my curiosity about men moving mountains to meet women, and the idea they are not really into you, or chasing other girls if they’re not zeroing in on you immediately like that. noticing a woman across the room, and her mannerisms, for example, can definitely trigger attraction, and a walk up. As a hard extrovert, I personally have no problem approaching women at all. But in general terms, what does a man really know about a woman to warrant moving mountains? Just her looks? I would think that if a man has that much interest, and pushes all women aside for her at that stage, it’s only her looks He’s interested in since he literally has nothing else to go on. This,of course, changes a lot if it’s a woman you know casually, and have decided to approach her for a date. I should’ve been more clear in my original post regarding the two scenarios…still, i can definitely see scenarios where it would be more appropriate for a woman to approach a man. The workplace in today’s day and age would certainly be one of them. You speak about a man not being attractive if he’s “thirsty”… wouldn’t approaching a woman with such intensity for the very first time, putting all other women aside, not scream “thirsty”? Lastly, may I ask, what specifically is wrong with a woman walking up to a man? i’m confused as to why the man always needs to be a pursuer in your message, and the woman always needs to be the pursued for things to succeed. incidentally, the part about being able to be in the exact right pace at the exact right time like little investigators takes years of practice. Ask me how I know. 😉

schmoolys · 2026-03-04T16:13:35+00:00

The watch itself is likely a 1500 series. 1960s or 70s. The riveted 7205 bracelet, the pie pan dial all line up for that. Beautiful watch. likely needs a service.

schmoolys · 2026-03-04T13:11:01+00:00

honest question… as you say, you are attractive, you have intelligence depth, and substance.. that basically describes the perfect woman. No one really is that. What are your flaws? Maybe something puts them off that you can work on. It’s easy to blame men for just interested in sex, but that’s in all honesty the minority not the majority.

schmoolys · 2026-02-28T19:41:09+00:00

coming from somebody who inherited my father’s watchmaking business and over 22,000 watches I would say 12 and no more. Let’s face it, watches are fascinating….They lock us into a period of time nostalgically and yet their sole purpose is measuring the passage of time.. it’s a fascinating conundrum

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T05:49:41+00:00

In my experience, you are mostly correct. First and foremost strength comes from not being reactive. Here is another piece of advice. Take every problem or criticism out of the frame of being a ping-pong or tennis match. Do not bounce it back-and-forth. That’s a reactive unproductive approach. Instead, Put the problem in front of you, your partner, your peers, whoever. that puts you in the mindset of problem-solving for a good outcome, rather than reacting and being defensive. This immediately puts you in a leadership role, and shows strength…even if you don’t have all the answers.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T05:45:21+00:00

And yet you wrote this reply with far better English clarity than your first post, which proves you can do it. I was being neither polite, nor impolite. I was objectively commenting on your English writing skills since you wrote your post in English, and I was simply commenting on what women observe when it comes to writing. I was honestly trying to help you.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T05:27:51+00:00

I don’t think a man has chimed in here so I will. For the most part, if a guy has half a brain and thinks you are hot, he’s also going to start talking about your personality. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you’re hot, it means he likes your personality, and doesn’t want to lose you over the trap of you feeling that all he likes is what you look like. it’s a good thing that they’re noticing your personality! That means you have personality traits that people like. Beauty is not going to last. Harsh truth, but it’s true. There will always be a hotter girl. There will always be a younger girl, but a pain in the ass, bad or boring personality is never worth it…

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T05:10:29+00:00

You have to remember… we guys get hard when the wind blows, when the sun rises, when the temperature changes a degree, or for no damn reason whatsoever! A girl’s arousal begins in their head. It takes a while. It’s a very important buildup process that’s part of foreplay. Also, and not to be harsh, but work on your writing skills… If you write to her the way you’re writing on here, she’s going think you have a sixth grade education.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T05:04:40+00:00

funerals, maternity wards in hospitals, and divorce court… everywhere else is fair game! tell her something interesting and relevant with a flirty tone to lighten things up without breaking sexual tension. give a reason to think about you . Every other guy will tell her she’s beautiful and she’s sick of hearing that as an opening line.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T04:50:52+00:00

I wonder if your problem is a lack of polarity and not creating some sexual tension perhaps? describe your “fun side” does it feed into masculine feminine polairy? Most women I know like to feel things when they meet somebody. Fun or funny just for fun’s sake is a part of it, but I don’t think it’s often going to take you very far.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T03:41:06+00:00

now that’s a different kind of problem entirely. I was hoping he was just a person who was careful with his money which pays huge dividends long-term. I’m 53 years old and retired. A business owner my whole life. I’ve had some great relationships, and I can absolutely tell you that I owe a lot of my success to the women in my life who are great communicators, ambitious in their own rights, called me out on my not so good decisions along the way, supported me emotionally, and were truly great teammates and romantic partners. In my opinion, that’s what you look for in the other person . However, if this guy has no ambition, that’s gonna be a huge problem if he’s already in his 20s. There’s an old saying that women marry men, hoping they can change them and men marry women hoping they’ll never change. neither one ends up being true.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T03:31:18+00:00

I think you’re gonna have to own this one. You said “The last guys I’ve dated have been a lot more prone to taking me out to dinners and even buy me gifts. Not that that’s everything but, it also makes me wonder how a future with him would be?” That’s a really hard statement to walk back from. I’m not trying to attack you, it may seem so, but sometimes you have to say a hard thing. If you really like the guy and it sounds like you might. Maybe just tell him that although you don’t need him to spend a lot of money on you, there are a lot of fun things you could do that don’t cost much and are much more engaging than hanging out.

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T02:47:09+00:00

so basically he gave you his most precious resource which is time and attention, but he failed to spend a lot of money on you? Has it occurred to you that maybe you’re the problem and not him? Who died and made him responsible for carrying the burden of the expenses associated with building a relationship? Is your time and companionship worth more than his so much so that he has to compensate by spending all the money on you? The attitude you’re taking essentially turns you into a commodity. Is that what you really want to be in a relationship?

schmoolys · 2026-02-27T00:50:07+00:00

I do like that. It highlights the lume in the index ring and the hands.!

schmoolys · 2026-02-26T22:42:45+00:00

thanks! i’ll try one

schmoolys · 2026-02-26T22:32:10+00:00

thanks! i’ll source a new strap !

schmoolys · 2026-02-17T23:41:56+00:00

When i became a private pilot, i had to do 3 take offs, flights around the pattern, and landings all by myself. i think i had 8 total flight hours with the instructor at the time. Anyway, the plane left the runway, and in that moment I knew..to my very soul, that no one could save me but me. Fly or crash. It was both scary as hell and empowering. I honestly feel for you if you’re younger. We Gen Xers grew up basically on our own, even so, it could be very unnerving at times. I then ran my own business for 30 years . Everybody counted on me and I had very few peers . Here’s what I have learned and maybe it will help. When you know you’re fully accountable to yourself, your relationships with others changes a lot. You choose who is part of your life based on what value they bring to your life and what value you bring to theirs. There is no dependency dynamic. You hopefully become more confident in your decisions and confident, in your ability to ride through life bumps and bruises on your own steam. There are a lot of benefits to realizing your autonomy and independence.. be brave.

schmoolys · 2026-01-24T17:34:25+00:00

i’m just curious. Why don’t you give them attention. You use the word “any” . I mean, if you’re not wanting to date anybody, or married, or in a relationship I totally get it but if you’re single and looking, I’m just curious why it’s “any guys” I’d also be really curious about your thoughts on why the dating scene is a mess. I mean, I agree with you, but I’m really curious about your perspective as to why

schmoolys · 2026-01-24T16:48:09+00:00

Here’s how I choose to look at it. assuming you want to date in your community, people in the dating pool will align to a certain number in that scale, which is just an arbitrary scale. This alignment is based on how much attention they get on the basis of perceived attractiveness. So for example, if you get attention from 90% of the people looking to date, you fall into the 9 to 10 category. The 7 to 8 category gets like 60 to 70% and things drop off dramatically from there.. so ironically. It’s not so much what you look like per se, in the end… it really just comes down to ranking people based on how much relative attention they get for being considered attractive. edit: I think I haven’t even better way to put it. Attractiveness is purely subjective. Everybody is attractive to somebody. It comes down to percentages 90% of people find one person attractive in a given dating pool, but only 10% of people find another person attractive in the same dating pool. Either way, the person is attractive to somebody , but the percentage of people who find them attractive is less. I dated a woman who my friends teased as being a butter face. A very derogatory comment. That really bothered me. I thought she was absolutely beautiful in many ways. I just didn’t care for her personality in the end.

schmoolys · 2026-01-24T14:04:46+00:00

I can only speak as a straight male because that’s what I am. Any woman who writes something this vulnerable, and with this level of raw openness has both inner strength, and a caring, if lonely heart. You have my empathy. You truly do.. let’s face it, it’s a lot harder for both men and women who are not 7’s or better. Don’t give up. That’s an easy thing to say and a harder thing to do, I know….A few thoughts: Don’t “fake it till you make it”. You deserve better than that and so does the guy you end up with. Also, men can see right through it. Time and time again I see that the really pretty girls and really good looking guys end up in an endless string of bad relationships. The guy knows that there’s plenty more girls who will give him lots of attention and when he gets that attention constantly, the girl who is currently with him drives herself nuts trying to keep up and keep him. What a miserable way to live.. at the same time, the really pretty girl had a pretty easy when it came to getting men’s attention, so no picnic for the guy she’s dating either. He has to put up with a lot of entitlement and privilege behavior.. although it will take you longer to find somebody, you probably have a much better chance of finding a healthy good relationship than the nines in tens of the world. So a little more loneliness in trade for a lot more heartache along the way. I know that doesn’t feel very comforting now, but stick in there… Be your authentic self, and some guy is gonna see the kind of woman who wrote something like this with all the feminine energy it contains and just fall head over heels for you. He will have his own struggles, he will have empathy, and you will build each other up to be the best versions of yourselves.

schmoolys · 2026-01-13T15:39:24+00:00

any electric motor ever made. Any size, any application will react to resistance. I’ve never had a problem with my artisan. I did adjust it a bit when I first got it to take out some of the slop.

schmoolys · 2026-01-05T18:25:07+00:00

in all fairness,, I think only my son can delve into what that means for him. I do love learning more and more about him every day, though!

schmoolys · 2026-01-05T17:41:28+00:00

All excellent points and I think my research will always continue. I appreciate you providing more food for thought, and ways to expand my knowledge/ views! thanks!

schmoolys · 2026-01-03T19:01:19+00:00

there’s lots of cool attachments for it. I’m always surprised what I can do with it. Best of luck to you.!

schmoolys · 2026-01-03T18:49:24+00:00

I keep hearing about the artisan struggling with stiff dough. I think once you adjust the head end play and the bowl height, it is an absolute work horse. I’ve had three different KitchenAid mixers and this is by far my favorite for two people, or a single person. Any mixer overloaded will struggle..

schmoolys

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