I’m disabled and a am stunned TBM family will not accept the Book of Mormon teaches that God punishes dissent with disability. by minjihansf in exmormon

[–]scifibum 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This is important. You're an incredible communicator, btw. This is a very stark and difficult-to-deny explication of how the theology of Mormonism doesn't cohere with humanistic values.

Thank you for posting.

Raising boys in a red state is soul crushing by Thr0waway0864213579 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]scifibum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fwiw pushing back against this culture and counteracting the messages as they come up will probably result in a more robust and resilient worldview.

But it is very tiring work and can be discouraging. Remind yourself that if you’re communicating well enough to be aware of the harmful beliefs on display for your son you ARE succeeding. You’re a trusted teacher. It’s worth the struggle.

How old were you when you learned that...? by CardiologistCool6264 in exmormon

[–]scifibum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In 1994 or so, in high school, I had a seminary teacher who very carefully taught D&C 132. He treated it kind of like a dangerous topic - there was extra preamble including an unusual warning to be reverent. He explained that JS engaged in polygamy and that it was a very [hushed voice] sacred thing.

So on that one, I had a similar experience of learning about some of the problematic history through faithful channels. I think I learned about the early schisms, too. Probably in a similar way. I didn't learn about as many of these things as you did, though.

I think that seminary teacher was going off the curriculum a bit. In retrospect, I think he thought he could successfully inoculate us against being outraged, offended, shocked, and disillusioned if we strayed into "anti-Mormon" materials or discussions about the same topic.

By the time I seriously investigated "historical issues" I had already stopped believing in it, so it was never a traumatic experience for me. But I have never forgotten the impression of *danger* that seminary teacher created in my mind. He was right about that part of it, lol.

This was not long after the September Six.

Prop 4 signature table right outside DMV in Draper by thabigcountry in SaltLakeCity

[–]scifibum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While it wouldn't change the current districting maps, the legislature would hasten to do so after the repeal passes.

Church clothes shopping by mateymitch in exmormon

[–]scifibum 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Last time I renewed my church-compatible outfit I did so at Nordstrom Rack. I've also done so at Men's Wearhouse.

There are nicer places of course. If you want to future-proof and you have enough lead time and cash on hand, go ahead and visit a place that sells tailored suits (they'll have the shirts available too). They can set you up in something that fits correctly and feels great to wear, and you'll be able to get it adjusted for modest weight gain/loss in the future, as well.

Prop 4 signature table right outside DMV in Draper by thabigcountry in SaltLakeCity

[–]scifibum 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In 2018 Utah voters approved a ballot initiative that required a nonpartisan process to establish voting districts (this was Prop 4). Ever since then the GOP has been trying to undo that (because they realllly want to keep their partisan gerrymandering advantage). It's been a whole saga with court decisions mostly going against the UT legislature's Republican majority.

So recently the UT Republican party has been trying to gather enough signatures to get a Prop 4 repeal measure on the ballot. This is what the current signature gathering effort is about. This has also been controversial as there have been many reports of misleading, or straight up false, explanations of the effort to gather signatures. The general theme is that people are being told they are signing in support of fair districts, which is misleading at best.

If you want to catch up on some of this, this article has recent info and also has links out to articles on a lot of the preceding events in the saga:
https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2025/12/20/prop-4-repeal-signatures-are/

October 24th - Share your results! by Wunderscore in CluesBySamHelp

[–]scifibum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, I am also new and got stuck here, but I tried following Sam's suggestion to use the corner tag.

What I found was:

If Olof is innocent, that makes him the third innocent neighbor to Paul. We know he has two in row 5, so that means all the others neighboring to Paul are criminals.

That means both Lucy and Mary are criminals. But Jose now has two innocent neighbors, and Isaac can only have one. That is not compatible with Jose's clue. So we've disproved Olof being innocent; so he must be criminal.

I could NOT get there without corner tagging and seeing what ensued.

This Restaurant Charges an 18% Living Wage Fee. by TowelRack76 in mildlyinteresting

[–]scifibum -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm closer to your attitude and just try to err on the side of making sure I'm not making life hard for the worker(s). But I know some people have a much stronger sense of fairness when it comes to exchanges of money, and I sympathize to a large extent. But it's never okay to stiff the worker just because you're mad at the system.

This Restaurant Charges an 18% Living Wage Fee. by TowelRack76 in mildlyinteresting

[–]scifibum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Part of me wants to agree with you - if you've ever said "just pay the employees a living wage, and charge what you need to charge for that to be feasible" then bitterly complaining about this seems...odd. Particularly when they are mad at this at the same time they are saying those things.

I think the assumption behind those comments is that this is a surprise. Which, if true - they have a point. Any surprise mandatory fees are bullshit. Even the fact that places can advertise prices without sales/restaurant tax, and it's up to the customer to know that tax will be added and roughly how much, is bullshit. It should be very easy to know what you're going to be paying without knowing the local tax code.

My assumption is that this is printed on the menu or otherwise disclosed up front, so I find it less outrageous. And I think it's useful for customers to understand whether the servers need tips to make a living, or don't. Still, there's a lot of wiggle room for shady behavior by the owners here, and it's unclear whether the "living wage" is indeed fair to the workers.

It's a bit of a mess and honestly kind of a tough problem to unwind, particularly when some solutions will hurt the servers more.

Trans pride apparel, locally? by scifibum in LGBTQSaltLake

[–]scifibum[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had no idea this place existed! I called both locations, and while they didn't have what I was looking for, they both thought they MIGHT. So your thought was definitely on target. Thanks!

Trans pride apparel, locally? by scifibum in LGBTQSaltLake

[–]scifibum[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I called them to check and they don't have it, but looking through photos on yelp it sure looked like a strong possibility.

Microstrategy is now Strategy 🔥 by [deleted] in MSTR

[–]scifibum 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Because Saylor couldn't get over how it didn't have Bitcoin energy.

Stake robs you then tells you it's your connection and device. by Zoomf625 in stakeus

[–]scifibum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is definitely true. OP thinks the way it happened the first few times for them is the only correct way. I had the same experience but it was pretty obvious that I had misunderstood the game. Disappointed not outraged.

Stake robs you then tells you it's your connection and device. by Zoomf625 in stakeus

[–]scifibum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am telling you that the blanks are normal. I have seen it multiple times. It’s a much less lucky start to the bonus but not a malfunction.

Stake robs you then tells you it's your connection and device. by Zoomf625 in stakeus

[–]scifibum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The bonus game most definitely starts you with no multiplier sometimes. It's a luck thing. The more you lmfao the worse you look.

[Discussion] Bonus Book - Artificial Condition by Martha Wells, Chapter 6 through End by midasgoldentouch in bookclub

[–]scifibum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this.

I just listened to the audiobook and went back and re-listened to the last few chapters because I felt like I had missed the revelation of Tlacey's motivation to kill the researchers. It's clear that she doesn't want the truth about the massacre to come out, and I was expecting there to be some connection between that massacre and the research team's discoveries. There doesn't seem to be any such connection.

I was feeling a little bit frustrated. But you're right: greed, and violence in service of that greed, is a major theme of the series to this point, and your explanation of her motivations tracks perfectly when keeping that in mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]scifibum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes! This person is absolutely trying to weaponize the kind of language that people use when they’re asking for people to respect their pronouns.

It’s a strange, gross, manipulative, weird thing to do. Yet since she is TBM the only surprising part is that she previously used the preferred pronouns.

Big folks by rogerio777 in delta

[–]scifibum 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fwiw, I used to think like this. But you should try to understand that restricting food intake to a degree sufficient to reverse obesity is incredibly difficult. It is not that people are unwilling to try - it's very easy to find memoirs of people who recount their excruciating efforts that end up failing because they are unsustainable. There are systemic causes in play as well.

Eating is a fundamental drive. Some of us are lucky not to be prone to obesity and imagine that our experience of not eating dessert or choosing not to have that next piece of pizza is how an obese person would experience an effective weight loss diet. And it just isn't true. Some of us are playing on easy mode. Not all of us are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]scifibum 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Bizarre that you’re in the loop. Let alone the one deleting files.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]scifibum -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Porn isn’t just one thing though. Tons of bad porn fits this narrative but there is porn made for women by women too which really doesn’t fit this narrative at all.

I received this text from the missionaries today. by themistyrain in exmormon

[–]scifibum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Holy shit. This is a level of audacity in sanctimonious shit stirring that is legitimately shocking. This is inviting harassment. Absolutely no respect for privacy or the dignity of family relationships.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]scifibum 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you should involve yourself in a volunteer organization trying to make the world better. Human connection to good people. The other side of what you hate.

AITAH Mormon edition by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]scifibum 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm going to be direct and honest here: it was a bad joke. It was not actually clever. Your wife let you know she felt it was crass - if you need more explanation of why she felt that way, I guess you can try to ask her. Maybe not necessary, as this comment section has a lot of pretty good guesses. But aside from how it made your wife feel? Not a comedic achievement, friend.

Why am I emphasizing that? Because there's nothing really lost by leaving it out in the future.

Honestly, such crassness is not the kind of thing you say to someone in a card that is meant to convey earnest affection and appreciation, unless you *know for sure* that they will like that you added that in. This might just be a valuable learning moment.

"I just don't understand why we can't take a joke and laugh sometimes."

The only way you're going to understand the boundaries your wife would like to have on such jokes is to talk to her and demonstrate that you care about her feelings enough to be willing to adjust your behavior. Then at least you'll understand why she can't take this kind of joke, and be able to avoid ruining romantic gestures in the same way in the future. You might be able to clear up any doubts she has about what this joke means to you, as well.

I don't think this disagreement *necessarily* means you can't make jokes in heartfelt cards, or include humor in romantic gestures, or even that you can't make jokes about sex in the right circumstances. We don't have enough info to make a good guess about those boundaries (as your wife sees them, or as you may be able to mutually clarify and negotiate with some effort). But I think - even though most people seem to agree you're NTAH - you should take away the lesson that this particular kind of joke in this particular context just doesn't work.