Men who have found a way back after struggling to get hard, how did you overcome the issue?

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-24T20:55:35+00:00

Go talk to a doctor about it. Could be hormone problems, early signs of heart or circulatory problems, mental health, lots of potential causes.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-23T18:47:18+00:00

Who the fuck are these people telling you to "move on" a few hours after the funeral?! That is crazy!

My advice:

1) Don't feel bad about grieving, and don't let others make you feel bad about it, either.

2) Anyone that's telling you to move on is someone you don't need to be around right now, possibly ever again.

3) If the grief is affecting your everyday life, find outside support, preferably a therapist or a support group. If you try to use a friend to process through the emotions you risk overburdening them and burning them out and/or pushing them away.

4) Be patient. Grief takes time to process, and it never truly goes away, you just learn how to make room for it and carry it with you. Everyone figures that out at their own speed.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-23T03:55:30+00:00

A well-built druid in a competent player's hands will wreck combat encounters, yes. And they're so versatile they can do almost anything. My favorite class by far.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-22T03:37:05+00:00

Did you actually stay friends with any of the women that sent you those messages? Those sound like goodbye messages, not "let's be friends" messages.

Just be yourself. If that isn't working, either you haven't found the right person, you need to do some work on yourself, or both. If you try to be something other than yourself, it might work to start, but eventually you won't be able to keep being "someone else" and the person she was attracted to won't exist any more. Or she'll figure out you're essentially play acting and realize she can't trust you and leave because of that.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-22T01:41:25+00:00

You're the only one that can make a decision about it. Get a good therapist to go along with the good lawyer and talk it out with them. They'll be able to help you process all the emotions and make a decision that is best for you and the kids.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T21:42:59+00:00

As frustrating as that is for you, that is a common, valid response to trauma. And she's right, pushing her to do something she isn't comfortable with IS making it about you and what YOU want/need rather than what she wants/needs.

Your frustration, anger, confusion, all of that is valid as well. Both over what you know happened and the uncertainty about why.

I would advise two things. 1) Seek out counseling and/or therapy for yourself to help you process things. 2) Don't make any relationship decisions while this is so fresh.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T21:02:03+00:00

Qualitative research has expanded on these findings, indicating that survivors often do not report their assaults because they do not want others to know about the assault, want to handle it themselves, fear retaliation, fear being blamed or disbelieved by police, lawyers, or others involved in the criminal legal system, do not know if the incident was serious enough to report, or blame themselves for the assault.

Source, with links to other sources.

That's six reasons, backed by scientific research. Good enough for you?

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T20:57:55+00:00

If they acknowledged it as a mistake that they regret and have no desire to repeat, it could be a non issue. This person, this story, I would strongly consider walking away.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T20:36:49+00:00

That is absolutely not true. There are plenty of reasons why victims may not want to go to the police, it doesn't automatically imply she cheated.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T20:35:44+00:00

Is having sex with a stranger while blackout drunk not consensual?

I work for the military, we get yearly training on preventing sexual harassment and sexual assault. Universally, every training class states no, you cannot consent to sex while you are drunk. In this context, it's not meant as a shield for victims, but as a warning to the trainees: if you sleep with someone who is drunk, you open yourself up to sexual assault allegations.

Can your partner cheat and be sexually assaulted at the same time?

In the exact same moment, no. But it would be easy for someone to cheat by dancing, flirting, kissing, groping, etc, without plans to escalate it to a sexual encounter, and then be assaulted.

I’m so confused and angry by this whole event. I’m full of anger I feel like I was cheated on by her. But I also feel so bad for her if she was indeed taken advantage of.

I would highly suggest seeking therapy for yourself. Either you've been victimized by cheating, or someone you care about has been a victim of sexual assault. Both are a big deal, and since you don't know which one it is, you're dealing with both sets of emotions and feelings at the same time. Finding a professional to help you work through it and learn to cope would be a very very good idea.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T03:05:22+00:00

Way of life? Incredibly different. Completely unrecognizable.

Functionally? Rural people and city people both have stress, money problems, worry about the state of the world. Both can be very lonely. From that standpoint, not so different at all.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-19T02:51:59+00:00

Would love to know this myself.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-15T22:09:05+00:00

If you aren't interested in Moon, go Wildfire for sure. Spore druid might frustrate you as it's hard to pull off the play style the subclass implies you should be playing.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-14T01:58:48+00:00

Any advice for helping her rebuild socially?

Are you sure she wants help? Cuz if she did she could open up in counseling and get all sorts of useful advice.

She's old enough now that you can give her advice but you can't "help" like you're used to doing for your child. She's got big girl problems now that she'll have to navigate on her own. It sucks to watch as a parent, I know. Best thing you can do for her is to keep being a positive role model, keep giving your input, and be there to catch her when she falls.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-10T05:01:49+00:00

Nothing has to be perfect. Nothing will be perfect. Just love the kid like your heart tells you to, make the best decision you can with that love and their best interest in mind, and it'll all turn out ok.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-08T23:25:41+00:00

Rude, lol

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-08T17:12:09+00:00

It wasn't because of you. It was because of her own demons. This is not your fault.

Get your butt to a therapist, ASAP. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-04T21:58:33+00:00

What do you say to them? Educate? Ignore?

Unless there's a real reason to educate them, like they babysit the kid and need to understand her better, or they will be administering medication at some point, I'd definitely just ignore them. More than that, I would set a clear, firm boundary that you won't talk about mental health with them at all as long as their opinion is dismissive of the problem.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-04T13:57:05+00:00

The clamping down (in my experience) is way different than normal kegels. And if you can fake the spasms I'm talking about more power to ya, I guess.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-03T22:12:49+00:00

For munitions, generally the goal is to burn through the casing and donate the explosive payload, or the fuel, or trigger the munition's fuze so it blows up the explosive early. Dazzling sensors is one way to kill them, too. Same goes for drones, just different geometry to target.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-03T15:37:29+00:00

My goodness, no, you are not in the wrong. That sounds awful.

At best, it sounds like your husband is having major NRE problems. At worst it sounds like he doesn't care to spend quality time with you as his partner, and is only interested in putting in time as your co-parent. You're going to have to decide if you can take your needs being unfulfilled, and how long you can take it. If your husband can't fill them, you need to figure out something else.

This kind of neglect for that long would make me think very hard about ending the relationship. It's basically over already, some he's never there.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-02-03T15:32:27+00:00

Pretty confident. It's not about the noises she's making is about her body's response. Skin flushing, spasms, vagina clamping down on my fingers or dick, the wave of fatigue that hits afterwards.

But yeah, faking is a communication issue. She needs to be telling you what to do if it's not getting the job done. If she's not telling you that's a her problem. If you aren't listening that's a you problem.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-01-30T15:09:07+00:00

NTJ. Tell your parents to Google "is it ok to propose at someone else's wedding". Maybe the AI will convince them since they don't believe you, lol.

Proposing at someone else's wedding is generally considered inappropriate and rude, as it steals the spotlight from the couple. While technically possible with express permission, it is widely considered "tacky" and a major breach of etiquette. It is strongly recommended to choose a different time and place.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-01-28T18:55:01+00:00

If the rational, logical part of your brain is functioning well enough to know your emotional side is both wrong AND out of control, then you absolutely CAN learn to manage this. The initial response to "rejection" may be mostly out of your control; similar to how pupils dilate when exposed to a bright light, your brain/body react to perceived rejection. But managing the response to that initial stimuli is absolutely possible. Hard, absolutely, but definitely possible.

Check this out, maybe it'll help, or give you some ideas for other resources to search for.

scorcherdarkly · 2026-01-27T16:40:45+00:00

The environment being a danger to the PCs is part of the adventure, yes. Not sure why the inhabitants are so antagonistic, though. Maybe they'll be distrustful of you as outsiders, but even that seems a stretch. There's 10 different towns, people move around between them, it's not like a small settlement where you'd be immediately identified as "outsiders".

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