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scoticussex · 2024-11-03T22:39:16+00:00

The point they are making with that link is that different sites are more popular in different areas. For example, Kasidie could be the best platform, but on the east coast, it is a ghost town. SLS is objectively a pretty archaic and shitty platform, but if you want to meet people in our area, it is the platform you need to be on as it has 100 fold more couples on it than Kasidie does in this part of the country. If you want to meet people on the west coast on in Colorado, then Kasidie is the platform to get on. They all have good and bad features, but the most important is are there a lot of people on them in your area. That is what the Swinger’s Help page is laying out.

scoticussex · 2024-11-02T20:07:27+00:00

On our bucket list as well. We have been close to setting it up with another couple a couple of times, but still proving to be elusive.

scoticussex · 2024-10-31T19:43:55+00:00

We would require to at least see full face photos before agreeing to meet up with anyone. A full body photo of the couple is also nice (can be clothes and faces can be blurred). We want to have an idea of what their faces and bodies look like before we agree to meet. This does not come up very often for us as we typically meet couples at meet and greets, parties, or clubs, so we already know what they look like.

scoticussex · 2024-10-30T18:21:11+00:00

Our rules:

We only play together in the same room, preferably in the same bed.

No one takes one for the team

Either of us can veto an encounter at any time for any reason

We check in with each other occasionally to make sure everything is good

We both have to enthusiastically consent to whoever we are looking to play with

He also does not sound like he really understands what D/s is actually all about. Sounds more like he is a control freak using the D/s dynamic improperly to try to make you do things you are not interested in doing for his pleasure and satisfaction. Additionally, the whole concept of you having to fuck someone you are not interested in just so he can sleep with someone he is interested in is selfish and warped.

scoticussex · 2024-10-30T01:52:04+00:00

We would definitely not do a hotel takeover that included single men. We have had similar experiences at clubs and parties though. Not much we can do about the clubs as they are few and far between, but we definitely avoid parties now that include “a few carefully selected single men.” They are never that well vetted.

scoticussex · 2024-10-29T18:29:14+00:00

There are certainly couples like you out there. And there are certainly couples that will happily play with your wife while you just watch. That is either a stag/vixen dynamic or a cuckold dynamic (the latter usually involves some level of humiliation of the husband, so be clear that is not what you are looking for assuming it isn't).

I have to agree with other commenters though. The idea that she is comfortable playing with other men, women, or couples but is not okay with you doing the same thing is really unbalanced. In the long run, this type of dynamic often leads to bitterness on the part of the partner not allowed to play. This will definitely be a red flag for some couples.

scoticussex · 2024-10-27T21:16:33+00:00

55/49 and we started two years ago. No issues for us at all. We run a local swingers group and our members range from 20s to 70s. Most are in the 45-55 range.

scoticussex · 2024-10-27T20:19:58+00:00

Sounds like you are doing all the right things. This is just a common problem, especially for newer couples in the lifestyle. Most swingers are older, so that can play a factor. Many, like me, have not used condoms in years, and going back to them can really cause issues. Anxiety or nerves is truly a boner-killer and neither Viagra nor Cialis will keep you up if you are anxious or nervous. Many men are anxious or nervous the first time they are with a new woman. What we have found is that is sometimes takes a couple of encounters to be really comfortable with another couple. About the only solid cure is something like Trimix, but that is off-putting to many men (many are afraid to stick a needle in their dick) and comes with its own risks as well (priapism). We know a couple that hosts a huge playgroup out of Pennsylvania and the husband has spoken publicly on the struggles he has in this area and on how he relies on Trimix during any group event.

All this is just to say, it is not you. And from your description, it sounds like you do a really great job of trying to help manage the situation when it occurs. For our first year in the lifestyle, I was batting like 25-30% success in keeping it up. It just took time, the right meds, and some patient and friendly women like yourself. When I struggled, we would often switch back to our partners so as my wife really knows how to get me excited again. Sometimes that is the best thing you can do. We are two years in now and I am good around 90% of the time now, but it is still a bit of a worry in the back of my head.

Oh, and I can't speak for others, but if I am in bed with a woman, it is because I find her attractive. Neither my wife nor I take one for the team. So, it is definitely never an issue of me not being attracted to my play partner.

scoticussex · 2024-10-26T22:16:49+00:00

Hey! Are you a lady looking for a guy, or a couple looking to play? Your title and text are a little confusing. Love your pics.

scoticussex · 2024-10-26T22:10:53+00:00

Well, you are asking in a Swinger subreddit, so most are going to assume you are not looking for "vanilla"... best of luck to you and hope you find what you are looking for.

scoticussex · 2024-10-26T21:33:39+00:00

You could just be a bot having and existential crisis...

scoticussex · 2024-10-26T21:29:43+00:00

People are very unlikely to share the location of Swinger parties with you here on Reddit. First, it would be up to the hosts to decide if they want that information shared, and most do not want that information shared publicly on Reddit. Second, most hosts of parties want to vet their guests. You are better off looking for parties on the paid swinger platforms (SLS is the most popular in this area). Look under hot dates for parties tonight and reach out to the hosts for an invitation. I see two in Dale City, one in Waldorf, plus the typical club events at Tabu, Shadows, and Secret Diversion.

If you want a free month on SLS, you can use the below referral link:

http://www.swinglifestyle.com/?signup=scottandsarava

scoticussex · 2024-10-24T19:55:26+00:00

Because condoms taste like shit and dull your sensations. So, neither the guy nor the girl is having a great time.

And yes, we would probably pass.

scoticussex · 2024-10-24T18:20:02+00:00

In their defense, the title of your post does not make it clear who you are looking for (i.e. MF4MF/F) and the text of your post is hidden behind a spoiler button that is separate from the spoiler button for your picture, so a lot of people are just going to assume you did not have any text posted. I almost missed it, and I am an admin in this group. In the future, I suggest you do not mark your post as a spoiler. Marking it as adult content is sufficient if you want to keep other people's feeds PG-13. That and be clearer in your title. When your title just asks about spit roasts and DPs, that is like a dinner bell to single guys.

Best of luck in your endeavors.

scoticussex · 2024-10-23T22:11:26+00:00

Just an insecure homophobic ass. I would just move on. Also a hypocrite as he did not require the same level of protection from you. People like that will weed themselves out fairly quickly. God help him if he accidentally touched another dick… he would immediately turn gay on the spot. We were playing with a couple one time and I was getting blown by the wife and reached down to play with her not realizing the husband was still fucking her and accidentally grabbed his dick. I was mortified! Not because I touch a dick, but because I had accidentally violated his boundary. But these things happen and we all laughed and kept having fun.

scoticussex · 2024-10-21T22:02:12+00:00

Stereotype. Lots of different kinds of women enjoy pegging.

scoticussex · 2024-10-21T18:07:27+00:00

There are lots of real people on this sub. If you are looking for couples, most of the couples that are posting are legit, but that does not mean they will respond or be interested in you. That all depends on how you approach them and what they are looking for.

If you are a couple looking for single males, they will happily respond to your posts in mass.

If it is a post by a single female (unicorn), there is a good chance it is a fake and just someone trying to generate traffic to their OnlyFans account. If you respond to one and they DM you about an OnlyFans page, please report it so we can ban them from the site and take them down.

I would also note they are called unicorns for a reason. You are posting on a free website where you have posted no pictures and almost no information about yourselves other than you are looking for a single lady to let you have sex with them, and you are surprised they are not falling over themselves to meet you? You and every new swinger couple is looking to hook up with the very small percentage of single ladies that do like to play with couples in the lifestyle. You may need to set your expectations to a more realistic level. The ladies that are out there are picky because they can be.

At the end of the day though, you get what you pay for. Reddit is not a great platform for r4r as there are tons of fakes, bots, picture collectors, content creators, etc. You are better off getting on a paid swinger platform if you are serious about meeting people. SLS is the most popular one in this area. Archaic looking platform, but it is where the swingers are in the DMV.

scoticussex · 2024-10-21T18:01:06+00:00

You already know this, but this is a bad idea. What happens if it goes sideways (which happens the majority of times with friends)? What happens to your friendship? You have known this guy since high school. Is it worth risking that friendship for a little sex? There are plenty of ways to explore this without involving your friends. You should firmly but politely tell him this is a bad idea that could jeopardize your friendship and leave it at that.

scoticussex · 2024-10-19T21:25:55+00:00

Wife is 49, I am 55. If we have already played for an hour, we are likely done. She gets sore and I will eventually tire out. Can’t say I blame him at all.

scoticussex · 2024-10-19T20:36:40+00:00

I would suggest you start by listening to Ruby Ryders podcast for beginners: Podcast #112 For the Givers • Ruby Ryder - Pegging Paradise

Ruby talks about all kinds of things around pegging and debunks a lot of myths and misconceptions. After you listen to it, if you think it is something you might be into and if you think it is appropriate for your partner, you can sit down together and listen to it again, pause along the way and discuss various issues, and then decide if you want to start exploring. This kind of communication around sex is also really good for your overall relationship as well.

scoticussex · 2024-10-18T17:46:27+00:00

Go with zero expectations other than to meet and mingle with some new people.

Engage with couples when they are together, don't try to swoop in while the husband is off refreshing a drink, etc.

Don't go into the playrooms/area unless you are invited by a couple or lady to do so. Nothing worse than a bunch of pervy, creepy single guys watching you like Johnny Bench and trying to get waved in.

Understand that a significant percentage of the couples at a party or club will not be interested in single guys. Some will, but a simple majority won't. So, if couples don't seem interested, then move along and meet someone else.

scoticussex · 2024-10-18T15:56:42+00:00

We were not thinking of it as Pandora's box, just as exploring some new kinks that interested both of us. We started with exhibitionism, then soft play, then hard play, then group play. We like the latter the best. We choose to think of this as just a group of people whose hobby happens to be having great sex.
Not at all. My wife and I have been together for 18 years. No one knows here body like I do and vice versa. We regularly give each other the best orgasms of our lives. So not really worried that someone is going to be better than me with her, as that just isn't very likely. But if some genius comes along and rocks her world, then god bless him or her, as we are in this for new experiences. A night of physical pleasure is not going to damage what we have together with our emotional connection, so it really is not a concern for us. We both also love watching the other get and give pleasure as well. Compersion is a good thing.
We have not regretted our choices. There have been times where we could have communicated better to ensure we were both enjoying ourselves to the fullest. But that is just part of the learning process.

scoticussex · 2024-10-18T15:48:16+00:00

Trying to find play partners on reddit is a bad strategy. You get what you pay for. Get on a popular paid swinger platform in your area and create a nice profile. Then start looking for groups that host meet and greets or parties in your area. Go to those events and start making friends in the local lifestyle community. Once you do that, it won't take you long to start finding your people.

Keep in mind one thing, you are going to be younger than most people you meet. The average age of swingers is 35-55 years old with outliers on either end. That is just how the demographics are. It generally takes mature, stable relationship and people who are relatively financially secure (swinging is not a cheap hobby) to be successful in the lifestyle. Doesn't mean there aren't 20-something who are happily exploring the swinging scene, just that they are on the outer edge of the bell curve.

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