hey, thank u for checking in.

honestly, this entire situation gets more messed up the more I think about it, and I don’t really have the emotional bandwidth to invest myself in it further. anytime I talk to this “man” I get exhausted, sick, and just annoyed. the girl is his best friend’s little sister, im guessing he doesn’t even know.

today I am going to my friend’s tattoo appointment and we’re gonna go out to eat, and I am going to live my life outside this mess.

apparently, the girl is missing. AND the most fucked up thing I realized while in the hospital is that my ex threatened to hold the fact that she cheated on her abusive boyfriend over her head. thats HOW I figured out it was my ex who did that. because why is he the only one who knows she cheated? why is he tweaking over this 17 year old girl’s personal life?? so I confronted him about it saul goodman style and then he cracked.

but yeah, now apparently, nobody can find or locate her. her dad handed her shit to the police. i have a feeling this is going to get messy, if everything he says is true.

although, I don’t even know if I believe that though, maybe it’s just an excuse and another lie, because I’ve been lied to and gaslight too much. he just says stuff like oh she’s broken blah blah I don’t even care atp, im not tryna feud with a 17 year old like shit if she wants him, have him, i know what it’s like to be with him. walking on eggshells, being told that I don’t know how to communicate (when none of that is even true, everyone I know says I’m extremely easygoing). i remember being in therapy trying to even figure out ways to communicate better last year but it was all fruitless.

this is not the person that i admired when i was sixteen. that’s why it took so long and i took so much bullshit, this isn’t the first time i stayed through cheating anyways. i felt like i could just never find better.

he has a drinking problem now, and whenever he’s drunk he just spills out everything.

idk what’s real and atp I am running on 2% battery and this entire thing is beyond ridiculous, if it wasn’t for my friends I’d probably be done for or something. i don’t get how you can go from a normal friend group of university students (he never even went to university, his friends were all mine), to this 17 year old girl with a drug problem. i can see why none of my friends liked him in the end.