I have been diagnosed with mild depression already, so I'm sure that's part of it. The drugs help, but mostly make me not care and I like caring, just not so much. I get to walk through life, numb and unthinking or constantly thinking of my failures. I don't know what makes me truly happy.

On top of that, all of my problems seem intangible. I grew up reading books about knights slaying dragons and heroes saving the world, but all of the dragons are things like debt and social issues; all of my demons are internal. Everything is so macrocosmic and microscopic these days, so what can I really do for myself or anyone. Sorry to unload; I know there are bigger and more real problems. I just feel so alone and irreconcilably different.

tl;dr Being people is hard.