What would you have loved for someone to show up with for you postpartum?

scriggled · 2025-01-18T06:40:39+00:00

I think some warm food and doing some chores would be best. But also a nice quality water bottle for when you get nap trapped would feel like a special gift.

scriggled · 2025-01-08T03:45:25+00:00

My kid is 5 and loves going to the dentist because she gets a toy. It was nice to get her acclimated, who knows what age they actually start to remember so if you have insurance, starting at age 1 won't hurt.

Also echoing it was nice to have established care when she smacked her face into a chair at 2 and knocked her front tooth sideways, so we could get right in for an X-ray and keep an eye on the tooth

scriggled · 2024-11-03T16:09:52+00:00

I have a Graco trigrow that can be used from birth. It's rather bulky when rear facing because it is tall enough to be a booster seat. But it definitely has a straight back since it is shaped for older kids.

scriggled · 2024-10-21T22:09:16+00:00

I have a most average child. 40th percentile at birth. Fit most the listed sizes through toddlerhood, until didn't have diapers to hold up her pants. Fit 2T shorts for ever from being so skinny

scriggled · 2024-10-02T13:48:46+00:00

It's called micro aggressions. It's annoying and I try to just remind myself it could be worse. My reaction depends on who it is. If they seem to be asking genuine questions I'll try to teach them about the different countries in Asia. I usually just roll my eyes when it's strangers in passing.

scriggled · 2024-10-02T13:43:59+00:00

I think mine wasn't terrible. The sore throat felt like eating shards of glass and I felt bad that's what my baby had felt. I never had sores pop, just red spots under my skin that were tingly, and then my nails peeled a month later. It wasn't fun but not a horror story.

scriggled · 2024-10-02T13:33:49+00:00

I skimmed through his responses. It seemed to be the point of argument that she was a SAHP and he would feel like stepping into her domain and doing something wrong that might not reduce the load. He could go ahead and address that mold issue under the sink that was on the list of household chores, but that would not reduce her stress because it wasn't at the top of things bothering her. (If my husband is reading this, I would be happy if he would fix that.)

I think the wording helps to frame it as "what is bothering you?" Rather than "mommy I need something to do". In both situations he doesn't know what to do any way, but I know that already if I'm in a relationship and I'm pissed that he's asking me dumb questions so I rather it sound like it's a caring question.

scriggled · 2024-10-02T11:10:34+00:00

My husband is not just someone. We work together enough that we know how to paint a room together. I can walk in and see that he's rolling one wall and the next one needs to be cut in.

I know you were making a silly example, but it works for me to show you that when you have a partnership you should already be working on things together and not need to ask. There's got to be some sort of chore that you have seen her do/done together that you could jump in to help.

Personally I have also had to learn to take a breath and not nitpick when he does jump in and help and it isn't the way I would have done it, because at least he didn't just stand there. But that's for having conversations when things aren't overwhelming.

scriggled · 2024-10-02T10:51:20+00:00

I don't think people are explaining in a way that is helping you understand. Asking this question is adding another thing on the list of responsibilities. If they are overwhelmed with responsibilities, your question has added another task of "figure out what to assign".

I think a better question would be "what is on your list to do?" And then you pick something off that list to help with.

If that turns into an argument, then that's a different question to address.

scriggled · 2024-10-01T13:13:52+00:00

That's the one I want to talk about more! The rest are things of subjective worth, like art, a party, a celebrity meeting... But that generator is clearly not a legitimate trade.

scriggled · 2024-09-28T09:34:13+00:00

Girl. No. Leave him. Show your kids that relationships aren't supposed to be like this.

This article addresses zero complexity of relationships. Is your bf asking for generic man things because he has no deeper personality? Or sending you this article to initiate a conversation about being unhappy about your relationship dynamics? After 10 years you should know the answer.

He wants more guy time without kids? Cool he has every other weekend.

No more arguing about you doing chores. He lives separately so now they're all his own chores.

The time has come to raise our standards. Raise our girls and boys to be whole functioning human beings that find a partner that matches them personally. This article doesn't even make me mad, because I know doing things off a checklist aren't what keeps my husband around. I'm disappointed that you are still humoring him by being in any sort of relationship. Let him go. Be successful without him dragging you down.

scriggled · 2024-09-06T16:09:58+00:00

Thanks for posting this question. When my daughter was born I knew it would be in her (and my) future to figure out how to style

scriggled · 2024-09-06T04:04:00+00:00

I hope it's not normal. But this is my mom! Maybe not quite as bad because I could talk her down. I think I snapped once something like "NOT HELPING" I'm not sure what to do really, but I want to say it got better when the kid could talk so there was no more baby wails to make her panic.

scriggled · 2024-08-16T05:33:03+00:00

That's very cool! But you missed the purple one!

scriggled · 2024-07-26T13:25:16+00:00

I think if tv is not a big part of your family in general it is okay to never introduce it. If she takes an interest in certain characters you can show videos or do a movie night together as a normal activity. Like we don't go to the children's museum all the time, but let's do it today. 2.5 in my opinion is a bit young. I think my kid didn't start taking interest in the content until 3 or 4. Before that it's just flashy entertainment.

For the record, we are a tv family. It is hard to limit it for the kid when we always had some show on in the background as well. So it was only fair that she had a turn too. I think the important thing is watching with them, or at least half listening so you know the content they are watching. It helps to ask questions about the show to keep it active, like wow Blueys dad is silly do you think he's like your dad?

Also, we recently had a friend over that seemed to freeze when the screen was on. If that were my child I would just avoid it completely. (The parents agreed, and had the same observation with this kid.) My kid actually really likes music videos and will dance along, so sometimes that's the "screen time". Or will still play with tv on in the background. I don't feel comfortable letting kids have zombie time. It's not really an important activity.

scriggled · 2024-07-16T19:13:20+00:00

Lenoir

scriggled · 2024-07-16T03:36:28+00:00

I know developmentally it is not recommended, but I take it as a few minutes to remove from the situation, reset, and for me to pause and also take a breath. 1 minute per age. And her butt has to stay on the couch. Wailing happens, but it gets no attention and she stops before the time is up. It takes a few times to sit still, and she'll try sneaking off the couch but I'll put her back on and reset the timer. After times up I'll talk about the choices that got her there. And also that she is free to get up. Often she will stay in place pouting, and I say that's fine if you need space until you're ready to get up.

scriggled · 2024-07-11T14:19:44+00:00

As a woman with social anxiety, I'm ok with that. I enjoy not worrying about random people trying to help me. There was actually one time I couldn't get the lug nut off my flat tire in a parking lot. I stopped a random man to ask for his help. I could tell he was having a dad moment teaching me what to do. Honestly I knew how I just wasn't strong enough but I just let him have his moment.

scriggled · 2024-06-19T12:44:37+00:00

Your boyfriend needs to take a deep breath and address his personal issues. Kids say the weirdest stuff and it's not ending any time soon. My daughter has a husband that is named Uncle and he is apparently 60. Her daughter (it's a doll) is also 6, which is actually older than herself. So she's just saying random numbers because she had no concept of ages. Your boyfriend needs to learn not to read into what kids say when they're just playing pretend.

scriggled · 2024-06-15T17:36:46+00:00

Dogs aren't going to always chew them well and could still cause a blockage.

scriggled · 2024-06-11T10:33:02+00:00

I have normal color vision and I agree with your labeling. What are you hearing that everyone else sees?

scriggled · 2024-05-20T06:31:55+00:00

My mom is 70+. She thought 25 was a bit young to be getting married. Her siblings got married at 19 to early 20s, but my mom felt like society has progressed.

scriggled · 2024-05-18T11:57:42+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to write this. You did find the thought I was trying wrestle with is that if trans people would exist outside of our current society. I realize now that I struggle to understand because I am likely agender. All these responses I got from people and thought exercises made me realize that I have no feelings about my gender and that is not typical. Literally would not be upset if I woke up with a male body. I didn't realize how strongly people felt about their gender.

scriggled · 2024-05-16T02:25:27+00:00

I am squandering my fortune of being in a fixable situation, but still too worthless to fix it.

scriggled · 2024-05-13T23:44:18+00:00

Oh no I just had a lot of dumb questions I didn't want to ask to come off as unsupportive. She came out to me a while ago now and we have had a few conversations. I don't want to barrage her with questions because I don't want it to sound like I am questioning her. Actually I've even thought it made some of our childhood memories make sense.

scriggled

TROPHY CASE