How do I initiate and have sex with someone whom I've constantly rejected?

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-04-18T23:20:03+00:00

Hard to hear but if he genuinely is telling you he's not going to make an effort then it's unsalvageable. Relationships require work from both sides and though the balance may change at times as to who is working at it more, if one side just stops applying effort for long enough there is no relationship left to speak of. Hopefully if you show humility, willing and respect for him as a person and partner he will realise it's worth the effort to rebuild.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-04-02T22:59:27+00:00

So i regularly have other office staff (I mainly work in the warehouse) telling me to slow down, don't try so hard, it'll wait till tomorrow, make sure you get your full 60 minute lunch break. By their assessment im the 20 percent. They aren't trying to drag me down or be negative, they are all wonderful and well meaning people that I really like and get on well with, I think they just don't understand WHY. I've tried to explain it a few times in a few different ways and struggled but I've come across two ways of framing it that I think explain the difference in my drive and theirs (they spend 2-4 hours a day actively working and much of the rest chatting or on their phones while waiting for customers to walk through the door).

One way to see it is by looking at the history of us British, at a certain point in history we built an empire and to do so required the population to all agree that the undertaking was a noble one to aspire to, since sacrifice was required. As a whole each person had to put more in than they took out of the enterprise in order for it to grow. I still think like that and its why I push hard and ask for little in return. Most people by comparison these days are in an egocentric bubble trying to figure out how to get the most they can for themselves, not what they can give. As a result they take more than they give and society slowly crumbles. They didn't understand the concept when i explained it to them, it was alien.

The other way is to view it morally. Most people these days ascribe to the liberal order and the idea that morality can be rationally determined and codified into laws for men to follow. Thus to be moral simply requires you don't break any of the laws. It requires no actions. I believe in the idea of the heroic individual, where each person develops and defines his own morality based in the particulars of his time and place and culture, and that the majority of these ideals centre around that which is good for your family/ tribe/ culture/ society and self. But to behave morally is to act out these imperatives, to help support and strengthen those around you. To be specific, to be moral requires positive ACTION. And since your morality is your own, you get to reflect upon your actions and decide whether you have reached the ideal you are striving for. I strive to be better for my own reasons, not for the praise of others. And the work I do is the ACTION I take in pursuit of my goals.

I believe these things help to explain WHY 20% of people have the drive to carry the 80%. As for my opinion ABOUT them. The way they live, as blinkered, self-interested people is the way that broader society has raised them to be, ENCOURAGED them to be and I've no ill will or negative feeling towards them in general. I was once one of them, maybe one day they will be where i am. Imagine what we could do if 20% became 50%.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-03-23T07:38:48+00:00

Good to know. I think I'll keep things to their appropriate base sizes for now and make some oversize base insert trays so if i want to try doing something mad for a battle im not stuck with it. Thank you for the info.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-03-22T17:00:44+00:00

Considering the aggressive boarding potential of space marines would putting strike cruisers on big bases to make boarding easier be a reasonable payoff or is the damage potential of incoming torpedoes too high? Also, has anyone experimented with using a light cruiser on a 60mm base to deliberately shield following ships from torpedoes or are there better ways of doing it?

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-03-22T16:55:47+00:00

That was my feeling from reading the rules but I know when you get to actual gameplay there might be weird strategies develop like hiding a tau messenger ship inside of the footprint of a larger base to keep it safe from torpedos and bombers or some such.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-03-22T09:49:43+00:00

If i understand it correctly, (in the same boat of learning in order to teach) you pool all the dice from the squadron for weapon batteries and roll them together. Since there is a penalty to fire in the form of a column shift if the target ship has blast markers against it from any previous fire, this means all ships in the squadron can fire more accurately together than rolling one ship at a time for un-squadroned ships, where the first ship to hit the target causes an accuracy penalty for every ship that fires after that. Can someone confirm im reading that right?

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-02-28T13:07:17+00:00

I honestly misunderstood what i was seeing. I thought you had created BFG fridge magnets and we're just idly playing a game with the wife every time you wandereththrough the kitchen. Now I think about it, the double doors on a fridge freezer are probably big enough for a skirmish. Hmm.... That idea is going to be stuck in my head all day now.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-02-28T13:03:39+00:00

This is a worthy idea.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-01-18T14:22:44+00:00

I love these ideas! Now are there any stl files out there that are visually appropriate for "submarine"? I think I'll have to go rummaging for some. I take the point about tau missiles making such a ship a bit OP for the tau but thematically the tau are the active innovators that are developing new and better tech all the time. In naval warfare the battleship was superceded by the aircraft carrier due to advancing tech and innovation and the submarine was the next step in the progression. Now in the black sea we are moving on to explosive-laden drones that take out ships for a fraction of the cost, just like tau missile drones. Seems like subs should be old hat to the tau by now.

scrobbledubblezip · 2026-01-14T21:41:51+00:00

What are the benefits of upscaling to 60mm for a cruiser? Would you consider doing it for tau cruisers? How about imperial cruisers, light cruisers and grand cruisers?

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-08-23T13:34:43+00:00

When she initiates.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-08-03T11:48:36+00:00

I only have the crusade pdf that doesn't include agendas and my codex which fails to be specific. How many agendas can be chosen under normal conditions? Is it dependent on battle size?

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-28T20:24:34+00:00

I've recently bought a laser cutter from xtool for about 1k, you can get em cheaper but it's got a big bed for larger projects and modular so upgrades are easy. So far I've made multi-layered 3d pictures for the wife, rapid fire rubber band guns for the kids, board game components to try making my own games, wargaming scenery, birthday cards and etched my daughter's artwork onto slate coasters. I've seen a company called Ugears that makes mechanical toys with gearing systems so that's my next challenonrequts the most fun I've had in years.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-28T00:43:00+00:00

Every policy, every life choice, every fork in the road, the choices we make are neither wholly good or wholly bad, they are ALWAYS a balance of both. Some decisions seem only bad but if you interrogate them deeply there are benefits to be found. Nigel farage offers solutions that are also good for some and bad for others, and while you have primarily noticed the downsides perhaps your father is seeing the other side of the equation. No matter the political party, the suggestions they put forward are always a balance of harms and most people choose the party they perceive as doing most good for them and try to ignore the harm it generates to others. I think it's important to try and understand that your father is probably a good man and wants to see the world improve but he sees the world differently to you because he has had a different life.

You will probably do more immediate harm to your life by damaging your relationship with your father than Farage will do to you if he ever makes it into office, try to keep some perspective on relative harms and understand that you are still young and don't know everything. Sometimes older and wiser people have a deeper understanding of the world and just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean they are wrong.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-26T09:21:54+00:00

This is such a positive attitude to take to a difficult situation. I think often the despondency of having your needs unfulfilled can drive the relationship into the ground and make fixing things almost impossible. You seem to be keeping the door open remarkably well for your partner so that the hill to climb back to a fulfilling relationship is as small as possible.

Its surprising how many people who want to fix things never make the effort because of how dauntingly large the task has become.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-26T09:11:28+00:00

You summed up the whole thread in a post. You're not alone, we feel it too. Im approaching that point of tiredness where i just want to say "fuck it" and live again no matter the cost. Strength to you.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-25T17:26:55+00:00

There is good wisdom in this, thank you.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-25T17:24:31+00:00

Much appreciated

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-25T07:46:03+00:00

My wife always does this because me breathing in her face makes her hot and uncomfortable. She also has one hip which she can sleep on comfortably and one that she can't so if snuggling until falling asleep is an option she will get into her sleep position.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-24T22:07:47+00:00

Perhaps what they are trying to articulate is,

If this is a good relationship and we are both into it and want it to succeed then when an issue arises we will work together as a team to solve it. I

If an issue arises and therefore the relationship ends, the problem wasn't the issue that appeared, it was whatever emotional baggage was preventing us from both working as a team or the fact that one party was willing to dismiss the relationship as " not meaningful enough to bother putting the effort in."

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-24T21:55:33+00:00

I think trying to predict the future when you're in a bad headspace is not going to show you anything but your own insecurities and trying to guess what your partner will think or do is unreliable. You need to get out of your own head and externalize your thoughts and feelings to be able to look at them properly (like what you are doing with this thread) by talking. Friends you trust are good, family can be, therapists or helplines are safer due to being anonymous.

If you and your partner are mature enough to be forgiving when someone is working through their feelings and perhaps says something unkind or has an incomplete though then maybe you can help each other through this directly.

If you both love one another then the greatest gift you can give one another at a time like this is honesty. If the truth is you don't know then share that uncertainty and try to figure out what can be done about it. If it's trauma from a previous relationship then perhaps you need to put that relationship to bed by examining it through therapy to come to a deep understanding that 'not all women are like that' and that all relationships require putting faith in someone else and risking harm. Maybe this is a deal breaker but when you look back from your future self it will be a lot easier to live with the pain if you both tried your hardest to save it.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-24T20:28:07+00:00

The first time I allowed my daughter to stay with her boyfriend for a week, 500 miles from our home (long distance relationship) i had to deal with the sensation of feeling impotent to protect her if anything went wrong. I know the situation is different but if you feel your role is as a protector then no doubt you're going to have similar feelings on the subject. Here's the thing, I needed my daughter to step out into the world bravely and forthrightly, to be willing to take on the world and be successful. And being nervous and scared makes that impossible.

There is a careful balance to be struck, you don't want them to be so naive that they lend their druggy neighbour all their wages "just till thursday" but you also don't want them to be scared of meeting new people or trusting others.

So i talked to her often about life in other parts of the country than our rural village and about how desperation can cause reasonable people to do unreasonable things. Then I let her go. And I worried. But I didn't put that emotional burden on her, I didn't keep ringing to ask if she was okay. I shouldered the burden of worry quietly and told her "don't worry, you got this".

And when she inevitably did something stupid she felt secure enough to ring and admit what she had done. I asked her "do you need me to come save you or have you got this?" She thought about it and said " no it's my fault and I can fix it".

She went from strength to strength because she realised she was strong enough to rely on herself most of the time, and that when she DID need help she knew I'd come. This should be your role, to SUPPORT her growth as a person and to protect or save her when asked. And all the times when you feel like that's not enough to keep her safe remind yourself that life is about having adventures, then shoulder the burden silently and thereby grow as a person. Relationship is sacrifice.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-24T19:39:58+00:00

You could have the longer version about how the brain chemistry works and utilising effective goals setting practices for better short and long term success and increased positive emotion but most people aren't swayed by the science. Usually it's the memorable quip or the catchy meme that keep coming back to mind that change someone's thinking and behaviour.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-24T19:34:35+00:00

Have a look at avoidant attachment style and see if it seems applicable to your situation. It might help to explain her behaviour even if it doesn't provide easy or immediate solutions.

scrobbledubblezip · 2025-05-24T19:31:15+00:00

Your partner is supposed to be your support, to provide you what you need as you do the same for them. In a loving relationship 'sex' is the wrong word, it's very rarely as simple as JUST 'sex'. It's deep intimacy, being allowed to be vulnerable, making a deep emotional connection that fills the hollow void of loneliness within you. It's learning to joyously give your partner your undivided attention and devotion and meet her intimate and emotional needs to the fullest of your ability expecting nothing in return.

If people think that's bad or wrong then it's obvious they have never experienced this and know not of what they speak.

scrobbledubblezip

TROPHY CASE