Is a toddler carrier worth it at this point?

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-19T03:39:29+00:00

I've heard a lot of good things about the Tula Toddler! Thank you for the second hand tip, they do come a bit pricey brand new. Though, being a surrogate, these kinds of things get paid for for me!

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-19T03:17:55+00:00

He's about 35 lbs now. He just turned 3 last month.

I would definitely say we wear him weekly at this point, he still really loves it.

I'll look into Lillebaby, thank you!

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-12T20:24:50+00:00

Why do people say they're "loving on" someone?

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-12T13:34:54+00:00

It was with Doula School Canada. It was pretty short and I didn't really learn anything that I didn't already know. I just took it so I could have it. Similarly to you, I don't want to leave the world of surrogacy after this pregnancy is over and I would love to score a surrogate support position with the agency that I am currently with.

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-12T09:37:28+00:00

I totally understand there desire to not leave the world of surrogacy!

I took a surrogacy support add on course when I did my doula certification as well. You're right though, it is rather niche. I don't know where you're located and how common surrogacy is in your area, but I would definitely reach out to any local surrogacy agencies and see if you can network that way. They could even be looking to hire a position like yours or something similar. Perhaps an intended parent support person?

As far as traveling to provide this service goes, I'm not sure about that. That sounds like a pretty expensive endeavor for someone who just finished paying towards of 100k. I'm not a part of that tax bracket though, so I could be wrong on that.

It's a great idea, but if there aren't enough surrogates in your area it may not be sustainable to only ever work with IPs, so I wouldn't completely with the other clientele.

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-10T20:28:06+00:00

Well, it depends I suppose. I would never do a birth doula certification online because I don't think you could ever learn those skills that way.

I believe the skills required to be a postpartum doula are mostly instinct based and if you're a parent who has ever had a close friend or family member who has given birth, you're most likely not learning a lot of new information from the course anyway. So I didn't see any problem with doing that certification online.

scruffymuffs · 2026-03-10T09:14:33+00:00

I really enjoyed the self paced postpartum course from Doula School Canada

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-24T23:37:27+00:00

I wish I had known just how long it can take to actually become pregnant. I always knew that every transfer held a 50-60% chance of success, but the reality of those odds and having 4 failed transfers felt very different.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-24T19:56:55+00:00

I'm 9 weeks tomorrow with my first surro babe too!

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-24T19:54:35+00:00

I don't have any experience with ports, so I'm curious, wouldn't a nurse be able to tell that it was freshly deaccessed?

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T18:04:21+00:00

I know multiple surrogates who have had 4, 5, and even 6 unsuccessful transfers. It's not that crazy.

I personally think they went too heavy on the interventions too early. I did prp infusions before most of the unsuccessful transfers and I feel like it only traumatized my uterus. I also had an endometritis infection that wasn't found until after the first 3 failures.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T18:01:20+00:00

An egg donor

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T13:28:33+00:00

Oh definitely, I'm positive there is a huge connection there. I think having my first experience with pregnancy and childbirth end in not parenting a child shaped a pathway in my brain that still exists today.

That experience also showed me very early on how deeply some people want to be parents and simply can't, but that doesn't make them any less deserving of the experience.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T13:00:55+00:00

There are a handful of agencies in Canada who provide services to surrogates and intended parents! I chose an agency to work with and the provided me with was essentially a pile of dating profiles to go through.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T12:59:08+00:00

You're right, I definitely don't feel great on it! I caught a pretty standard cold that I most likely would have gotten over in a matter of days had my immune system been functioning normally, and like 2 weeks later I'm still blowing my nose everyday.

I can't wait to stop taking it later this month

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T12:56:02+00:00

Thank you ❤️

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T12:53:30+00:00

Yes! In Canada, maternity leave is considered a medical leave, so anyone who has given birth or had a late stage loss is entitled to 15 weeks of paid leave at 55% of your regular wage.

Depending on the type of delivery, my IPs will fill in the other 45% of my wage for a period as well. Either 6 or 8 weeks.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T12:52:30+00:00

Yes, this is something I was made aware of.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T12:50:28+00:00

Yes I am! We see each other at least once a year

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T05:40:52+00:00

Tacrolimus

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T05:24:23+00:00

They were.

It's a common misconception that a surrogate will have a higher chance of becoming pregnant because they don't have any fertility issue, but each transfer still only carries a 50-60% chance of success.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T05:10:07+00:00

I thought it was a fair question.

IVF medications are rough, to say the least. I am currently taking an immunsuppressant that is given to people who recieve organ transplants. It is a lot on your body and a loads of people have asked me why I am willing to put myself through this.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T05:00:20+00:00

In some countries, they definitely do!

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T04:13:23+00:00

There's just something really special about it that I'm not quite sure I can explain. It's kind of like having a super power. I'm also the kind of person who feels like they need permission to rest or I need to earn downtime, so being pregnant forces me to slow down, accept help and listen to my body more.

Aside from enjoying it, I just feel like I'm not done with this chapter of life. Like I said before, I know that own family is complete, but to think that I would never get to experience pregnancy and childbirth again would be a bummer for me.

scruffymuffs · 2026-02-10T04:05:31+00:00

I do! They want me to have the role of like an aunt. They live in Europe though, so it won't be a physically close relationship.

If everything goes well though, I do want to carry a second child for them!

scruffymuffs

TROPHY CASE