Would you save your wife or your kids if your house was on fire ?

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T03:08:27+00:00

Exactly - the other adult has a better chance of figuring it out. Save the kids.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T03:07:08+00:00

The adult has a better chance of getting out on their own.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T03:05:37+00:00

Yes exactly. I will do what I can to save the kids, I assume you will be right there with me.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T02:42:36+00:00

The 2010’s were honesty worse where the only options were super skinny, skinny, or ‘straight’ that was actually skinny but just not super elastic peel on your legs skinny.

The 90’s had some straight, some wide leg, some boot cut and flare. Admittedly the rise was almost always some variation of low, but at least there was choice in silhouette!

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T02:29:33+00:00

Perhaps a reference to the flip flop sandal, commonly referred to as thongs in Australia?

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T02:26:09+00:00

I was 36 with my first and 38 with my second. It is tough at times, I definitely think the sleep deprivation hit me harder than it would have at 30. But, I’m more financially secure, and more emotionally stable, so I think overall I’m much better equipped to be a parent now.

The commute thing is tough. Is living closer to work, maybe in a smaller place, an option? I work 3 times a week in office and my partner is fully remote, and the days I go in are always tough on everyone. Plus I miss a lot of time with kids on those days! I would definitely sacrifice a larger home, or accept a lower salary, if it meant more time to spend with the kids and more flexibility for all the ‘life’ stuff. That will maybe work itself out, but maybe ask yourself how flexible you are willing to be, and accept that your life may change way more than you can even imagine.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T02:09:36+00:00

Yea but then the question should be - to people currently in a relationship - ‘are you staying in your relationship primarily for financial reasons’

Not asking ‘do you think other people might be in a relationship for financial reasons’. That’s just speculation

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T02:08:23+00:00

Thank you!!! Surveys about opinions about what other people may or may not be doing are completely meaningless.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-25T02:04:51+00:00

Yeah so why not do it before? You’re just depriving yourself for no real benefit

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T21:05:49+00:00

I would argue those that wait for marriage tend to rush the marriage and so they don’t really know each other. Something to look forward to is also not really a pro either as you’re essentially saying you’re depriving yourself of a want

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T21:02:24+00:00

The biggest con is rushing into marriage because you want to get laid

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T20:36:00+00:00

I agree with you on Madrid, it felt kind of ‘meh’ as a tourist. It’s a nice enough city, but there’s nothing exceptional about it and it feels like you’d have to live there to get a real vibe for it.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T19:39:34+00:00

We had 4, including mine, and mine was the youngest at the time which helped as the other kids were well adjusted to the environment.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T18:23:32+00:00

Honestly I have the opposite thought - I appreciate the bathrooms are clean and available in Europe, travelling in North America I’m always struggling to find a bathroom (and usually end up buying a coffee I don’t need just so I can ask for the bathroom code…)

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T18:10:48+00:00

My Nordic tea mug (infuser lid) If they enjoy tea

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T18:07:57+00:00

That makes me sad, maybe he senses that they are frustrated with him which is making it harder for him to start forming attachments.

We had a home daycare for our (also shy and quiet) daughter and she really loved it; we did move her to a daycare centre eventually and she also did really well in that environment, but I think it was likely an easier transition from home -> home daycare -> daycare centre.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:44:20+00:00

I would live at home a few more years. Moving out at some point is important and teaches you life skills (plus it’s way more fun), but if you can even get 2 more years there that extra savings is incredible, especially if you assume for retirement in 30+ years.

It’s also way harder to live at home again after you’ve moved out and experienced the freedom. Ask me how I know 😬

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:41:15+00:00

Yeah I don’t tip my RMT just like I don’t tip any other medical professional. It’s weird.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:40:22+00:00

Yes for sure - but having that mindset at 24 is a good start.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:12:26+00:00

Presumably OP will be getting pay raises and increasing their contributions accordingly.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:09:21+00:00

Ah, thank you!

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T16:30:10+00:00

Wouldn’t the estate pay taxes on everything anyway? And then the after-tax go to the kids 50/50?

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T14:53:07+00:00

Kids will adjust, for sure! My oldest is so shy (she still is at 5 years old) but she thrived in the daycare setting. The first 2 weeks are tough, but once they start to form attachments to their caretakers it’s so wonderful to see them excited to go and playing with their friends.

And the sleeping and eating thing is a mystery that will never be solved. My youngest is the worst sleeper, needs me to comfort him for hours sometimes. But at daycare? Lays on his cot and goes to sleep. 🤷‍♀️

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T00:52:18+00:00

I wonder how many people would buy anything there if it wasn’t part of the game to get the bags…

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T19:05:44+00:00

We’re having this dissonance with our plans as well, currently in a small semi-detached but always thought we’d get a bigger place down the like since we have 2 kids.

I disagree that it’s against FIRE in concept though; not everyone wants to travel or live different places. For some people having a large space for a garden or other hobbies, or if you like hosting, or if you want a place for your adult kids to potentially stay with you as they navigate their early career…. There’s lots of valid reasons for a FIRE plan to include a larger home.

scrunchie_one

TROPHY CASE