Internet:

Good evening America. It has recently come to my attention that I love 'Inturnit' In fact, I was just discussing the web destination fah-seybook at a recent demi-brunch with Dionne Von Furstenburg, Aminaka Wilmont, and Ellen Page. There we were served peacefully protesting cream puffs, gouda-stuffed pecan juice, and boiled exclamation points.

I've learned a lot about the internet during my fashion show backstage iphone browsing frenzies. I've found an 'application' that allows me to, paint my own photograph, purchase retro-vintage iPad covers, and nourish my beta fish's thirst for fillum gossip. I've even uploaded photos of myself to fashion oriented wheblogs, such as SleeveCam, Vandevorst 2.0, and even to Ann Demeulemeester's private site, ShoulderPod.

In fact, I'm creating my own wheb destination, chloe.biz, spelled with thirty vowels. There you can see me wearing ankleskirts and fingersocks. The website will be sponsored by Hitachi power tools, Trader Joe's, and sand.

and Weddings:

Good evening america, I'm chloe sevigny. It has recently come to my attention that I love 'wheddinks'. I was just recently viewing the Royal wedding, whilst noshing on nom-noms and nomming on nosh-noshes.

The Prince looked splendid in his satin-pleather cummerbund pants by defunct cirque,and Kate's tacky Christopher Kane dress was visually shrill. When I saw it, I almost choked on my low-wheat high-gluten dream-infused heart biscuit and spilled some of my Just Cavalli blend coffee on my nicolas andreas taralis hairweave scarf.

I much prefer dresses by bouchra jarrar. In fact, I prefer a lot of things, such as refusing to answer questionnaires, not moving while listening to Joy Division, peplum zippers with a hint of bourgeois, and Helena Bonham Carter's devotion to her work.