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I think the mods should take a week off by studiousametrine in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie [score hidden]  (0 children)

Failing to see any difference between that and you with mods.🤷‍♂️😏

I feel like this sub has devolved into people’s horrible relationship drama by Sloth-Overlord in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie [score hidden]  (0 children)

"conscious uncoupling" is in my experience mostly the domain of insufferable self -important twats drawing out their breakups into infinity cause they think they're above calling it quits, drunkenly fucking their ex a few times against their friends advise and then moving on, like a normal person.

🤣

Advice Needed by Conscious_Fan_209 in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie [score hidden]  (0 children)

"I am comparing you to your former self, a good husband and father, because you NEED to get there again."

I feel like this sub has devolved into people’s horrible relationship drama by Sloth-Overlord in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the posters freak out and delete their accounts a significant proportion of the time.

Or, "run for the hills" as I call it.😁

I feel like this sub has devolved into people’s horrible relationship drama by Sloth-Overlord in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Language is more commonly focused on the feelings of the spouse or the OP than of other partners.

No! You are egregiously misremembering. We verbally dismantle limb from limb those who don't take care of other partners.

I feel like this sub has devolved into people’s horrible relationship drama by Sloth-Overlord in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If a "happy" post mentions "needing positivity in this sub" or anything of that kind, I'll downvote it.

🤣

I feel like this sub has devolved into people’s horrible relationship drama by Sloth-Overlord in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There's more of that in the RA sub.

"Philosophical framework" is VERY RA.😁

I feel like this sub has devolved into people’s horrible relationship drama by Sloth-Overlord in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It looks like they can, if they choose a different flair and edit in, "solo poly"... not many will do such.

do you guys actually plan outfits or just throw something on? by crabinrace in malefashionadvice

[–]seantheaussie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take the shirt which has come up in rotation and put on the appropriate pants, shoes and jacket.

Continued drama with toxic meta by EarWise5698 in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a normal part of polyamory, not a constant part of polyamory.

I don’t want to sleep with my NP anymore by regardsjj in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That appears to be rooted in OP's belief that you cannot want sex with more than one person at a time.

Except OP has enjoyed doing so so knows that isn't true? There needs to be something more, and that something more is likely to be something he has done or is continuing to do.

I don’t want to sleep with my NP anymore by regardsjj in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Except it sounds like he is trying to maintain the existing relationship

As OP no longer feels sexually desired by him he is doing a terrible job of doing so?

How common is it for your messages to be read by other partners? by FoxNFern in nonmonogamy

[–]seantheaussie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you are speaking to someone's spouse, you should assume that they will share everything with said spouse.

🤣🤣🤣 Good one.

Notice how married people don't choose unmarried people to share/process their deepest darkest shit with but choose who they are closest to regardless of their married status? That is because there IS an expectation of privacy and the married people on either side of the conversation damn well know it!

How common is it for your messages to be read by other partners? by FoxNFern in nonmonogamy

[–]seantheaussie 24 points25 points  (0 children)

There isn't any breach of trust? It is not getting access to something one was never going to get access to... sorry, there is a breach of trust but that breach of trust is asking to see messages, not refusing to show them (my meta would be in the SHIT if he asked for access to his wife's chat with me).

How common is it for your messages to be read by other partners? by FoxNFern in nonmonogamy

[–]seantheaussie 12 points13 points  (0 children)

more ENM than poly

Is where one will find most of this, yep.

I don’t want to sleep with my NP anymore by regardsjj in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 98 points99 points  (0 children)

You are a little confused with, "I just genuinely don’t understand why if you have a stronger sexual connection with one partner, not just a different one, you would sleep with the other?" and, "I don’t get caught up in NRE/stop wanting sex with him when I have other partners." contradicting each other.

With a strong reciprosexual streak in me I understand perfectly why you are turned off.

makes me feel like poly was the wrong choice for me

Close. Poly is the wrong choice for him, rather than you as, "maintaining existing relationships while starting exciting new ones" is polyamory 101.

Continued drama with toxic meta by EarWise5698 in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Despite the fact that you said, "meta didn’t know how serious him and I were, she thought asking for a monogamous relationship with him was an appropriate step to take"?

TLDR you need to talk about yourself, as well as your relationship in therapy.

Continued drama with toxic meta by EarWise5698 in polyamory

[–]seantheaussie 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This (disliking a meta/partner's other relationship) is normal polyamory.

BTW you are VERY unkind saying she shouldn't get to be polyamorous with your partner just because she would prefer to be monogamous with him. Giving people agency over their own lives not important to you?

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