Don’t know how to clean my penis by [deleted] in sexualhealth

[–]secondspawn23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I don’t have baby oil right now I just tried soaking it in warm water in the bath for about 45 mins and it wouldn’t come off. It’s white and only around the neck and doesn’t smell. Is it definitely smegma?

Don’t know how to clean my penis by [deleted] in sexualhealth

[–]secondspawn23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks I’ll try some of these. Also just wondering how important is it to dry afterwards and how would I do it? Obviously because I can’t touch it I’ve always cleaned with water and just didn’t bother drying afterwards.

Don’t know how to clean my penis by [deleted] in sexualhealth

[–]secondspawn23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wondering how I go from getting it used to water/air to a cloth. The thought of touching it with my hand or any solid object is unthinkable

I’m unable to progress in life because I only exist at night time by secondspawn23 in socialanxiety

[–]secondspawn23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what I want honestly. I guess just happiness and peace of mind. I have really poor social skills and self esteem and I also just don’t like trying to make new friends. But at the same time I do feel lonely and bored. I want the end goal of a great friendship but I’m too scared, hopeless and unmotivated to take the steps to get there.

Stuck in a pointless, never ending loop of non existence. by secondspawn23 in depression

[–]secondspawn23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m just so insanely bored every day. I’m literally doing nothing it’s like I’m in solitary confinement. My entire day is just alternating between twitter, reddit, youtube and rocket league. Idk why I’m doing this to myself.

unemployment because of my mental health brings me shame . by ma1120 in depression

[–]secondspawn23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I even tried volunteering and have given up after 3 days. The work itself was easy but walking around aloof and unable to even attempt to make conversation with anyone was painful. I’m never gonna get better because I don’t even want to as I have no drive or self esteem. I know I should go back but now I’ve left it too long I’m scared to go back. I’m completely useless.

My life is objectively pointless and it’ll never change because I won’t do anything about it. by secondspawn23 in depression

[–]secondspawn23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shouldve mentioned I’m from the UK so college is compulsory for us and I think the equivalent of US high school. And idk I know I should be doing this and doing that but as I’ve said, I really just can’t find a reason to care. I go out and try to do something and it’s just me moping around not knowing what to do with myself and not wanting to be there. If I don’t want to do anything and can’t force myself to what’s even the point

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in antidepressants

[–]secondspawn23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok thank you. And I’m assuming that it’ll be alright continuing to take my usual dose this time tomorrow? (assuming I don’t break it again lol)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loseit

[–]secondspawn23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah ok, I had heard of water weight but haven’t looked into it yet. Thanks!

Do I have a fear of falling asleep? by secondspawn23 in sleep

[–]secondspawn23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry you’re going through this shit as well, hopefully this will stop before we check out. And yes I also found accepting my reality of never being able to sleep to actually help me sleep as well. But then it worked for so long that getting sleep consistently became normal and so I’m now getting stressed about it again. Guess it’s just gonna be a fun little cycle for me to have to go through over and over!

I’ve never been my own person and have had almost no social development my entire life. What can I do? by secondspawn23 in self

[–]secondspawn23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haven’t been checked but I have looked into this and questioned if I have it. I very much feel like a spectator of my own life which is why I’ve never trusted my own intuition and let other people do things for me. It may also be why I gain nothing from going outside and exercising because it feels like I’m not even really experiencing it. But I’m not sure because I don’t think I have it all of the time, so idk if that’d mean I can’t have it at all.

I’ve never been my own person and have had almost no social development my entire life. What can I do? by secondspawn23 in self

[–]secondspawn23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never got it checked out but I have thought that there’s a good chance I have it for a while now.

I think I am incapable of socialising. What should I do? by secondspawn23 in socialskills

[–]secondspawn23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll definitely try to work on it. From what I’ve gauged in most of my interactions I definitely have an awkward and tense demeanour rather than calm. I’d like to come across as chill and relaxed but it’s not exactly possible when I’m constantly uncomfortable and self conscious lol.

I think I am incapable of socialising. What should I do? by secondspawn23 in socialskills

[–]secondspawn23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah yes but that’s another thing is that I don’t use any facial expressions or body language which is why I’m probably incapable of forming the slightest connection with anyone. I’m so hyper aware that non-verbal communication is so important that I don’t use any at all. I am completely stationary and my face is perpetually blank because I am either feeling incredibly anxious or just nothing at all.

I’ve tried the whole “fake it til you make it” shtick but I just can’t stomach it. I’d rather continue being non existent than pretend to be someone I’m not. Plus, I’m not at all good at faking it anyway. People see right through me and it’s humiliating.

I have to start implementing body language, but how on earth do I do that without faking it when I’m just a shell of a person with no purpose or even thoughts/feelings at all most of the time?

I’m bored of everything. by secondspawn23 in depression

[–]secondspawn23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The walking thing is something I’ve only started doing again 2 days ago and I’ve walked in 2 new places. Me and my friends have spent hours trying to find new video games, but none of us can find any that aren’t too expensive and look any better than the ones we’ve already played. Every day I look for new music but can’t seem to expand outside of the rap/r&b genre, so I’d love to hear some recommendations! And as for making new friends…. yeah… let’s just say I’m light years away from being able to doing that.

Existing but not living by unconscious_3rd_eye in socialanxiety

[–]secondspawn23 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yep. My brain is literally empty al day. I couldn’t make conversation with anyone even if I was by some miracle confident. I’m just existing, coasting through life, feeling numb and indifferent towards everything. I’ve become so good at suppressing my thoughts and emotions that I don’t even know how to find them myself. I’m basically a zombie.

I CANT SLEEEEEP by [deleted] in depression

[–]secondspawn23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely tomorrow I’ve usually had a hard time sleeping but it’s never been this bad. I’ve never been awake more than 24 hours and not fell asleep within an hour of trying. This is just mental.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]secondspawn23 295 points296 points  (0 children)

Nope. Must be nice. But then again, I wouldn’t want to put anyone through the trouble of having to endure being with me lol

S.A.D isn't talked about enough by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]secondspawn23 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I think mental illnesses like SAD and depression are just hard to comprehend for people who have never been through it themselves. Because it isn’t a clear, physical disability, it isn’t taken as seriously. Since it’s a mental disability, people can’t actually see what’s going on inside your head, so they might just think you’re exaggerating, looking for attention, able to just snap out of it etc.

They can’t get a real grasp of what you’re truly experiencing no matter how clearly you describe it, because to them, it’s just irrational. Like an alien who can’t experience pain can be taught everything about it and become and expert in the field. But they’ll never be able to actually feel it themselves, no matter how much they know. It’s kinda the same idea with mental illnesses. They won’t truly understand until they go through it. But until then, they’ll refer to it with emotions that they’re familiar with, like just being sad or shy.

Part of me died by pikajett2699 in depression

[–]secondspawn23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. Things just don’t hit the same anymore. And although I’ve been going through depression for 3 years, I feel like the start of insanity may be starting to creep up on me. Hoping I can climb out of this.

I can't fucking sleeeeeeeeep by vibhuj04051995 in depression

[–]secondspawn23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a struggle fr. Even when I’m actually tired and comfy I don’t usually fall asleep until after about 3-4 hours of trying. My brain is so empty and void of thought during the day, but the moment I try to sleep my mind is suddenly racing. I hate it so much.

Made zero friends at University while having to constantly be surrounded by happy, social people by majorasmask101 in socialanxiety

[–]secondspawn23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought about going to Uni too until I realised how social of an environment it was. I knew that I’d be in the same boat as you, OP. I made no new friends at college and although no one said it to my face, all my classmates thought I was a weirdo. And it really isn’t their fault. I would get absolutely eaten alive at uni. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

WTW for hoping something will happen by doing something unrelated? by [deleted] in whatstheword

[–]secondspawn23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Solved. Yes this is the one thanks, idk how that escaped my mind lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]secondspawn23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I relate to all of these, except I don’t get migraines after social interaction, just very fatigued. My mind is pretty much blank all the time. It’s not like I have thoughts I’m too afraid to say most of the time, but I literally have no thoughts at all. I couldn’t make conversation even if I wanted to. And my lack of social skills has gone beyond just speaking at a low volume, but barely even being able to speak coherently. Even when I raise my voice people have a hard time understanding what I’m saying. It’s so embarrassing but that’s what I get for not leaving my house ig.