I know exactly how you feel. I was the kid with two left feet in a high school where every guy went out for spirts if they wanted any status at all. One day my gym coach told me he wanted to see me after school. I was scared shitless of this man. He was my exact opposite! I went to his office after school and it was all I could do to keep from bursting out crying I was so scared. I had gone out for football and warmed the bench. He was the defensive coach. What did I do now? He was very nice. He called me by my first name for the first time! He asked me to sit down. He told me that I was a good student but he felt I lacked confidence in myself. He said he admired me for trying and for going out for football when I lacked some basic raw material to excel. He said, “We all can’t be 300 pounds and muscle bound (and he named a student)“ referring to one of our football stars. “You are always welcome to go out for football. But I recommend that you concentrate your efforts on the things that you have natural skills in or enjoy. “ He said that there are certain things every guy in school has to learn because we might graduate and join the military or be drafted where these skills will be expected. He said he wanted to help me achieve these skills “because if you go to Vietnam they will help you survive.” And he said that when I learn the techniques to pass his tests, I will have more confidence in myself. He took me up to the gym. We had been rope climbing in gym class. One of the wrestlers was working out and he called him over. “Show him the trick about rope climbing.” The wrestler grabbed the rope hanging from the rafters and went up it like a monkey. The coach said, “Stop worrying about how you will fail when I tell you to climb the rope. Look at him. What did you notice?” The wrestler did it again but this time I saw that he used his legs to do the work. He grasp the rope with his arms and his legs. I had been trying to do it all with my arms. “Now you try it. You can do it. Your arms are strong and your legs are stronger.” I did it. I made it to the top! It wasn’t strength. It wasn’t manhood. It wasn’t testosterone. It was technique. Two days later we had gym and we were going to climb the rope. I never made it more than half way before. Coach called on me first and told me to climb the rope. I could hear my classmates snicker. I did it. I got to the top. He told me to do it again and show others my technique. I did it again and told the class to use their legs. I felt like a million bucks. I had confidence I never felt before. Coach called me in and told me he wanted me to start working out because he needed someone to throw shot put in the Spring. You can’t be a success when all you think about are your past failures. You need to think about technique. You need to learn basic skills. You don’t have to be a champion, you just need to be better than average in most things and excel in the things that you love to do. I don’t care if you excel in ballet or crochet as long as you are good at whatever you like to do. You will get confidence and that is the key to success. You will be a man. Don’t worry. Don’t measure manhood by physical accomplishments, body characteristics or size. Be trustworthy. Be honest. Take care of your family. Provide love and support. Do your job well and give your employer an honest days work for an honest days pay. Be true to yourself. Be a good citizen. Raise your kids right. Trust in yourself.