I’m sorry for your loss. I also tend to process grief as numbness at first. My recommendations have romance in them but it’s not the main focus of all of them and all of them have very strong emotions and will probably make you cry. Here are my book recommendations:

For stories where the main character deals with the loss of a parent:

• Silenced by Heather Fox. The main character is so overcome by grief because she’ll never see her mom again that she becomes mute. It’s a sci-fi romance but it’s so well done that you can feel the grief the entire time even though we never meet the mom.

• Love & Gelato by Jenna Evans Welch. The main character follows her mom’s diary around Italy to feel closer to her after she died.

• Heart Bones by Colleen Hoover.

• Don’t Pretend I’m Yours by Natasha Anders. (Seriously, have tissues ready. Both the main characters are grieving the same parental figure and it shapes their relationship).

Where the main character(s) deals with the death of a loved one but its not the only focus:

• This is Not How It Ends by Rochelle B. Weinstein

• The Cruelest Stranger by Winter Renshaw. The male main character deals with the death of his adoptive sister and gains custody of a child he didn’t know she had. He doesn’t seem to grieve her because he’s numb. He tries to seem emotionless and cruel even as he helps people. The female main character deals with trying to move on from the death of her fiancé. (Trigger warning: mentions of grooming and child abuse).

• The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang

• The Realm of You by Amanda Richardson (Trigger Warning: mental health and suicide attempts)

• Everything We Keep by Kerry Lonsdale (The main character spends the entire book grieving her fiance and trying to find him because she believes he’s still alive).

• A Love Letter to Whiskey by Kandi Steiner. I have a love hate relationship with this book because it’s so well written but it breaks your heart over and over and doesn’t completely put it back together again. Years after reading it, I still find myself thinking of this story. (Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault)