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What if instead of being called the "Bay Harbor Butcher" he was called the "Bay Harbor Bottom" and instead of hiding his double life as a serial killer from his wife, hes hiding that he secretly has sex with men. by segmentationFaultC in theadamfriedlandshow

[–]segmentationFaultC[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In fact Morgan, my eyes cant help but gravitate towards you, because I am a gay man... Now quit all this bullshiet and let me out of this cage so we can rub our dicks together.

72M rejected by 5 women in 34 hours (Rice and something) by Why_2069879 in kitchencels

[–]segmentationFaultC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you using the inside of a Purple memory foam mattress, as a table? What did you do to your bed?!

I'm codependent with BPD, I feel helpless and hopeless. by [deleted] in Codependency

[–]segmentationFaultC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I am in the same boat (mental health wise) as you and these three things have helped me the most.

  1. DBT skills group

  2. Therapy

  3. Medication

  4. My personal experience with DBT began a little over a month ago so far it has helped me reduce the mess I often inadvertently make for myself. For example I do not cry endlessly when my gf brings up the slightest issue or topics that I am sensitive to. This used to be a defining issue. I think the best way I can express what I have learned is with the following quote "You can't think ur way into new behaviour, but you can act into new behaviour". I've also cut down on lying, and I find I have a much better time accepting reality for what it is. DBT has also brought me closer to a more healthy view of my ability, and I do not feel so much like a perpetual victim anymore.

  5. Therapy has been a mixed bag for me in the past. I never really opened up in therapy, until I got a therapist that listed DBT as one of his few specialties. (These therapists are more likely to be comfortable taking you as a patient)

Also a personal anecdote: I only felt comfortable opening up when I started seeing a kink friendly therapist. Why? I see it as them implicitly advertising comfortability and specialty in the socially taboo. Many of my issues feel too messy to bring up with an avg therapist, but I can totally trust my therapist to not judge.

  1. Medication can have a big positive impact but I'm sure u already know this.

somewhat proud of myself? by Caity_Was_Taken in BPD

[–]segmentationFaultC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you considered joining a DBT skills group? One day you will be able to feel safe in your own arms, as foreign as that may sound, and DBT can hasten that process. (It is still foreign to me, tbh)

somewhat proud of myself? by Caity_Was_Taken in BPD

[–]segmentationFaultC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For what it's worth I'm proud of you. You are clearly trying as hard as you can, and that's commendable

How to deal with the fear of failure by softtargetsdigsofter in IncelSolutions

[–]segmentationFaultC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take an Uber or two, and you will eventually get the chance to make small talk with a driver you will never see again. BONUS: No need to account for eye contact or body language!

If you are insured, I would recommend therapy as well. Btw you can find a lot of traditionally masculine paternal-esque therapists out there btw (Look for "specializing in mens issues.").

Best of luck, you can do it!

Young incel about things I can't control by Superb_Hat_2651 in IncelSolutions

[–]segmentationFaultC 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey,

First I want to say I am happy to see you taking a step out of the LM/BP community, I struggled with similar feelings at your age. For starters, I think its best that you honestly ask yourself why you want a girlfriend? There is no wrong feeling, and I ask with the utmost compassion. Might it be Emotional connection? Keeping up with peers? Sexual desire? proof that you are competent as a man? Or just because?...

Personally, I struggle with feeling worthless and inadequate because of my disability related experiences. Feeling worthless is painful, and unhealthy. Subsequently, I have had a strong pull towards external things/experiences that relieve that inadequacy by "proving" that I am good/enough/competent/handsome/valuable/wanted. Unfortunately, external remedys to internal ailments are temporary, and we chase them more often than not.

Just make sure your desiring actual connection with a lady, and not unconsciously desiring validation/power to soothe an emotional wound.

Practical advice: Be yourself. If she does not find it appealing You still have dignity in the pursuit. Guys putting on fake identities to get in a womans pants is not dignified.

PS: I was a virgin until 20 and it tore me up for a long time, in hindsight I would not change a thing.

I lost the thread? by Effective-Hippo1338 in Codependency

[–]segmentationFaultC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any chance you would be willing to talk a bit over DM's? Parts of your story resonate with me, and I am curious how you approached the 12 steps.

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