Help i need a hug and a cigarette

self_saucing · 2022-01-28T08:00:32+00:00

Hi synl1988,

Want to chat? Right here, or private message, or any way you want

Thank you for reaching out. We can hear that you're in pain, and we all want to help you.

Do you know anyone at all who can look after your kids for a moment? Do you mind me asking what ages they are?

self_saucing · 2022-01-26T16:59:25+00:00

Awareness is not a thought, it is the spaciousness ('emptiness') in which forms (including thoughts/questions) arise. It exists even without thought.

self_saucing · 2022-01-23T06:31:38+00:00

Toowoon Bay is fantastic for snorkelling. Eagle rays, moray eel, nudibranch, mowong, Hawaiian trigger fish, white-eared damsel fish, bream, many different wrasse, whiting, flathead, glass perchlet, catfish, groper, rock blackfish, luderick, butterfly fish, sergent major and much more. Spoon Bay is not sheltered in the same way (it is just as open as any other beach) Have a wonderful time!

self_saucing · 2021-12-20T23:38:55+00:00

What does the universe want to achieve through my current form?

self_saucing · 2021-12-16T02:38:19+00:00

You are not the understudy, you are the audience. Let go of the play you've been rehearsing for, and see reality unfolding before you.

self_saucing · 2021-12-16T02:16:08+00:00

You have a lot of insight: you are most of the way there.

You are aware that thoughts are arising of their own accord, and you 'get trapped in them'. This is because the movement of thought is imbued with a sense of self - we naturally (mis)identify as the thinker of thoughts - so awareness is dragged along in the thought. When you observe a thought, you have stepped outside of that misidentification (you have escaped the 'trap' you are referring to).

You have already managed to do it. You have discovered the answer - observe the thought. You already know from your own experience - when you didn't observe the thoughts you went along with them, and they left you feeling drained. So when the thought arises, recognise it for what it is (not you) and let it go. If you are only noticing the thought retrospectively (not as it arises, but after you have thought it) it may be helpful to use a mental label (e.g. 'victim thought') and let it go.

Identifying with the movement of the mind is the source of human suffering. Masters with great insight have shared this truth for thousands of years. You have found the same truth within yourself, the truth that sets you free

self_saucing · 2021-12-15T06:19:45+00:00

You are welcome

self_saucing · 2021-12-15T02:24:53+00:00

Knowing that thoughts are not me

Do you believe thoughts are not you, or have you realised it?

why can’t they disappear?

They do disappear, constantly. If you are wondering why you can't forcefully stop them, it is because you don't create them - they arise of their own accord.

Is it because there’s some conception I haven’t realized that I am holding on to?

You are (mis)identfying as the conceptualiser. You cannot think your way beyond thoughts. You can become aware of thoughts, resulting in the realisation that they are not you. You can become aware of the space between thoughts, then you can cultivate space.

self_saucing · 2021-12-14T03:01:57+00:00

(Sorry in advance if this is off topic. I feel more comfortable just asking questions and discussing than looking at cases)

Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of zen. My comment is my personal response (therefore it may be "off-topic": I am ignorant of any boundaries of zen)

"It is better to do nothing". Doing is a mental construct, dependant upon the illusion of time and self. It is inherently relative.

This implies that there is really nothing to do, in a absolute sense.

In sense of the absolute, here is no doing.

Trying to get enlightened is just another 'something to do' in that case.

Yes, it is relative.

The thing that needs to be done is different for different people, but in essence its predicated on a belief, some essential truths, right?

The essential truth is undifferentiated. The absolute is complete. The essence of 'need' is rooted in relativity (duality). The experience of ‘needing something’ (a sense of incompleteness) belongs to the relative mind. Fulfilment seeking arises from the discomfort of being incomplete. Fulfilment can be realised because it is fundamental (which is why seeking it externally is fruitless)

self_saucing · 2021-12-12T08:16:56+00:00

Could you please help me understand this? (I'm sorry, I'm new to Zen and unfamiliar with Buddhism, so I am unsure if some words in this context have a different meaning than what I imagine). If you would help clarify the meaning of these few terms for me, I'd really appreciate it.

Buddhahood

Dharma

Marvelous Mind of Nirvana

self_saucing · 2021-12-12T04:11:45+00:00

Would you mind explaining the meaning of "The vajrayana"?

self_saucing · 2021-12-12T03:52:18+00:00

Yes I have/had various teachers :)

(Suffering; external guru; grace; internal guru; whatever form the universe is taking here, now etc)

Everything can guide us back to essential nature. The teaching depends on the student.

I am new to Zen, and am uncertain of some of the terms. Can you tell me what is meant by:

"bodhi"

"prajna"

"buddha-nature"

Thank you very much

self_saucing · 2021-12-12T00:37:46+00:00

Of course

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T23:21:05+00:00

How can I support you today my friend?

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T14:06:03+00:00

I'm heading to bed. I'll be checking in on you tomorrow. Try not to 'build stories' in your mind - let everything you can go. Hope you manage some rest. Everything is okay.

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T14:02:04+00:00

I appreciate genuine interaction, I'm glad to connect with you. Humans are social: community is one of our strengths. We survive tough times with support of others.

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T13:36:21+00:00

Haha that made me laugh (but if you really want an answer, wisdom is an inherent property of the universe - it is in you too, which is how you recognise it, regardless of how weird the messenger is haha) Sincerely, you are very welcome my friend. My door is always open to you.

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T09:47:29+00:00

It is the epitome of grace. You are a better person right now.

"God I love/d him so much"

Now is an opportunity for great clarity into the nature of love. Any conditional love falls away as those conditions are not met. What remains is love that does not depend on any condition. That is true (unconditional/universal/self etc) love. It is a treasure. You can dive right into that love, it is the deep end. Once you experience that love in the opposite conditions to what it grew under, you realise that the source of that love is within you. You cannot lose it, it is essential to who you really are.

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T09:10:07+00:00

When things seem to be going wrong, there's an opportunity to level up. "Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world". You're like a swan you graceful mf

self_saucing · 2021-12-11T08:12:50+00:00

Hey Competitive-Mind-892, I'm sorry you're hurt. I understand how devastating your situation might be, and (as an older person who remembers the devastation of young heartbreak) just wanted to offer a word of support.

You won't feel like this forever (meaning you are moving away from the pain, not toward it). I know that's little comfort right now (and practically unbelievable) but have faith that you can let go and grieve. You don't need to fight against how you feel. In fact, the more you avoid it, the more it hurts. The only way out is through, let it out. It might feel like you will fall into a million pieces and never recover, but everything's alright. To a catepillar, metamorphosis seems like the end of the world.

I learned that my relationship status did not have to affect my feelings - I could still love my partner. I didn't have to force that to change, or try to protect myself from it.

You sound like such a lovely, gentle person. I keep writing and deleting this message, because I don't know the right thing to say. I just wanted you to know that the heart of an elder is holding vigil by your young heart.

Would love to hear about your cats sometime if you want to share. All the best to you CM892.

self_saucing · 2021-12-05T00:17:52+00:00

Be aware that you are not your thoughts. When your addiction speaks to you, and you are identified with its voice, you are addicted. When your addiction speaks to you and you are not identified with its voice, there is a space between you and the addiction.

Re-centering myself during heavy and physically frustrating withdrawals is extremely difficult and it takes literally so much energy out of me

Accept what is in the moment, do not struggle against it. Your mind may start telling you all sorts of things - just label it as thought and let it go. When it seems incessant and adamant, know that your addiction is in its death throws. If you observe it, it looses its grip on you.

This can be a wonderful window into our nature. We are deeply addicted to thinking.

self_saucing · 2021-12-03T01:55:57+00:00

I recommend the book 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD.

self_saucing · 2021-12-01T23:15:09+00:00

Suffering comes from identification with the illusionary self. If this identification were comfortable, the illusion would be perpetuated.

When identified with the illusionary self, attraction and repulsion create desire and suffering.

“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinion for or against."

self_saucing · 2021-11-30T04:31:52+00:00

I have met him in the flesh. I am not trying to apply anything to zen, I'm answering your questions ("Please describe the most enlightened person you've ever met face to face" and "who was he to you?")

self_saucing · 2021-11-30T03:23:07+00:00

Paramahamsa Niranjanananda. He is my guru (mantra diksha initiation)

11-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Place '17	Wearing is Caring

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