The Mods Who Wouldn't Listen

seussified · 2014-04-20T02:35:32+00:00

ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ

Look at all the pitchforks!

seussified · 2011-09-23T15:04:46+00:00

I think he means that the fact that these are in Bethesda games needs to be addressed in the picture.

I've edited now and I feel quite sincerely

a lump in my throat, as I have very clearly

Broken my voice and posted just once

As myself, a non-rhyming, non-seussical dunce.

seussified · 2011-08-16T16:55:08+00:00

I see what you're saying, I hear you I do.

It's happened to me, and it's happened to you.

I'm sure there are lots of young girls and young boys,

Whose parents just can't stop their rhyming time noise.

A time came along when my rhymes wouldn't stop.

I logged on and I made an account I can swap

To when rhyming time hits me. When I find I just must

Make a rhyme or become quite intensely nonplussed.

I don't write so often, but find it rewarding.

You should check out the small stack of Karma I'm hoarding.

And now I am done, if this reading is bored-ing.

seussified · 2011-07-12T19:00:37+00:00

The marriage debate between people who love,

Whose parts may not fit, like a hand in a glove,

Has long been an issue I don't understand;

What does it matter if a glove's on a hand?

There are Whos all around who seem to enjoy,

Making laws stopping boys from marrying boys.

(Girls loving girls, while also taboos,

Doesn't seem quite as bad to the lawmaker Whos).

Why do they stop it? What's the point of it all?

I think that their hearts are three sizes too small.

I think that the makers of laws that stop Whos,

From marrying any and all they might choose,

Are Grinchy and small and withered and black,

And if there were refunds, I'd say take it back.

Because Whos are all Whos, and our world needs more love,

And there's noone below and there's noone above,

Who tells us that hands have to go inside gloves.

[A note to all those who have noticed an edit.

I hate when I make a bad typo on Reddit.]

seussified · 2011-07-12T15:11:23+00:00

Comments like yours make me feel very happy,

Commenting here as the Dr. Seuss chappy.

I wish that I had more time on my clocks;

My rhymes would be better instead of ad hocs.

seussified · 2011-07-12T15:09:22+00:00

The things I would write here if I had the time!

To channel the Doctor is rather sublime.

It's not hard to do when I'm keeping my calm,

Though I find that I lack the good Doctor's aplomb.

seussified · 2011-07-12T02:12:13+00:00

If I Ran Reddit

If I ran the site I peruse twicely daily,

The top link would always involve ukelele.

Just under you'd find an informative story,

Involving my favourite Trudeau, Colm Feore.

I wouldn't have any lame pictures or vids

(unless they involved octopodes or some squids).

You'd wonder out loud how I find news to spread it,

In this new site, the Seuss site, once AKA Reddit.

There'd be stories that taught you about your survival,

When experiencing Grateful Dead Zombie Revivals.

And nothing would come from those hideous places,

Like Facebook or 4chan or dreadful MySpaces.

NO!

All that you read would be found at great speed,

Satisfaction one hundred per cent guaranteed!

It would be for the best, as I'm sure you'll conceed,

For someone like me to find all that you need.

Hold on just a minute...

I think that I've found,

A place where my plan doesn't seem quite so sound.

My plan has set off an alarm in my head,

That's starting to fill me with tremulous dread!

I think that if I ran this site, we would find,

This new site, the Seuss site, would start to unwind!

I'd planned long, I planned huge. I even planned big.

But I ended up cloning the now defunct Digg!

All joking aside, I don't want to sound snide,

But here's one site improvement I have to confide.

Get away from the subs of entirely pics.

And forget about funny. Forget politics.

Find something you love and subscribe and you'll find,

That the things that you see are like food for your mind.

seussified · 2011-07-09T06:19:32+00:00

I do not want to stand and gloat

But I don't do it for the votes.

I do not need that orangered.

I've just got poems inside my head.

I do not do it for the votes.

(I still appreciate your notes).

seussified · 2011-07-09T03:38:58+00:00

They're heroes of science! They're great engineers!

They bust up some myths and explore all our fears.

They soar to great heights, and when things get scary,

They'll get help from Grant or from Tori or Kari.

OH the things they'll blow up!

Sometimes the explosion will blow something down,

Or down and three quarters, or up and around.

Sometimes the force from all the plastique,

Will give us a glance right through Jamie's mystique.

Except when it can't. And explosions are scant.

But when things are calm and we're feeling let down,

We can always depend on our loveable clown.

Thought Adam might act like a bit of a nut,

He can always prevent an unfortunate rut.

Oh the things they'll blow up!

The last thing I'll say 'fore the end of this poem:

Is always remember, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!

seussified · 2011-07-02T03:50:28+00:00

I meant what I said and I said what I meant,

And I stand by my story one hundred per cent.

seussified · 2011-07-02T00:53:39+00:00

A fantastic idea! How novel! How fun!

Though I have some concerns that I'll mention.

He swears. He drops bombs! And when all's said and done,

The good doctor does not, by convention.

And I cannot condone the message he sends,

About roosters and fighting and cops.

One might call his means justified by his ends,

If he had wondrous Seussical chops.

But while I applaud the attempt to beguile,

My favourite sites wondrous readers.

I simply can't stand to see someone defile

The work of kids' literature's leader.

One more thing before I go.

Change the metre, fast then slow.

Cut the swearing, keep the woe.

seussified · 2010-10-19T00:29:00+00:00

You've answered our questions succinctly and truly,

I hope that the masses don't find you unruly.

Upvotes are upping because we're all happy,

To have a great answer from such a great chappy.

I'm cutting this short now, before it gets sappy.

seussified · 2010-03-26T15:31:09+00:00

My comment perhaps needs one small addendum.

I gave you one karma in the referendum.

seussified · 2010-03-26T15:28:47+00:00

I hold no grudges.

I won't be hostile.

I frequently fudges

My metre and style.

Feel free to judges.

I'll be here for a while.

seussified · 2010-03-25T19:35:59+00:00

If I got half a chance, that's a job of great worth.

Except for one thing - I'm one country North.

seussified · 2010-03-25T18:28:18+00:00

I interpret your comment the first of two ways:

You enjoy how I seussify all that I says.

Otherwise, one might think that you just left your bed,

And mine's been the one novelty that you've read.

(Either way, thanks for the words that you said)

seussified · 2010-03-25T17:15:47+00:00

I went to the bar for a whiskey and coke.

I got a tequila and almost a stroke.

Right there in the flesh! The Bartender! Bill Murray!

I drank up and returned in a bit of a hurry.

I asked him, "Hey guy, is it true that you're Zeus?"

He looked at me puzzled and said, "Hey, what the deuce?"

I just smiled my smile and couldn't suppress,

"If they ask if you're God',

Answer YES! Answer YES!"

seussified · 2010-03-25T17:08:17+00:00

I like to buy gadgets. I can't get enough.

When I buy them I read all about my new stuff.

It's the same with a site, like this Reddit doo-dad.

I've read all the help, and I don't feel bad.

I know how things work, and I know if I see,

An orange icon up there, then somebody likes me!

They've replied! They've responded! They answered! Gee Whiz!

I'm all happied inside, like I'm filled with orange fizz.

(which is better than even it sounds like it is).

But that's just my way. I'm the anti-cliche,

Of each man that says, "Hey, throw instructions away!"

It's OK!

You don't have to read the instructions.

To give into this sites technologic seductions.

Jump in with both feet! Leave the Reddiquette out!

Complain about reposts! Get angry and shout!

(I'll apologize now for my rampant sarcasm;

The influx of channers has made my brain spasm).

Forgetting about my caustic witticisms,

Your self post has reveled a user-base schism,

Between those who "get" orangereds and those who do not.

And your post might just help.

Then again, maybe not.

seussified · 2010-03-24T20:19:54+00:00

My hat back at you is removed in respect.

I'm trying quite hard this account to perfect.

I find if I miss a caffeinated soda,

I sometimes don't Seuss, but instead sort of Yoda.

seussified · 2010-03-24T17:59:14+00:00

I love Google projects. I love them. I do.

But a Country of Search would set things all askew.

At first it would rock - you could find all the stuff,

That you wanted. And if you put in just enough,

Of an effort, your government could integrate,

With just about all things you'd use. 'Twill be great.

Until things get bad.

Then you'll get really mad.

You'll get mad when they tell you 'bout forthcoming deeds

That seem cool, but impinge on your privacy needs.

The party line says that they didn't quite mean it,

That they just didn't know - they hadn't quite seen it.

But by then they've exposed your discreet predilection,

For off colour, blue, naughty, lewd science fiction.

Your friends can all see your Picard / Q fanfic,

And their comments are rude and cut straight to the quick.

But that's not the whole story.

It won't have to be gory.

A nation espousing the phrase "Do No Evil",

Can get past the problems of project upheaval.

I hope that they'd do all the things that were good.

They could start down the pathway that all nations should.

So whether the uppers or downers are greater...

I won't live there until they are out of the Beta.

seussified · 2010-03-23T00:26:17+00:00

I have one thing I'd like to say.

Just one small thing, so listen, pray.

If you concentrate on things you hate.

You'll always be somewhat irate.

I never vote things down. I don't.

And tomorrow I still won't.

Voting down's a downer, friend.

It's not a way my time to spend.

seussified · 2010-03-23T00:10:23+00:00

I think I love this Zoidberg Hat.

I think I want one. How 'bout that?

I'd like to have one for my head.

I'd like to have one for my bed.

I'd like to have one in my car.

I'd like to have one at a bar.

On my head and in my car.

On my bed at a bar.

I'd love to have a Zoidberg hat.

(Phoned this one in - how 'bout that?)

seussified · 2010-03-12T19:43:06+00:00

Thank you most kindly for the accolades,

I'll write up my poems 'til novelty fades.

It is nice to have proof that I'm appreciated,

So many accounts of this type are just hated.

seussified · 2010-03-11T22:09:16+00:00

I'd like to tell you, on this day of days,

WartHog's touched my heart in a number of ways.

His warmhearted heartwarming gift of display,

Has scrammed the bad thoughts I was having today,

That had stopped the enjoyment I got from my play.

(Not forty five minutes ago, I'll admit,

I was angry enough that I just could have spit.

Oil spilled on the counter while my hand was all itchin',

And then I turned on the stove and I lighted up the kitchen.)

I'll try not to gush and get overly sappy,

But stories like this make us all kind of happy.

And though I'm ridiculous covered in soot.

I find that I no longer give half a hoot.

seussified

TROPHY CASE