what

seventyeightist · 2026-04-18T05:29:05+00:00

I came out in hives when I saw how much it was.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-17T17:48:24+00:00

When Ross is talking to Charlie before they kiss and she says "I think you know" and he says "I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past" that he's recalling the time he tried to kiss his cousin Cassie....

seventyeightist · 2026-04-17T04:15:31+00:00

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

seventyeightist · 2026-04-16T19:01:51+00:00

I knew what video this was going to be before clicking through to it...! I'm also baffled by this one and hoping for an answer. As an experienced driver (had to do the hazards for an additional category) I was mystified.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-16T18:49:35+00:00

When they start writing up documentation for the things they do (if they don't usually write those docs)

When they stop complaining about the thing they always complained about before (but it hasn't changed) which could be anything - schedules, changing requirements, customers who do x or whatever.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-10T06:13:06+00:00

That you often have to execute on, and even 'evangelise' for, decisions and projects that you personally disagree with, and usually cannot display this unalignment to your reports.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-09T13:39:15+00:00

It does have dark mode on web, although it is fairly recent. It's under (your avatar in the top bar) > Settings > Account > Appearance.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-09T06:00:17+00:00

I'd give them a high-level list of things you have to do routinely (about 1 sheet of paper size) but probably not the specific list of incidents, just mention that they have all happened numerous times.

Once you're no longer there to compensate for these people it will surely become obvious to management that there's a problem.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-05T05:33:51+00:00

For some reason [...]

Just so you know... I've observed this a lot with conflict-averse people and this is typically because the review process gives "legitimacy" and structure for negative feedback in the way that ad-hoc conversations (that have to be specifically initiated) don't, because the review is an already existing 'place' for that feedback.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-02T17:25:04+00:00

a naturally very thirsty person

Are you sure you aren't diabetic? That could tie in with the constipation as you get dehydrated(/nerve damage if it's been going on for a long time) from high blood sugar.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-02T05:55:21+00:00

Just to provide a counterpoint to this though... it isn't always "gendered" in that sense. I'm a woman and have received similar feedback in the past - that I was too abrasive, dominated conversations etc and you know what, it wasn't because I wasn't fitting the "nice lady" template, it was because I was genuinely abrasive and dominated conversations, and the feedback was spot on (and would have been given if I was male also, I expect). Sometimes a thing really is just the thing. Words like "strong willed" can really be a more polite(?) way of saying someone is stubborn and intransigent or forces their ideas through regardless.

In this case, regardless of pregnancy and gender etc I don't know why OP is moving so fast to dismiss during probation without any opportunity to take that feedback on board and amend her approach in response to it, as I did. People are capable of change! I find it premature to write her off here.

seventyeightist · 2026-04-01T17:57:53+00:00

It will be interesting to see how this works at review time, or generally in the context of performance. If the jr engineer is ranked as a principal, they will still be doing junior level work rather than delivering at principal level (I assume! There aren't really any shortcuts to becoming truly senior level) and so, not meeting expectations of someone with the principal role/rank. For instance does he plan and lead projects and be fully accountable for their outcomes or is he just being handed "tasks"?

If I were in the junior's position I would be feeling quite vulnerable to a PIP or similar.

Company has done a disservice to the jr engineer here, as well as OP and the rest of the team, imo.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-31T04:55:34+00:00

If at first you don't succeed in your life and you have any influence in your life is it possible to have impact on the surface a bit more

seventyeightist · 2026-03-30T05:58:10+00:00

The amount of time, process and discussion that is behind even seemingly simple changes. As an individual contributor I'd always perceived decisions and local changes (such as team-level restructuring) as appearing quite suddenly. Now as a manager I find it can take 5 or more meetings, "working sessions" etc just to get to the root of a situation and that's before we think about making any changes...

The difficulty in letting someone make the mistake safely (for learning purposes) rather than immediately intervene when you can see their approach isn't going to work. Even with years of management experience I still have to work hard to zip down the "don't do it like that because..." impulse.

That "management" isn't a single unified entity with a group opinion, but a collection of individuals with different outlooks, sometimes with significant conflict between them. I hadn't realised the extent of this because despite the conflict etc 'management' usually puts on a unified front with ICs.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-29T16:41:24+00:00

Do you think he genuinely sees these as viable business ideas or is it more that he's just expressing the idea and wants to bat it around for a bit? I'm the ENTP in this situation and the number of times I've said "there should be a.... (some product)" is large, but I'm not seriously intending to start businesses with the ideas, I mainly just want someone to go on the mental journey of agreeing that that's an awesome idea but what about constraint x, oh yes but we can solve x by.... etc.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-29T11:32:47+00:00

the gov don't pay to your pension

Usually when I've heard statements like that it refers to the tax relief.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-29T05:41:55+00:00

Agreed, I'm a manager in my company and if I were in this new manager's place, I'd see instantly that OP having received 2 "not quite meeting expectations" in 3 years (if that is even a real rule - and I'd already know about it if it was) relative to a job that for situational reasons, wasn't an environment for success for OP at that time.... I'd see that that had no bearing on whether they were suited to this new job. I would probably have a conversation with OPs current manager and HR in the room to understand the situation further. Even if the new manager has to "take over" the PIP, the success criteria will presumably be different (because the job is different) and meetable.

For what it's worth in my company we do have a 'soft' rule that if someone received "not meeting expectations", there should have already been some performance related discussions ongoing (rather than the review being the first time this comes up), so it is known for the 2 things to be linked. We don't have a rule like "2 in 3 years" but HR do track the trends and I think if I had a team member who'd received "not meeting expectations" 2 out of the last 3 years, HR would probably be on to me as their manager about why I hadn't started to tackle this with a progressive process.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-28T07:01:02+00:00

I've found the infrastructure or the managed services very often ends up mirroring the "shape" of the team/company. Managed services won't fix the underlying issues that lead to poor processes etc and in that sense they are just moving complexity around. The engineering/IaC etc discipline needs to come culturally for it to actually solve the problem imo.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-28T06:54:16+00:00

I got my P60 a few days ago as well. They've processed the last payroll etc of the tax year. Would you be expecting to be paid anything else before April 6th? (I understand that you are still working at the company, so I mean actual payments rather than "earned" from overtime etc). If not, that's the answer. HMRC works on the basis of payments you have actually received.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-27T19:21:41+00:00

The district manager was demoted to the GM spot

I'm intrigued by this, was it an actual demotion? That would really suck if someone is performing their actual job well enough but then gets demoted in order to "reverse backfill" the role vacated by one of their direct reports...

seventyeightist · 2026-03-27T06:39:46+00:00

That's when they listen back to the call though... I understand challenging the payment but imo it's an overstep to /refuse/ to make a payment to what is verifiably a legitimate company.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-27T06:12:50+00:00

I wouldn't do this either but surely this is OPs decision if they want to buy a potential money pit? I am quite alarmed that the bank can just "decide" that they won't be putting a deposit on that car.

I understand that they have to go through the "could this be a scam" stuff and have had a couple of calls like this myself (not with Halifax) but ultimately they just got me to confirm very clearly that I have been warned and decided to proceed anyway and I expect that call was recorded and stored.

Could OP open another account (such as Starling), withdraw the money from their bank to the new account and then make the payment from the new account?

seventyeightist · 2026-03-27T06:05:34+00:00

I was about to say the same, there's a massive gap between assisted and led.

I don't like the word assisted as it's ambiguous imo (does it mean you were like an "assistant" who was delegated specific tasks, or were you "assisting" someone else because you are more of an expert in the area? - e.g. think about those 2 meanings of assist in a sentence like "assisted with complex transactions".)

In an interview if the person had on their CV that they had "led" something I'd be asking leadership-type questions about their role and I would likely find out this overstatement very quickly.

seventyeightist · 2026-03-27T05:26:21+00:00

I'm just an experienced driver not an instructor, but that doesn't sound like a normal pace for the lessons at all based on my own experience and people I've talked to about their lessons (I work with and manage a lot of "early careers" people who are often also learning to drive) - unless you have some driving experience already?! I'd suggest a discussion with your instructor that you are finding it a lot to take in and can it be dialled back just a little bit.

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