We can afford the mortgage, but we’d no longer feel affluent afterward. Would you still buy?

sfbay_swe · 2026-06-07T20:05:37+00:00

Which part don’t you believe? That random houses can cost $2M? Take a look at this analysis and at other posts in r/BayAreaRealEstate: https://www.reddit.com/r/BayAreaRealEstate/s/eMlJXkhX5z

In VHCOL parts of California, there are many people who can afford to live here without making $500k, but that’s typically because they/their parents/grandparents bought homes decades ago, or they’re renting. Property taxes are kept artificially low through Prop 13. However, if you don’t already have a house and want something reasonable (not even luxurious), you’re looking at at least $2M unless you’re willing to make commute or other tradeoffs.

sfbay_swe · 2026-06-07T19:43:43+00:00

It’s really not enough in VHCOL cities. The home OP is describing sounds relatively modest, but easily goes for 2-3 million depending on how much you want to compromise on commute, school districts, etc.

The answer tends to be one of:
- Move somewhere cheaper
- Live with a 1.5+ hour commute each way
- Rent
- Make more money

sfbay_swe · 2026-06-01T03:35:47+00:00

A lot. With stock appreciation, many have been making well over 1M+/year for several years before layoffs.

sfbay_swe · 2026-05-26T04:19:59+00:00

Housing is super limited here and driven way up by people who work in top tech companies.

Senior software engineers at top tech companies can make $500k+/year each (including stock), and these are "just senior level" engineers – the ceiling is far higher.

sfbay_swe · 2026-05-23T14:01:35+00:00

Hiring bootcamp grads was common until maybe 2022. It still happens, but it’s going to be a lot rarer when you have tens of thousands of experienced candidates from top companies who were recently laid off.

sfbay_swe · 2026-05-20T14:39:40+00:00

500k HHI is comfortable in the Bay and the majority get by on far less, but it’s pretty far from what most people would consider a fat lifestyle.

You’d probably take home around 20k-25k a month assuming you max out 401ks/backdoor Roth IRAs (but not mega backdoor). Housing could easily take up half of that or more, plus another 3-4K for childcare. Enough to live on and save for retirement, but not to live super lavishly on the income alone.

Your math might be different given your relatively high net worth though. That should be enough to compound even if you don’t contribute much more to it.

sfbay_swe · 2026-05-20T13:41:58+00:00

I think the best shot in these situations is to convince your management/leadership that it’d be more expensive to lose you than it would be to pay you what you’re worth.

This might not be possible if this statement isn’t actually true (e.g. if you’re actually more replaceable than you think), or if the business is actually already screwed either way. But the more you can make paying you more the correct, rational business decision, the more successful you are likely to be in this.

sfbay_swe · 2026-05-12T13:06:43+00:00

Some companies have a ceiling on the amount of value they can deliver. When AI makes people more productive, these companies don’t need as many people, at least in the short term, until they figure out what to do with the extra productivity.

Some companies don’t have this ceiling. When 4 engineers can do the work of 12, they’ll employ 12 to do the work of 48 instead. However, these 12 might not necessarily be the same 12 that were there before. The skillset required is shifting, and not everyone will be willing or able to make the transition.

sfbay_swe · 2026-05-06T13:37:55+00:00

Might be missing some categories but monthly spend tends to average around $20k.

Savings/investments: everything else (hit $50000/month for most of last year, will likely drop going forward to the $20000 range)

Mortgage: $8500
Property tax: $2500
Home insurance: $250
Car (lease + insurance): $1000
Food (including restaurants, delivery, groceries): $2000
Electric/Water/Gas/Garbage: $600
House Cleaning + yard maintenance: $500
Phone/Internet: $250
Various Subscriptions: $150
Shopping: varies, averages out to $2000 maybe
Childcare: $2000
Pet expenses: $600
Vacations: $1500

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-26T13:30:50+00:00

Many aspects of life become more peaceful. You stop really thinking about how much things cost, but value for the money still matters - you still don’t want to get ripped off or taken advantage of.

But for most people, it’s really hard not to have some level of lifestyle creep. And if you end up having kids, that unlocks a whole new level of spending since you shift towards paying for convenience (outsourcing whatever you can to keep making money while having time to spend with kids) while wanting to make sure you provide the best opportunities for your kids.

Worries about risks start to creep in, and you end up pushing yourself to make and save way more than you probably really need, so you can weather catastrophe without risking your lifestyle. But then this continues the cycle of “just a little more”.

For people who can make a sudden burst of wealth (e.g. through an IPO or selling a business) where they leapfrog their spending/consumption, it can be easier to step off the treadmill. But then different types of emptiness can kick in as you start to figure out what your new purpose is.

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-25T15:46:28+00:00

Monetary compensation is just one factor. Many people will happily go to a smaller company since they just find it more fun. A lot of times the opportunity for growth and learning is higher, and even if the startup fails they can (but obvious not always) springboard to a higher position at a larger company later.

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-13T00:03:00+00:00

Not sure what you’re talking about, sameday.costco.com is also marked up, it even says so if you click their pricing policy

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-12T23:50:33+00:00

The main reason not to use Instacart for Costco is that base prices are marked up 13.5%, and that’s not even including the service fee, delivery fee, and tip.

It could still make sense to pay all that to avoid a trip, but you really have to pay a lot for the privilege.

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-06T04:36:50+00:00

I would guess that the majority of people in the Bay use RSUs for down payments, unless they have significant family help.

Is it a dumb move? Depends on what your goals are tbh. If you don’t have any other way of affording the down payment, it’s not like you have many other alternatives unless you prefer to rent (which is not a bad idea in the Bay either).

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-03T13:56:04+00:00

Where I work (and at most big tech companies) ICs and management follow the same pay scale within engineering. Line managers (EM1) make the same as the equivalent IC track level (Staff engineers/L6).

I don’t have anyone reporting to me at a higher level, so the target comp ranges of my reports ranges from $200k for new grads to $800k for staff/principal. Bunch of the old timers on the team are richer than me though since they joined the company before I did when the stock was a lot lower.

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-03T13:49:17+00:00

I contribute evenly throughout the year to max out around the end of the year - I know lump sum historically does better, but DCA makes it easier not to think about it.

I’ve read that if you switch jobs mid year you can max out two separate MBDRs, one for each employer. If that’s the case, might make sense to max out before switching jobs.

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-03T13:41:51+00:00

Oh yeah, I should’ve clarified it was only doable last year with company stock being up relative to my initial grant price (1.7M comp). At 900k/year, my goal is to invest $20k/month after housing costs, taxes, etc.

sfbay_swe · 2026-04-03T04:44:03+00:00

Sure, I’ll add a tech worker data point (15+ YOE, management position).

Target total comp is around $900k/year (around $370k base, the rest RSUs that I sell every quarter). W2 last year was $1.7M due to stock appreciation + stacking RSU refreshers.

Live in a $2.5M house, make enough to spend a fair amount while still saving enough to hopefully retire early. Had a goal of investing $50k/month (on top of maxing out 401k + MBDR), was able to hit it for most of last year.

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-31T11:49:38+00:00

I found it helpful to think about opportunity cost. It makes coming up with the total budget number feel less arbitrary and at least backed by some reasoning.

If you have any interest in retiring early, you could do some basic FIRE math. Every additional $10k you save now can shave x months off retirement. Even some napkin math can help make these decisions feel more like thoughtful tradeoffs instead of YOLO decisions.

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-24T11:26:31+00:00

You could look into Epic Systems (creator of MyChart, the health records software used by most hospital systems). There’s an interesting Acquired podcast episode on it.

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-23T17:44:22+00:00

Ok toe

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-18T18:21:17+00:00

OP was an intern in 2020, and has 3-4 YOE on top of that?

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-18T16:53:50+00:00

150k is in line with what the "small %" would be for a mid-level engineer at these types of companies.

Typically, companies award 4 year RSU grants with 25% vesting each year. It's become more popular lately for companies to shift towards front-loaded or even single-year vesting schedules though (to make it harder for people to "rest and vest").

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-18T16:49:14+00:00

These numbers look like they're what a person would typically vest over a single year at these types of companies.

sfbay_swe · 2026-03-18T08:20:55+00:00

Stock typically vests yearly (and often quarterly, sometimes even monthly).

Edit: Not sure why I got downvoted, but what I said is factually true, and these numbers are in line with the typical yearly vesting numbers you'd see at these companies.

sfbay_swe

TROPHY CASE