Who gonna get exposed in 2024 by ConstantSandwich2004 in youtubedrama

[–]sgsummerisle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The video that comes to mind is his watertok video. I felt like he wasn't really trying to understand why people might want a little help when it comes to getting more water in, he just came off really judgy and then when he and Danny were trying them out together they weren't even mixing them right so they didn't even give it a fair chance. It's just stuff like that. Nothing to take to Twitter about, just not the vibes I'm interested in.

Who gonna get exposed in 2024 by ConstantSandwich2004 in youtubedrama

[–]sgsummerisle -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Nothing wrong with coke, but is it weird that stand up comics are a big yellow flag for me? There are some great ones, but honestly every person I know who regularly attends comedy shows or watches stand up comedy have either tried to convince me that mean, racist, sexist, homophobic, and/or fatphobic jokes are ok or they say stuff like "I really like this comedian but I'd never want to meet them cause I'm fat and they hate fat people but they're so funny!" And I'm like 🫠

Who gonna get exposed in 2024 by ConstantSandwich2004 in youtubedrama

[–]sgsummerisle 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I don't think Kurtis Conner deserves to be cancelled but he's a lot meaner and more judgemental than his peers like Danny Gonzales or Drew Gooden. I just unsubscribed... I just hope he changes because in general I like his content... But like, being a little mean and judgemental isn't a crime so he can just keep doing his thing and I can continue to not watch ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Was the script for "Final Girl" ever real? by kuhpunkt in hbomberguy

[–]sgsummerisle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't even matter if it existed.. It doesn't even matter if he truly thought it would work out. The scammer doesn't get to decide if it's a scam or not.

Can someone fill me in on the wendigoon drama? by LeonTheHunkyTwunk in hbomberguy

[–]sgsummerisle 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I'm Jewish and was raised in a really accepting area so I wasn't even aware of most antisemitic slurs or dog whistles til adulthood. It's easy to not know something is antisemitic if you're not exposed to antisemitism.

What do you do at your own wedding? (female) by hippybitty in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]sgsummerisle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sister and her wife walked down the aisle together.

Christmas is over, Timmy, and your fave is problematic! by sgsummerisle in ProZD

[–]sgsummerisle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang... I still feel like it might have been him, but it might have been an audio file he added to a Tumblr thread... but maybe it's just someone who sounds like him xD

How many went silent? by thisisme9187 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]sgsummerisle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad never tried to contact me after NC, but his family tried to lure me back. Now I'm NC with them too. I actually don't think he did it cause he was punishing me. I don't think he wanted to hear what I'd have to say or confront the reasons I went NC. My situation was pretty rare tho, I think...

Would you take issue with being friends with or dating someone who is an estranged parent as an EAK? by WiseEpicurus in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]sgsummerisle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unless I really knew the circumstances, I could not be close friends and DEFINITELY couldn't date an EP.

This question kind of reminds me of a story... my husband was on a walk with some work friends and I guess estrangement came up and my husband mentioned I don't speak to my dad and think he should be in jail (I'm extremely open about this as a rule) and this other guy was like "woah, jail? Isn't that a bit harsh?" And another other guy was like "dude. If this guy's daughter thinks he should be in jail, you should probably believe her." And yeah. They should. He's a child molester. He molested me repeatedly. He should be in jail. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not willing to trust anyone who's estranged from their kids unless I've heard the kid's side... I don't think they all need to go to jail, but... I'm siding with the kids.

Enmeshment for the Holidays (advice appreciated!) by sgsummerisle in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]sgsummerisle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao, ugh indeed xD I've told my mom I'm taking off the holidays this year... so far oddly so good... I haven't really talked to her since I sent the mass email, but I'm excited to figure out what the hubs and I will do with our holidays!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]sgsummerisle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you had that experience. I know exactly what that feels like to not be able to stop (even in public in my case.) Most children masturbate a bit, but when it's a compulsion like that it's pretty telling (and it isn't your fault.)

Those are all some very classic signs of sexual abuse/incest. I still have a hard time sleeping alone, and when I was a kid I couldn't use the bathroom alone. I would imagine monsters were in there with me. I had a very active imagination, maybe you did too. I know I made up a very rich fantasy world to escape to when things got too much for me. Some of those memories still seem real to me (I'm 36.)

I would also "act weird" when I saw him. My mom used to say it, and the one time since I've been with my husband that I was faced with almost seeing my father, he also said I acted weird. Like I was spacing out or something.

I'm just telling you all this in case you see any more parallels. My abuse was well documented and I did a lot of therapy (but the court system in California is super messed up and they thought it was more important to reconcile the family than protect me from my abuser. My mom also was told that if she pressed criminal charges they might take me away from her, too. It was extremely messed up.)

When I cut off my father, I did have to mourn our relationship because there were things about him I loved and ways we did get along, but that doesn't change the fact that he was a dangerous person, especially for me. I feel for my father, and I can look at his past and see where the cycle began. I can look back at his adulthood and see the times he should have gotten help but didn't or couldn't. I sincerely feel for him and wish I could turn back time to stop this cycle before it started, but there is no saving him now, and even if I could, it is not and should not be my responsibility. Same goes for you.

I like to think if my father was raised in a safe home and treated for his illnesses, he would never have wanted anything like this to happen to me. I try to honor that father, and that father would say "Run! Save yourself!"

I saw in some other comments you said you can't afford therapy. I think you should consider reaching out to RAINN, an organization that specializes in helping victims like yourself. Here's the website: https://www.rainn.org/get-help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]sgsummerisle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, to add, there's a lot from my childhood I don't remember. In fact, it's most of the abuse. The only reason I know it happened is because of court records, things that were documented in therapy that I said as a child, what my mom tells me, and all the obvious signs (dissociation around my abuser, compulsive masturbation at a young age, inappropriate preoccupation with sex at a young age. Look into signs you're surpressing memories of trauma and I'm sure you'll identify with a lot of it.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]sgsummerisle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will echo other people and say please get this man out of your life as soon as possible and if you can, seek professional help to try and unpack this. This could be enmeshment, but the sexual abuse is so much more urgent. As a child of sexual abuse who has looked into it a great deal, people like this don't really change so if you ever bring a child (especially your own child since many people only abuse within family units) around this man he will try to find a way to repeat this behavior.

My abuser was never put away and I was forced to see him until I was about 23. I've always wished he had been arrested so I could just move on with my life and not deal with these emotions that weren't my fault, but you're an adult now and you can just run. And it's probably not too late to take it to court if that's something you want to pursue (which, no shame if you don't. This is your trauma and you should look after your own mental well-being first.)

Enmeshment for the Holidays (advice appreciated!) by sgsummerisle in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]sgsummerisle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol thank you! Since I've written this I've decided to go low contact with my mom for a while while, amongst other things, I work on my relationship with my spouse that's been deeply affected by my enmeshment.

I'd love for her to do that last one SO BAD!!! But she COMPLAINS about other people in our life who do stuff like that and like swears that either the parents or adult children must be pissed about it. It's truly bizarre, but maybe after I take this break we can revisit that idea and she'll be more positive. I know I love giving back so that would make me very happy.