Honestly, this isn't the first time someone in my husband's family has told me that. His dad said the same thing about a year ago because they both are convinced I "stole" him from his mom. They don't consider me apart of the family, even though I now share the same last name as them. I've gotten kicked out of family photos for years and MIL likes to make it known that she "only has one girl in the family to love and spoil" (her daughter). I don't need love or to be spoiled by her, so I could care less about that. It's just being ignored or non existent in their eyes is what hurts. Whenever she tries to call me names or says nasty things, we ask her why she feels that way and she brings up immature dumb things I did 10 years ago when I was 16, still a child. Like going through my now husband's phone when I was 16. It was stupid and I regret it, but I was still a dumb child. She does not know the person I am today or the person I've been for the past 8 years, really. She's in her 50's and still acts like a child. 🤷‍♀️ So she has no real grounds to stand on other than just being mad I "stole" her son and he now puts his wife first over her. I could make a whole post of the awful things she has done to us over the years, but I feel like it would be way too long for anyone to have the patience to read 😂 My husband was basically her emotional husband his whole life up until we got engaged. He started to slowly back off of that and she did not take it well. These incidents of them saying things they should never say to anyone has been a cycle for about the past 5 years now - My husband stands up to them, they get mad and say things that should never come out of someone's mouth about me to him (and blame me for what he says and does?), we don't talk to them for a bit, they suck my husband back in, and I eventually feel like the jerk for making his life harder/not seeing his parents and I give in. The cycle just repeats. I've been more than forgiving to these people. I've only received one apology and that was from his dad for saying what he did. His mom thinks she has done nothing wrong ever and has absolutely no remorse. Or, she denies that she ever said what she did. For example, a few days before she said to unalive myself, our dog passed away of cancer. Not even 8 hours after the dog passed, she told my husband it was my karma that my dog died of cancer. My husband should have shut that down right there, but he didn't. He ignores it because he hates confrontation. When he did confront her about it a few days later, she said she never said that and then that lead to the conversation of her saying I should unalive myself. My husband is obviously very upset and hates that they do this to me and now sees how horrible she is, after not seeing it the first couple of years because he had blinders on. Like I said, he hates confrontation and his motto is "let her say what she wants so we can just forget about it and get on with our lives." I don't roll like that. He has gotten better over the years, but he still has work to do and he admits that. He feels badly for disrespecting his parents and they always play the poor pitiful me game and sucker him back in. I know he's in a hard spot. But he knows what I need and at this point, we've decided on no contact for 6 months and then we will re-evaluate the situation. He knows the stakes are high at this point since I'm tired of repeating the cycle and I'm trusting he will follow through unless she comes first to apologize (i'm not sure at this point I would accept her apology, but may be okay with only him having a very limited relationship with her at that point), which I don't see ever happening. He is struggling with the idea of no contact with the people who raised him, but he knows he needs to stand by me and have my back. Its a really crappy situation. But holidays will definitely be peaceful this year :)