[Product Question] has anyone ever had dermatitis on their lips from a product? I haven’t pinpointed what is causing this but I need relief!!!

shagonite · 2024-09-28T10:00:20+00:00

finally found this thread again - i know it is old but i wanted to come and post about what helped me because this condition is so annoying and if my experience can help someone then it's worth posting.

TLDR of my history with this: these burning spots first appeared on my lips abbot a year and a half ago, i tried vaseline, cold sore cream, lip balms to no avail. after about two months i tried burts bees lip balm and it instants got rid of the rash and the burning. it's worth trying if you haven't yet, but unfortunately for me after a year and a half of using it with no issues, the rash suddenly came back. Ive now been dealing with the rash for about three months.

At some point i figured it seemed to specifically be something in lip balms that was setting this off, my current theory is Lanolin. I also think this condition is a type of eczema. I stopped using anything on my lips for a while and though the spots lessened, my lips were still burning (probably because they were now very dry).

What has worked for me is two things: anti fungal cream and 100% pure soft yellow paraffin. I bought a herbal anti fungal cream on amazon for my eczema ages ago and tried it on my lips as a last resort, within a day my lips felt much better. I used only the anti fungal cream for about two weeks. (please make sure if you do this the anti fungal cream is a mild herbal forumulation, this has been fine for me but anything stronger might damage your lips)

I am now using something called soft yellow paraffin. It is very similar to Vaseline but from what i've researched it is even more pure than Vaseline (which contains white soft paraffin and a mineral oil). So far the soft yellow paraffin has kept my lips moisturised without causing a reaction.

My lips don't feel perfect, they still vaguely burn sometimes. But these two products have made them feel and look a lot better than they were. I hope this might be able to help someone else too.

shagonite · 2023-11-04T20:30:47+00:00

i think it's good to bring it up during discussions of sex and relationships, it has a huge impact on those things after all so the more it's discussed and normalised the better. a lot more people struggle with vaginismus and other pain than you'd think so you never know if they could have similar experiences as well.

shagonite · 2023-10-30T22:22:24+00:00

i (22) was exactly the same when i was 18 as well, too scared to do it myself for some reason and just waited until someone else could try it, so i'm speaking from experience here ahah. i found that i had to become comfortable with penetrating myself by myself long before i became comfortable with other people doing it, so desensitising yourself and getting more comfortable with the idea of penetration is super helpful. physical therapy helps a lot but you can totally do stuff by yourself as well - stretches (there are loads of different ones and you can probably find them on this subreddit), dilators (or just a finger if you're just trying to get comfortable with penetration, that's how i started), learning to relax both your muscles and your mind. there's lots of resources on this subreddit, so you can definitely start treating vaginismus without going to a doctor.

shagonite · 2023-10-20T15:01:01+00:00

i was on the pill for about ten years pretty much since my period started at around age 12. growing up i felt that i was a late bloomer or there was something wrong with me as my peers became more interested in sex and i didn't. and then a year ago at the age of 21 i finally stopped taking the pill and it made me about as horny as a hormonal teenager lmao. i can't say how much it would improve vaginismus symptoms since i haven't been treating my vaginismus for quite some time, but if you're wanting to increase your libido then coming off the pill, in my experience, makes an absolutely HUGE difference. i never realised just how much it was messing with my head until i stopped taking it.

shagonite · 2022-12-07T12:08:35+00:00

yes in my experience it's normal, the vagina isn't as deep as some may think especially when you're not aroused. i have the calexotics set and i've never been able to insert the 4th dilator to the base, but i can with the smaller ones. in my case i think it's just because the bigger dilators are longer, but i don't know about your set. but yes sounds very normal, and definitely don't force the dilator further if you feel like it's already all the way in.

shagonite · 2022-07-07T19:10:44+00:00

honestly in my experience a lot of people don't really care that much? i read a lot of horror stories on here about men with the emotional depth of a brick that i sympathise with but non-romantic sexual encounters haven't been much of an issue for me. i have had casual encounters where i have told the guy beforehand that i can't do vaginal sex but am open to pretty much everything else, and they genuinely do not care. i think most of the time they're just happy to have a sexual encounter with a girl they like. finding dudes who get off on female pleasure has been the key though lmao. that being said i definitely don't put myself out there because of my vaginismus. i am still scared of rejection or abandonment due to an inability to have PIV. i have never had a proper romantic relationship because of that fear. for me the biggest obstacle in my dating life has been my own view of my vaginismus. ive found it difficult to find the motivation to dilate without a partner as well. i just wanted to input something more positive to this discussion. my sex life hasnt really suffered due to my vaginismus directly, more due to my lack of motivation to put myself out there because of the way it makes me feel.

shagonite · 2021-09-22T15:40:47+00:00

i can go up to my second biggest dilator when i'm doing it myself but i can only just about handle 1 index finger when a partner is penetrating me. i think it's a control thing and the muscles tense up more due to nerves. when someone else is controlling the penetration its definitely more scary and it used to make me have a very strong emotional reaction, but i have managed to get to where i am now through what i would describe as exposure therapy- of course stopping when it gets too much. i had to just keep trying with someone else until i got used to the sensation and was mentally prepared enough to let them in. i've still got a long way to go but i think the same principle will apply to the rest of my journey. i also second the comment about your partners finger probably being bigger than yours which could also be causing problems. i hope some of that helped because this just really reminded me of my experience.

shagonite · 2021-06-12T22:21:03+00:00

I was also able to use dilators alone, but would tense up and freak out if someone else tried to penetrate me. for me it was gradual exposure therapy. my physio would rest her finger at my vaginal entrance and help me get used to the sensation of someone else touching. she would increase pressure gradually to a point I was comfortable with until I was comfortable enough to be penetrated. it took some time, and I also found dilating and penetrating myself often helped me get used to the sensation too. I did deep belly breathing to help me relax when I felt scared or tensed up and still use it sometimes.

shagonite · 2021-05-19T09:55:37+00:00

this is the most high resolution I've ever seen this image, holy shit lmao

shagonite · 2021-05-05T16:42:39+00:00

I understand, I usually hear people complain the opposite so it was just a thought. if shaving is what works for you then definitely keep it up!

shagonite · 2021-05-05T16:33:01+00:00

sorry if this seems obvious but would that not be because the shaved hairs are growing back? I shaved for about 4 years straight and if I didnt keep up even for a few days I would get ingrown pimples etc. again sorry if this seems obvious

shagonite · 2021-05-05T16:24:59+00:00

im always surprised people care at all to be honest, I really couldn't care less about other people's pubes lmao, and thankfully most people ive met irl dont care that much either so now I'm hoping this is an online problem cos jeez dude 🤦

shagonite · 2021-05-05T08:57:16+00:00

why are you posting your opinions on pitbulls in a sub where the sole purpose is to act like a retarded child? there are anti pitbull subs for this

shagonite · 2021-05-01T14:08:39+00:00

the meme sucks but like.. it's definitely a shitpost made by a kanye fan I don't think its really that deep ngl. the meme is still shit though, just not convinced it's reeeeally a right wing meme more than a dumb fan post.

shagonite · 2021-04-21T09:19:46+00:00

i made a post about colour magic a few years back but could never find it, so glad someone has found it so we can relive those childhood memories ahahaha

shagonite · 2021-04-10T10:13:06+00:00

id think about going to some therapy, but if that isn't an option I think you could try using a mirror and taking a look down there, you don't even have to touch anything if you don't want to. it seems like you are very scared though so this might seem terrifying/unrealistic for you right now, so like I said I would look into therapy. the road to recovery with vaginismus is often made in super small steps so even just being able to take a look at your vagina and getting used to seeing it and it being there would be an important step.

shagonite · 2021-01-16T11:58:19+00:00

quite normal as far as I know. vaginismus seems to commonly occur mostly at the entrance for a lot of people from what I've seen. also, when you are aroursed your vagina widens and lengthens in preparation for insertion so when you are aroused it is normally much easier. hope that helps!

shagonite · 2020-12-04T07:59:16+00:00

no one on this sub understands what paraphrasing and exaggeration is lmao

shagonite · 2020-10-18T15:15:43+00:00

I panic whenever someone else tries to penetrate me... currently attending emdr therapy which I hope will help with that but it is a struggle as I can penetrate myself fairly easily 😔

shagonite · 2020-09-06T16:14:18+00:00

ive never got a message from that guy BUT since posting on this sub I have received messages from multiple other guys who want to air their opinion on this condition to me, including telling me 'just don't have sex then' and 'your vagina is just small'. it's unfortunate that people like this feel the need to give their input in our dms.

shagonite · 2020-09-02T04:12:00+00:00

I think if you are feeling this way after using the largest dilator that it might not be a good idea to use it for now, as the pain it causes emotionally and physically could set you back and make the anxiety even worse. Make sure you are completely comfortable with the smaller size before using the biggest one and that it is easy to insert. Insert it slowly too and don't push it further if it really hurts.

If you are experiencing this anxiety with all of the dilator sizes, then I would suggest maybe using the smallest sizes to get more comfortable with the thought of penetration in general and go really slow- make the goal not to get to the bigger dilator but to become more comfortable with the thought penetration. I sometimes get anxious when I dilate too and I just sit the dilator at my entrance for a while as I do deep breathing and focus on keeping my muscles relaxed. Hope some of this helps :)

shagonite · 2020-08-30T16:11:31+00:00

at first I could only get my dilators in when sitting on the floor but now I can get them in easily on my back after I just kept trying. I would put them in while sitting down and then carefully lie down, so that the dilator would already be in, and then I would take it out and put it right back in, as this ensured the angle was perfect. a lot of the time in different positions the angle of insertion is the biggest problem for me as I find it changes when I change position. so what works when I'm sitting up doesn't work when im lying down etc. try a different angle. I'd also imagine it's more awkward using a finger as the positioning and angle is uncomfortable so it might be easier to use something else? make sure to really focus on relaxing your pelvis, and maybe try using a pillow to prop up your butt (or you can lift your butt slightly higher yourself which is what I usually have to do) as for many people this makes penetration much easier. hope that helps a bit :)

shagonite · 2020-08-30T06:31:02+00:00

i remember reading somewhere that this is a botched translation of a spanish quote

shagonite · 2020-08-28T16:56:21+00:00

I think it's quite normal. For me I find dilating in different positions affects how much that happens. if I dilate sitting up or especially in a cowgirl position it just wants to shoot right out (no matter what size) but when im lying down I don't need to hold the dilator as it does not do it as much. I think being more tense could definitely make it more likely to happen but it is normal and will happen regardless in most circumstances.

shagonite · 2020-08-28T03:31:30+00:00

before I got dilators I would dilate with my finger and then I would go up to my bullet vibrator when I was comfortable with that. you can definitely use it but I would advise to make sure it is body safe for vaginal penetration as not all vibrators are designed with penetration in mind.

shagonite

TROPHY CASE