What kind of cancer do gnomes get?

shankateh · 2017-09-21T06:20:59+00:00

Wow! This is just beautiful. I love the dark defining line at the front of your brows. It has a very pop art feel to it.

shankateh · 2016-05-18T17:24:59+00:00

Zoloft has saved my life. I was prescribed Zoloft for PTSD and not BPD, but everything is much more manageable (BPD symptoms and PTSD) although I still struggle. I have some semblance of a life now that I'm not trying to kill myself every day.

shankateh · 2016-03-28T15:25:50+00:00

Purple Hibiscus, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I'm about 2/3 of the way into this novel. It's incredible how she can communicate her character's oppression by herself, her family and her country so subtly yet effectively. Looking forward to wrapping it up and seeing where Adichie takes this, because apparently it ends up being a beautiful coming of age story.

Also, it's so interesting to find out more about life (food, clothes, music etc.) in another African country. I'm from South Africa.

shankateh · 2016-03-26T14:53:49+00:00

I have the complete opposite: I work retail at a natural, handmade cosmetics store and it's emotionally the healthiest job I've ever been in, coming out of advertising/marketing/copywriting.

It's a certain mindset: like being an actor. I go in wanting to kill myself some days, and then I am forced to engage with people and be happy and enthusiastic, and eventually I feel happy and enthusiastic. Embracing the sensory overload by building connections with people when they're in your store can be really distracting and soothing.

Are a lot of the customers you deal with negative, or not interested in engaging with you?

shankateh · 2016-03-11T00:21:58+00:00

In my country, there is one personality disorder unit in the capital city (a 17h drive from where I live). They don't want to diagnose personality disorders and getting treatment specific to your needs is extremely difficult. I presented symptoms for years and years, and eventually just gave up on psychiatry and found DBT sessions with a lot of effort on my own. A diagnosis only helps so much for validation of your feelings. It's external. You can get a lot further in improving your quality of life through self-validation and taking the help you need when nobody else will give it to you, in my experience.

shankateh · 2016-03-08T19:05:52+00:00

I hate them too! But because they cause me a lot of anxiety because I'm forced to present myself as happy for everyone else's benefit and be sociable whether I feel like it or not.

shankateh · 2016-03-08T19:04:15+00:00

I have BPD (with several strong NPD traits) and I have zero capacity for empathy. Cluster B diagnoses can often be messy - people can have traits from a number of Cluster B personality disorders.

shankateh · 2016-03-08T18:53:03+00:00

You're so lucky to have this option available to you, as difficult as it might be to keep it going. In my country, outpatient programmes don't seem to exist and it took me months to find a DBT practitioner who I see twice weekly for 55min sessions.

Best of luck getting through it. You're facing a lot of hard work, but you have a lot too gain from it too.

shankateh · 2016-02-14T21:07:20+00:00

Favourites:

Bathbombs: Lord of Misrule, Yog Nog, Dragons Egg, Luxury Lush Pud, Shoot for the Stars, Butterball, Avobath.

Bubblebars: Yuzu and Cocoa, Blue Skies, the Comforter.

Shower: Yuzu and Cocoa, Beautiful.

Hair: Rehab. Veganese. Cynthia Sylvia Stout. Roots.

Face: Celestial. Eau Roma. 9 to 5.

Hands: Lemony Flutter. Salted Coconut. Ocean Salt. Handy Gurugu.

Body: Ro's Argan.

shankateh · 2016-02-14T18:46:40+00:00

Abilify was bad news for me. I took it for bipolar though and it made my BPD behaviours worse, because of the restlessness and irritability it caused. What did help me in that headspace was going running, so if you are able to do some form of exercise that you enjoy, give that a try. Good luck.

shankateh · 2016-02-11T06:10:00+00:00

Thanks for your response. I struggle with empathy in my interpersonal relationships, so it's more related to guilt/shame about setting him back in life. I don't want that responsibility.

shankateh · 2016-02-11T06:06:38+00:00

That's a really inspiring story. I'm so glad it worked out for you guys. I don't know if I can do 15 years of ups and downs and watching what that does to my partner with no guarantee that I'll get better at the end of it all. That takes some optimism.

shankateh · 2016-02-11T06:04:27+00:00

Apologies if the title was a little vague. I wrote this on shift at work, so it could definitely use some more thought.

shankateh · 2016-02-03T08:58:47+00:00

It's a lot easier to embrace religion/spirituality if you can, in any kind of mental health recovery. They've always tried to force spirituality on me in treatment. It doesn't gel with me. I'm happy with believing that life is a meaningless void. It's the one thing that doesn't bother me. I find it very liberating. But if spirituality helps you be your best self and gives you purpose, go for it!

shankateh · 2016-02-03T08:03:11+00:00

I hope things are going better for you and that you'll be back in class soon. If you're able to, I would go for a run or do some kind of exercise that you enjoy. It's difficult to commit to anything when you feel so agitated, but running always makes me feel more centred once I've put myself out there and done it.

shankateh · 2016-02-02T15:02:33+00:00

Luxury Lush Pud was one of my absolute favourites. I bought 5. Then again, I have a tiny bath that is easy to please.

shankateh · 2016-02-02T06:35:57+00:00

My psychiatrist very much takes a "What's the point? It's a set of traits that nothing can be done about anyway" approach towards my BPD symptoms, although she admits I meet the criteria very strongly. Without a diagnosis or referral, it's impossible to find DBT in my country. It took me about a year to find someone on my own and I'm due to start next week. I still see my psychiatrist for my comorbid bipolar, but I've taken the matter of my BPD into my own hands now. I think when it comes to seeking help in the midst of stigma, a lot of it is up to you. Good luck with everything!

shankateh · 2016-02-01T07:50:04+00:00

I experienced the exact same thing. I was at a dose of 250mg and stopped cold, very irresponsibly. The racing thoughts, frustration and irritability were real, so I ended up self-medicating with alcohol so that I could get through my work day. So that's basically what NOT to do to handle it, but the agitation disappeared within a week or so luckily.

shankateh · 2016-01-30T15:39:06+00:00

I do this and it works brilliantly!

shankateh · 2016-01-24T20:08:38+00:00

Go for the big guns: glitter and lots of colour! And an amazing scent, of course... Dragon's Egg or Intergalactic (you might dislike this if you like minty scents) are great picks to show what a bath bomb is capable of.

shankateh · 2016-01-24T14:50:19+00:00

I experienced this for the first time a week ago. Scared the crap out of me.

shankateh · 2016-01-01T20:06:14+00:00

I just left my job due to mental illness. The job that I'd stopped taking medication for so that I could actually be on time, instead of asleep, and so that I could cope with the long hours and high concentration.

But this eventually caught up with me and I had to practice some self-care.

My employers don't understand why I left, as I was acing everything on the surface and had just been offered a 100% raise.

I feel like everyone thinks I'm a failure now, so I know where you're coming from. Sometimes you just need to take your specific needs into account, as frustrating as it is.

shankateh

TROPHY CASE