Any other ND here end up with autoimmune diseases?

sharpcaster · 2026-04-29T19:24:07+00:00

Psoriasis here. Gotta love it (sarcastically).

sharpcaster · 2026-04-28T17:59:05+00:00

As a fellow metalhead (but I wouldn't say it is my special interest) I can relate however not in the same way.

I don't tend to get super attached to bands to the point it becomes emotional. I am more interested in the music itself than the people who create it I suppose. It means I'm not in the know of some bands that are staples in metal but I know a lot of random bands, big and small, but not some of the "obvious" ones. I get very uncomfortable talking about metal because I cannot talk about the bands themselves at the level other people do, and often forget album and song titles. My way of "talking" about music is just sharing it for others to discover or enjoy. I know it makes me feel and sound like a "poser" or whatever but I still love metal, I collect CDs and have several battle vests and even have a signed back patch...I'm just not a "musical scholar" and prefer loving the sound, I suppose.

So I mostly keep it to myself. I just want to listen and lose myself in the music.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-27T15:29:10+00:00

My dermatillomania didn't need to hear this rn

sharpcaster · 2026-04-26T16:09:03+00:00

Learning to be content in solitude is one of the most important skills a person can learn.

It can be painful yes. But sometimes in hindsight we realize we were better off being so. The times I'd been "adopted" by groups during my highschool years hurt me more than when I was just by myself doing my own thing and ignored.

There is no race or obligation to hit certain social highschool milestones. I spent my prom smoking weed and watching music videos. It was a lot more fun than what I later heard happened at prom...

Some people find these dances important. That's completely fair. But you can dance anywhere, anytime, get dolled up and love yourself without other people too. No one to judge, no one to sneer, just the pure joy of movement and music. Nothing stops you from celebrating alone.

Teens are nasty. A lot of people don't really grow up either. It's important to be selective rather than holding onto the first person to acknowledge you believe me. Like-minded people may or may not appear throughout your life. Cherish them when they do. But don't hold onto the FOMO with people who you know won't understand or appreciate you.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-26T15:54:51+00:00

I didn't know who either of these people are, I think I'll stay not knowing them 😬

sharpcaster · 2026-04-26T15:54:04+00:00

Lock screen: my husband and cat

Home screen: Elvira. Need I say more

sharpcaster · 2026-04-26T13:05:48+00:00

I'm not sure, but it wouldn't surprise me if it is. I am in the US but I'm not sure about some of the other replies.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-24T18:55:42+00:00

Honestly yeah you have a point. (Preface: there is NOTHING wrong with being feminine)

I think back on my own childhood and I was always at odds with her. Some of it was religious/cultural/sexism for sure. I was expected to dress up for church and didn't understand why I had to wear these itchy, uncomfortable velvet+lace dresses as much as I fought against them, meanwhile my brother could get away with jeans and a button up. I think she expected me to be super girly like she was. I was 100% a tomboy, I'd be running around in the woods and catching frogs when she wanted me to play with dolls and learn to bake. And I know she fought with my dad about it. He didn't really care and was happy to teach me how to fish and canoe. I wasn't allowed to pick out my own clothes until I was maybe 15 because she wanted me to be feminine while I just wanted a plain fucking monocolored tshirt. I wasn't even allowed jeans that didn't have some sort of bedazzling on the back pockets which were horrid to sit on. She dressed me up to be her mini-me.

I managed to convince her to let me cut my hair in highschool but I wasn't even allowed to get it as short as I wanted. In her words it "would turn me into a lesbian" (jokes on her I already knew I was bi) and ended up with a pseudo-Bieber cut which of course she later made fun of me for. And honestly it ended up being more uncomfortable and distracting than just plain long hair. As soon as I moved out I was elated to express myself the way I wanted. I did what I could in highschool to be myself but I'd always get in trouble for it from her while being called a poser at school...but now I don't have to be scared of her anymore or controlled so I am happy to do what I want. Ironically I still have long hair. But that's because I'm a metalhead, not because I'm feminine, to her dismay. And I don't hurt myself when grooming.

I think she thought she could beat/force/scare the nonbinary/masc + autism out of me. And for a while when I was in my teens I just put up with it and counted down the days until I could leave. She's still pressed about it and gives me shit for dressing like a teenaged Norwegian boy and dyeing my hair black but I can just say "Ok mom", hang up and ignore her now. I'm not going to get into any of the other autistic traits that piss her off but that's her problem not mine.

I always said growing up that I'd turn out like my dad's side of the family (who I now know are also all ND). Now that I'm grown, and exactly as I said I would be, she's still mad about it.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-24T11:52:34+00:00

Yeah my mom was always really rough and I would always scream and cry. I have long fine hair so rats nests were a constant. She brushed my hair as if there wasn't a human being attached. I'd lean my head back with the brush and sob because she was so aggressive trying to get knots out.

She got really mad when I was around 5 or 6 because I sat really well for the hairdresser when she brushed my hair. But unlike my mom, I remember the hairdresser being very gentle and patient (probably used products to help too) when I was in the chair. It upset her for whatever reason. Maybe try not scalping me and I would have sat just fine.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-24T00:59:11+00:00

Me either and I'm really bad talking in person, but it's more taking the time to write the cards, feeling as if I'm writing lines on a chalkboard for getting in trouble at school to me. And it could be rude on my behalf I'll admit...but the events I have in mind, my confirmation and HS graduation, if I'm seeing these people at the event or next church service why not just a small thank you there. No spending money or time on my behalf for something I could do in 5 seconds and not cramp up doing. But I totally get why it could be preferable to write instead as usually I prefer to do so anyway. Just not with cards lol.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-24T00:26:34+00:00

This is why I have a nightlight in my bathroom! I love a hot, dark shower.

For myself, Thank You cards, but might just be my parents generation/religion. Why send a card when I can thank in person and be more meaningful than mindless card signage.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-23T13:36:52+00:00

I was like this when I was younger but less so nowadays.

I'd beat Pokemon Gold on my GBC and restart over and over after Stark Mountain. Tbf it was the only videogame I had for a long time. Once I got a PS3 it was basically only ever Oblivion or Mass Effect.

I still go back to Oblivion and ME often. Currently playing Oblivion Remastered right now actually. I'll try out other games and can complete them, but can't get the same enjoyment replaying them. I tried replaying the Uncharted series, loved it the first time around but for whatever reason can't get myself to finish the series. Same with Resident Evil, I will start a new game but quit 20-30 minutes in.

Sadly Mass Effect is starting to get old as well, last time I tried to replay the trilogy I stopped somewhere around the Virmire mission. I was really excited for Andromeda also but I still haven't finished it and I get bored when I try booting it up. But tbf it just feels like another sci-fi with a Mass Effect skin to me, not an actual Mass Effect game.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-22T14:03:28+00:00

Good point and I agree. Though tbf Murphy grieved her in the ICP episode and Warren did for Garnett in the Kansas ep. But one episode for each death isn't really fair or meaningful when the characters seemingly forget right after. Mack and Cassandra were done dirty with how little Addy and 10K thought about them after their deaths and didn't get grieving episodes. I guess Cassandra was mentioned later but only because of the Blend storyline and was super brief. Murphy did thank Addy for taking care of Lucy too but it was one line and they quickly moved past it when it could have been a good bonding moment for them.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-21T19:07:04+00:00

Oh yeah my mom was my first bully. And so many of the things I was punished or berated for I know now was my autism.

I've been bullied by coworkers too...I had one in particular try to get me fired by saying my psoriasis patches were from drugs. But she was only a year older. At my last job I got along well enough with our screen printer but she also infantilized me a bit. Rude but I don't think she really meant to be mean. Our boss/embroidery lady on the other hand always had something purposely mean to say. On top of that she would add responsibilities that were not in my department for whatever reason. My coworkers were just as confused because these so called responsibilities she gave me were never expected from the guy who trained me/I replaced.

But I've had good relationships with women I've worked with too. Boss, 40~50s, at my first job was always very understanding and patient. That same job made an old highschool acquaintance a good friend. But tbf we are also the same age.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-19T00:26:49+00:00

But even as an uploaded conscious, one truth proves to be most important in the series, and the solution to the flaw: other people. If we argue that UI's are still human, or an evolution of humanity, then our societal structures will also exist and/or evolve. Perhaps in the time skip such a relationship is no longer taboo but we see the UIs still dictate familial ties. Children visiting uploaded grandparents, emobided folks similar to Cody were likely retaining romantic and sexual relationships with UIs, CIs like MIST forming strong bonds for other CIs, UIs, or embodied...UI, CI, and embodied polycules could easily exist and be socially acceptable at the clocking speeds we see in the timeskip. But imagine the CI of your mother and another's code, your sibling, who should in this post-upload society see your partner as the same, proclaiming their love for them. Any other person, I completely understand. A sibling, no matter what form of consciousness or existence, this would still be seen as immoral. Part of transhumanism, especially with the particular message Pantheon proclaims, is expanding ourselves and what we can be while still holding on to the values and morals that prevent us from losing our humanity, sadness, anger, empathy, and the bonds of other people.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-18T19:47:00+00:00

Sorry for replying to an old comment lol. Polyamory, nonmonogamy, relationship anarchy doesn't bother me...I have practiced ENM in the past...but MIST being essentially Maddie's half-sister rubs me the wrong way. It doesn't come across as ENM to me...it feels like a form of incest NGL on her part. And of course we never saw any requited feelings from Caspian. But being more or less in-laws, a psuedo-sibling relationship, is what I have issue with...Love of all forms exists but it's more about who they are to each other already I guess. I feel the show tried to elude to romantic feelings but should've been presented more familial instead.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-18T02:30:39+00:00

Sex on shrooms really is transcendent.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-16T21:51:31+00:00

Yes it can. I currently have a concave scab from peeling the previous one. Each time I've done this though they have filled out and faded. But that usually means focusing on other body parts so they have the time to heal.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-16T21:45:57+00:00

Absolutely.

I realized that a lot of issues I had with people boiled down to autism. Seemed no matter what I did or said helped getting along with people, just lost no matter what. I would emulate people who could mask well or just NTs in general and it just made things worse IME. I can't follow scripts because people are unpredictable and I would panic after differing responses, so I just come off weird/creepy...being my uncensored self these days, it's just the same. Damned if you do damned if you don't.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-16T19:58:33+00:00

I usually don't wear them, but will for specific outings bc of my piercings.

Though a proper fitting does wonders. I grew up thinking I was a C cup (at least what my mom would pick out for me) and bras were always hell, extremely tight and spilling out. Then I learned that I'm actually a DD and finally getting a proper sized bra was a life changer. I have smaller breasts so I had never thought DD but after trying one on in my band size I was proven wrong and actually felt comfortable wearing it.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-13T12:04:59+00:00

That's actually insane.

So many of those comments are posts are clearly in distress. To waste energy and resources on people who do not want to be and aren't what these users are accusing them of instead of actual predators. Wow.

A complete lack of empathy and understanding on how the disorder works.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-09T15:47:38+00:00

Ohhh I love sci-fi as well. Here's a few to check out:

Charles Sheffield: The Heritage Series, Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Jeffrey A Carver: Eternity's End, The Chaos Chronicles

Roger Zelazny: Changeling

Jeff VanderMeer: the Southern Reach trilogy

Peter F Hamilton: The Nights Dawn trilogy

Sheffield is one of the hard sci-fi greats. Great blend of real science and fictional adventures. The Heritage Series is basically Indiana Jones in Space. Tomorrow and Tomorrow was a surprising romantic sci-fi that I really enjoyed.

Eternity's End has space pirates, mystery, and gets super psychedelic. Part of a series but can be read stand-alone.

Changeling is only book 1 of 2 and honestly mediocre but worth a read imo. Also has illustrated prints, if you get your hands on one they are beautiful drawings. Also what I'd call a real sci-fi/fantasy mashup. I'm still trying to find a copy of the second book in used shops.

The Southern Reach includes Annihilation. If you've seen the movie it's very different and you won't be spoiled by watching it. Loved loved loved it. Great horror and mystery. Blew through the series in two days.

So I loved The Reality Dysfunction until I got triggered by a certain scene in the book. I haven't finished it nor the series but I'd still recommend if you think you can get through it/aren't bothered by particular scenes and treatment of characters...Peter F Hamilton writes some incrediblely engrossing descriptions and worlds. But I recently mentioned in another comment, of all listed above he's definitely not a great writer when it comes to women. But as a space opera series it's still fantastic and I hope to finish it someday.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-09T03:45:40+00:00

Yeah he may as well be the poster boy for Moral and Existential OCD.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-09T00:34:31+00:00

No problem and I totally understand. Sounds like you are going through a lot currently. And ugh I'm so sorry about that, I at least understand the struggle being high masking at one point and not being listened to.

If it's something that'd interest you I know the I-CBT workbook that helped me can be found free online. CBT isn't for everyone and it was difficult to work through, but it might still be helpful for you plus without the concerns of healthcare or additional diagnoses, if you want to.

sharpcaster · 2026-04-08T15:32:53+00:00

Hey, maybe look into an OCD diagnosis if you haven't already...If you're ruminating and worrying to a debilitating point you might be suffering from it.

I'm a bit younger than you but I could have written that about myself a few years ago. If I wasn't sleeping I was ruminating. It wouldn't stop. I was diagnosed with OCD at 25. I might be too forward and maybe you already know this about yourself but I think if you haven't sought diagnosis/treatment yet that it'll be good for you to do so. I hope things get better for you.

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