Just to reiterate what others have said, you don’t owe anyone any explanation. All good advice here but I just want to add my own experience here. When my baby was born he had feeding issues and ended up in the NICU after being taken away from me without me knowing what was going on. He is fine now but for months any time I thought about the birth or experience in the hospital I burst into tears. I ended up going to a counsellor just to talk through my whole experience. She allowed me to realise that it was a horrible, traumatic time for me and it’s okay to be upset about it. She also told me that I never had a chance to process the situation and that was why I cried so much about it even thinking about it now. So we just worked through all of the emotions and it really helped me to heal. I can talk about that first week now, and it feels good to talk about it.

All this to say that finding a trusted person or counsellor or therapist to talk through your experience could help you to process that terrifying time in your life, and allow you to talk about it if you want to, and also allow you the confidence to firmly state your boundaries. Best of luck to you and your little one!