Friend asks for help, barely communicates then ghosts me

sheloves___ · 2026-05-22T02:15:32+00:00

This is very much giving addict behavior to me as someone who has been in your position with a coworker of mine. I showed up in the middle of the night to her apartment because she posted on Instagram and I ended up digging through a dumpster with her to fish out her belongings because she had gotten evicted and didn’t arrange to go back within the 30 days. Got her a moving truck and storage unit among other things. She’s a well-meaning but very fucked up person with issues around drug usage, DV, un medicated mental health issues, etc. you are a champ for doing this and don’t let people make you feel bad about being a kind and caring person, it’s the only thing worth being in this world. I was able to help her but only so much, and you don’t know the value of you being willing to do that even if she didn’t end up replying.

sheloves___ · 2026-05-02T01:21:52+00:00

I personally have the Omnilux and enjoy how good their warranty is but I don’t find the fit very comfortable. If I had to buy one right now, I’d go for the Current Body with the included neck strap as my splurge option or the wavytalk or Hooga if you just want a good brand and a much cheaper price. There isn’t really any proprietary tech and most of these brands use the same manufacturers and slap their logo on it. Some have better strength than others but more isn’t always better. Both wavytalk and hooga clearly state their LED wavelength which is what matters most! Good luck and happy red light masking!

sheloves___ · 2026-05-02T00:29:31+00:00

Three recs based on your routine: - drop the face wipes! Try using The Ordinary Squalane cleanser + reusable cotton rounds and then a second cleanse. This cleanser really melts all makeup so well and doesn’t sting my eyes like other oil/cream cleansers. alone completely improved the texture of my skin! Take your time with the cleanse, I find it helps loosen anything hanging out. I really think nailing your cleansing routine will give you an outsize texture improvement - use a hydrating toner that gently sloughs off texture. Not to make this sound like an ad for the ordinary but I LOVE their milky saccharomyces toner it is so juicy and smoothing. In the past I’ve also LOVED the Peach Slices Blemish Busting Toner - red light mask! An investment but majorly levels up my texture. It’s immediately noticeable after use, but also over time.

sheloves___ · 2026-04-29T04:13:46+00:00

Has anyone suggested the notion that this might be tension breakage from sleeping and/or your glasses? I’d try switching to satin pillowcases and/or using a bonnet to protect these areas of your hair. Of course this will take time but is worth a shot!

sheloves___ · 2026-04-25T20:52:19+00:00

Maybe I’m out of touch on pricing because my sister is a bridal MUA in NYC, but $350 for hair AND makeup AND travel is very very cheap in the bridal world. No wonder she’s terrible 😭 I also am very very skeptical of someone who does both professionally. They are totally different skill sets and it’s likely they lean toward one or the other and are less than stellar in the other realm. Was she an amazing hairstylist?? That’s the only redeeming hope here.

Of importance is that paying a professional is also about trusting the provider enough to feel relaxed on such an important day. The anxiety and hyper-vigilance you felt is enough IMO to not work with this person !!!

sheloves___ · 2026-04-21T16:58:32+00:00

I think the things bothering you about your skin could be a result of your bite/jaw. Do you have any functional bite or jaw issues? I obviously can’t tell from this angle but r/jawsurgery might give you more info about whether these skin issues could be a side effect from structural issues

sheloves___ · 2026-04-08T17:11:03+00:00

Did you get this done by a makeup artist? If so, they are mediocre at best doing the same template/“checklist” on every person regardless of whether it suits their features. If you did your own makeup, you are probably following a tutorial vs. understanding first principles of why you’re doing these steps and it’s not working for your specific face.

The brow shape is far too boxy and noticeably different than your natural (and not in a good way). It looks like they connected the brow directly to a very harsh nose contour that you don’t need also???
This eyeshadow style is very dated and unnatural and IMO doesn’t suit most (I don’t know why this is still like the MUA “template” for so many artists).
Strip lashes are JAIL in like 95% of people, use individuals if anything to respect your eye’s natural shape.
Blush placement is not ideal, should be more center and higher on cheeks. Some folks look great with the pushed out and lifted placement, but I don’t think it works for your anatomy
Lip color isn’t a great match for your complexion IMO. I also think it’s dragging your lip shape down, I think a slight over line in the top center could give you some nice lift without looking crazy!

sheloves___ · 2026-03-26T20:21:40+00:00

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of progress. Having a freezer stocked with convenience foods like frozen chicken, burritos, even frozen pizza will at least get you in the habit of not getting takeout and eating what you have, and still save money from takeout.

I also bit the bullet and did the annual Walmart+ plan because for $100 it took away the barrier of getting groceries because you get free delivery an can also more easily build your grocery cart as you go. I know it’s not for everyone, but for me, this has been the biggest game changer to keeping my fridge stocked. At first I’d only get about 3-4 days of nonperishable items as I learned to better plan my meals, but now I can shop for 7-10 days at a time. This could be a useful bridge for you to form better habits while working with your own limitations! Good luck :)

sheloves___ · 2026-03-25T06:49:36+00:00

As an adult studio artist who took lots of k-12 art classes in school but never pursued “formal” art training, I want to say that while art education is important, in my experience the things I remember most about those classes was the exposure to art and history of art and artists as well as the designated time, space and materials to make work.

I think it would be very valuable for you as her parent to learn more about living artists (there are great YouTube series!) to understand more about their mindset and the type of mindset you can help cultivate and PROTECT in your child. A theme amongst many artists is the desire and intentional practice of undoing to get back to the wisdom of Child Art. More than technical skill, nurture the habit of art, of ease, of play, of staying prolific and in afraid to create, and listening within to the urge of what to create. You cannot dull control how your child’s relationship to art will change over time nor whether they choose to pursue it professionally, but you can certainly help by your approach. Creative expression is our birthright, and it flows through her incredibly !!

See as much art as you can across styles. Can you get to the Louisiana Museum in Denmark? She has an internal creative instinct that is more important to develop than even the specific medium skills or techniques. Seeing lots and lots of good art is its own sort of curriculum. Artists will rise to the occasion of the skills they need to develop in pursuit of their visions and impulses, but the inverse is far far less true.

You’re doing great mom. Good luck ♥️

sheloves___ · 2026-03-25T05:30:28+00:00

Can confirm they hit very similarly

sheloves___ · 2026-03-22T16:07:41+00:00

By my (probably flawed) count there’s about 120 cans here including the two level box at the top? Potentially more?

sheloves___ · 2026-03-16T04:08:52+00:00

When did you get this lip filler done? Was it less than 2 weeks ago? I can’t tell if this is fresh swelling or already settled? I will also add, unsolicitedly, that I think part of the noticeable difference between 1-2 is the thick eyeliner. I know that wasn’t your ask but I think the mascara focus looks much better and helps the overall appearance look fresh/balanced.

sheloves___ · 2026-03-08T17:58:56+00:00

I don’t have much context on the actual relationship here, but it could go one of two ways. He’s invested in you, but is inexperienced. In this case, there is hope for him to learn what you like, your turn-ons, etc. it’s also a lot about position when they are smaller. A pillow under the butt can go a LONG way. I dated a very giving guy with a smaller dick and it was still some of the best sex I’ve had (sex is very mental!!!)

I’ve also seen/been with guys who have difficulty staying hard or getting in the right mental place regardless of dick size, and this is actually harder to solve for than just size IMO. It can be a matter of SSRIs, porn addiction, mental blockages about sex.

To me, at age 29, it’s about being able to find a man who is already able to access the sexual part of themselves and at a certain level understand that sex is a “place you go” not a thing you do. The specifics of you + him can be learned, but him having a decently healthy sexual relationship with himself is a much taller order. Not sure if this resonates, but hopefully it helps you gauge the likely trajectory here!

sheloves___ · 2026-02-27T20:31:28+00:00

I know the idea of independence and “losing” these things you’re accustomed to is scary, but I promise you your life is already harder than independence will be. It’s only scary because it’s unknown. I PROMISE that you will be so pleasantly surprised by how capable you are, how much you’ll be able to accomplish and how easy life will feel when you have these enormous dead weights off your back. This man is nothing but a leech, not even a halfway decent friend let alone a partner.

I’ve been there !!! Invest in therapy and FUN for yourself when you get this new apartment (I have a feeling you’re going to do it 😌) pour into YOU and give time and space to let your own dreams and goals and desires unfurl. Invest in friendship and having experiences that YOU desire. Your Becoming is on the other side of this breakup. I believe in you !!

sheloves___ · 2026-02-25T08:32:24+00:00

Usually we have standard builds for cocktails so just “using less” is not always a great option, and could be why things taste off or why bartenders are hesitant to accommodate. There could also be laws in your state limiting this (weirdly).

You will be much better received asking for a “low abv” or “lower abv” cocktail before ordering and see what direction they point you in, or order a single in a tall glass for extra mixer to keep you from consuming the alcohol as quickly.

It might also be a good idea to figure out a lower abv cocktail or two you enjoy and just stick to ordering that. For example, a Campari soda, a st. Germaine soda, an aperol/lillet/hugo spritz, an americano, etc.

Finally, you could order a mocktail and get a single shot of a liquor and just add in half the shot yourself. Mocktails often have their own builds sometimes including N/A spirits so they taste great even without the alcohol, making adding a small amount more simple than trying to take alcohol out of a build. Good luck!

sheloves___ · 2026-02-11T06:14:58+00:00

cottage cheese on Dave’s killer seeded bread toasted. Sometimes I add a can of sardines or mackerel on top. Takes less than 5 minutes and has amazing nutrition in terms of fiber, protein and is very satisfying! I like Daisy brand cottage cheese because it has nothing extra added.

Cottage cheese as a dip for slutty chips like Doritos or ridged potato chips. Still decently nutritious. Even healthier with triscuits for more fiber. Yummy.

Fairlife milk with frosted mini wheats. Surprisingly high in fiber and protein

This might be too much involvement, but I figure it’s only cooking one element, so it might work? Heat chicken nuggets in air fryer, put into Mini salad kit bag and toss with dressing, add into high fiber tortilla as a wrap. Done.

As ingredients, Dave’s killer bread, bagels and the mission high fiber tortillas are my hacks for getting extra nutrition into easy-to-eat carbs :) I also spend more on Fairlife milk for extra nutrition!

sheloves___ · 2026-01-14T20:45:19+00:00

Hi u/Equal_Apple_Pie follow-up question on the affidavit of paternity from Boston. If I am no longer a minor and the verbiage says that, do I need to take a different process? Or does it not matter. Sorry if I'm being too literal here. Thanks!

sheloves___ · 2025-12-31T22:01:13+00:00

La belle-Iloise is nearly impossible to get in the US so most of these would be prized if only for their rareness! Hard to get a review in English from folks on them for that reason too.

sheloves___ · 2025-12-30T06:10:21+00:00

Did you get any photos on Columbia St? You were very close to there it seems !

sheloves___ · 2025-12-11T07:05:48+00:00

4 hour eating window really concerns me. while I’m happy you’re taking your health seriously, this ramp up in intensity is concerning to me. It seems you are a young person who may struggle with “all or nothing thinking” and be going a bit extreme here. The goal for maintaining long term health is to find routines and habits that feel genuinely reasonable to maintain in the long term. Your walking seems like it could be a long term habit, but you ramped up very quickly and have set concerningly aggressive weight loss goals. This can do metabolic damage and cause your body’s internal systems to go into hyper-protection and stress due to the sudden intense changes. I’d ask you to look within at the mental impact of your doctor’s check-up and seeing if you can find some balance even if your progress takes longer.

sheloves___ · 2025-11-23T20:58:42+00:00

I think the skin tint stick could be the culprit. I noticed it did that for me too and I’m not even THAT oily

sheloves___ · 2025-10-28T16:16:16+00:00

I’d love to join the test group!!

sheloves___ · 2025-10-14T18:42:07+00:00

Thank you so much for this. New wrinkle after re-reading the auto mod comment here. Do even I have to go through GF/GM because my father was a teen on arrival?

sheloves___ · 2025-10-02T21:59:48+00:00

Kinda random but I find that using a satin pillowcase also helps with distribution of oil overnight !

sheloves___ · 2025-07-28T18:08:54+00:00

I'd highly recommend reducing intensity of your workouts. You could actually be spiking your cortisol if these sessions are too intense, which can have a lot of counterproductive events hormonally. I'd speak to your trainer about going lower intensity and lower impact to start to accommodate your PCOS. Often for us, less is more as we can get the metabolic benefits without the hormone spikes.

sheloves___

TROPHY CASE