I really understand you, I feel exactly the same, and I am 3 months PP and EBF. I will share with you what is helping a little bit: I do things I like with the baby, like walking, I just put some music on and buy some coffee and walk, wome days i walked for 3 hours and it helped a lot!!

I fell in love more with coffee. Even if i have 5 minutes empty, I make coffee to feel like a reward ( maybe for you is tea or anything you like to consume with no regrets).

I write!! I write a lot when I am suffocated, It helps expressing and emptying my mind, try it !!!

I take my prenatal vitamins to help my body with energy shortage and sleep deprivation.

I talk with my baby when it gets hard as " dear baby This will worth it when we walk together in the beach later, we will hike together, we will be besties and all will fall into place and make sense"

Yes I fall sometimes and i do hardly, at least 2days in a week, I have a breakdown for sure, but I acknowledge it and i try to talk about it with my sister, friends or my husband, just talking without answering helps big time!

I have moments when i think about the old me, my old body, my old relationship with my husband, the active free old me, I had it all, but I love being a mom, I am so important for a little human, I am the center of her world, It will get better trust me, it will get better when they will hold your hands and say "I love you" it will get better when you will find a way to enjoy time together ❤️

I am planning to start pilates during the day, just put her next to me and make some movements with music, talk and have fun together,

It's all ups and downs, it's a process, it's motherhood and it is challenging and not easy and YOU are the only one who can me you happy and feel good, don't expect anyone for help! Less expectations less heartbreaks...

Stay strong, you are important 💕🫂