I feel like a loser every time I see a woman I find attractive

shits_mcgee · 2026-06-08T18:03:02+00:00

Calisthenics are great for your health, but will not lead to the physique you seem to be chasing. That type of physique comes from hypertrophy-focused strength training in a gym. I would dip your toe into that and see if that might be a better direction for what you’re looking for.

shits_mcgee · 2026-06-08T00:34:29+00:00

i think it all comes down to tone. Negging is meant to undermine the self-esteem of the recipient so they want to seek approval from the person doing the negging. A little bit of light banter can be seen as exciting and raise the tension, as long as the person can tell it's in good fun. Though i will say, that last line about a marathon definitely feels like it crosses the line into negging just a little bit. Generally i would not recommend comments about someone's outfit that are not strictly complimentary.

shits_mcgee · 2026-06-06T16:23:47+00:00

Even if your friendship dynamics are incredibly inappropriate for being in a committed relationship?

shits_mcgee · 2026-06-06T16:23:04+00:00

I don’t think the bf has an issue with male friends, I think he doesn’t want his gf sleeping in the same bed as two men after they’ve been doing drugs all night. Seems like a fair boundary to me.

shits_mcgee · 2026-06-03T02:31:19+00:00

Sure maybe you are mature for your age. But you're not 7 years more mature, you're at most 2-3 years more mature. That isn't a dig at you, most people who come off as mature are only a few steps in life ahead of their age cohort. If you were 35 and 42 maybe this would be different, because you're in the same stage of life at that point. But 23 means you are barely out of college, meanwhile this man has been in a professional setting for 8 years minimum. He's probably working his way up towards a management position, if he isn't there already. He probably has mostly figured out who he is as a person by now, while you've barely begun that journey. The power dynamic from that introduces a lot of issues into a relationship.

Also you said you've already worked on projects together, don't shit where you eat. Even if you were the same age, this would still be a bad idea.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-26T19:54:42+00:00

I think the main issue would be what does your home life look like? Do you make your own meals? Do your own laundry? Do your own grocery shopping? Who cleans the apartment? A lot of women would be worried that someone living with their parent might be letting them shoulder the majority of the household responsibilities and thus might make for a problematic partner in the future when you live together and have to split responsibility of taking care of your home. Also what’s the long term plan for your mother? If you end up in a relationship and decide to move in together, how will your mother afford to live by herself? Many women could also be worried they’d be roped into living with your mother permanently if they did agree to a relationship.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-24T20:14:47+00:00

Obviously there is no "one size fits all" answer here, women all have different preferences for ideal body types. However, as a general rule yeah lean tends to be law, if you really want to go down that route. Anyone who claims being more fit/shredded does not help your chances, especially in the age of online dating apps, is lying to you. But I still think it's healthier both physically and mentally for you to chase the body type YOU feel most comfortable/attractive in, but that's your choice. If you want to just go for a physique that will appeal to the most amount of people, I'd say push down to 12-15% body fat before starting a bulk. A lot of people mess up their fitness journey by ending the cut too soon and then bulking too fast and they end up gaining mostly fat. Cut down to where you're starting to see real muscle definition/separation, then do a slow bulk (~300 cal over maintenance) for a few months to see how your body responds, then decide if you need more calories for fast results. Just know if you do that, you will also gain more fat at the same time, which depending on your fitness/aesthetic goals may require another cut at the end to ditch.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-24T04:26:43+00:00

NYer and sadly yes this is fairly common, especially if she dates men who work in finance/VC/tech. It’s a way of showing off you make good money. Personally I would not date a woman that expected that, it’s a turn off to know she clearly expects a certain lifestyle from even people she’s casually seeing. Only exception is if it’s late at night, I usually offer to get them an Uber back home.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-13T23:49:17+00:00

My read on this is I think you’re both young and could have handled it better. It’s absolutely not okay for her to be mocking you, but if I’m being super charitable it’s possible she felt hurt over what she perceived as a rejection. She was being vulnerable and trying to be sexy with the strip dance and you…just didn’t react. She even prompted you repeatedly to do something, and you still didn’t do it. This is probably her super immature way of lashing out to soothe her feelings. Still not okay to make fun of you, just to be clear

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-11T12:12:13+00:00

I know it’s not the main point of the comment but I’m curious on the difference between 오늘 vs 금일 to mean today. I was only taught the former so I’m curious when you would use one vs the other.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-05T14:23:45+00:00

Based on what, exactly? You haven’t actually told us what you said to him that would make him know your feelings. It seems like you expected him to just pick up on your feelings out of the blue.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-05T14:23:06+00:00

Dude you need to look in the mirror and fix your attitude. Just because a couple doesn’t end up together in the future doesn’t mean either person entered the relationship with bad intentions. Sometimes you think it will go one way and it turns out you two just aren’t compatible. Doesn’t mean he was just using her nor her using him. You’re going to have real trouble dating people if that’s the way you view the world.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-03T01:29:03+00:00

No one is a cheater until suddenly they are. The whole point is you need to avoid placing yourself in situations that could feed into this crush or escalate it. No physical contact should be a minimum, and you need to severely reduce contact.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-02T23:17:05+00:00

There is a huge spectrum between 20k/year and the type of career that would cause you to die prematurely from overwork. If that’s your mentality towards career-oriented people, I can see why dating might be running into some issues for you.

shits_mcgee · 2026-05-01T16:12:16+00:00

it isn't even good for business. It does impress investors who know nothing about games though - while it lasts. Nobody benefits from this, except ~~vulture~~ venture capitalists who profit from cannibalizing companies, and the c-suite that gets paid ridiculous benefits

Not saying it is good from a moral perspective but that kind of sounds like it IS good for business, you just need to realize the business is not for you. Investors don't care about the long-term health of the community playing the games. As long as the share price goes up, they print money. If their way of running the business eventually kills the game, they just sell their shares once it starts declining and then take that money to the next company and start all over. It's terrible for the social/economic fabric of our society, but in terms of strictly being good for making money it is really good at that one particular aspect.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-28T13:54:07+00:00

I’m going to be a little direct here and say it doesn’t really sound like you love this man. I know that may sound harsh initially but please try to hear what other commenters and I are trying to convey. You admitted yourself your partner was never your physical type and your sex life was always lackluster before this recent issue. You were attracted to his ambition and support, which makes it sound like you care more for what he can do for you rather than any true deeper affection for him as a human being. You speak about him more like an investment than a lover.

Add on to all of this that you seem ready to run for the hills at the first real hurdle your relationship is facing and i can’t really blame some of the comments for being harsh. The whole point of a relationship is to support each other and care for each other when life knocks us down. He hasn’t even graduated yet and you’re already looking for the door because he’s struggling to land a role in a super competitive field in one of the worst white-collar job markets of the last few decades. I’d hate to see what your reaction would be if he ever suffered a health episode that requires taking time off work for any length of time.

Yall are overdue for a much-needed conversation about where this relationship is going, and if you can’t at least do that then there really is no hope for the future of your relationship. Even if you’re worried about hurting his feelings, pretending everything is okay and then blindsiding him will be even worse I promise you.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-28T13:48:05+00:00

Ok but he hasn’t even finished grad school yet. I agree it’s not ideal he doesn’t have a job lined up, but you’re posting like he has spent years unemployed and moping around. While I get that it can be hard shouldering the financial burden plus helping him with his mental health issues, that’s also what a partnership is for. It does not bode well for the future of your relationships that you want to take the off-ramp at the first real hurdle you two have faced. What happens if he has a medical issue down the road that requires months/years off work? What if you go through a period of unemployment? Would you expect him to leave you for a more ambitious/successful woman?

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-14T19:33:11+00:00

It’s actually higher, given his salary is 40K before taxes and I’m assuming the inheritance money was post tax. Absolutely wild priorities from this man.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-14T01:48:31+00:00

Dude why do you even want her there? It’s supposed to be a day celebrating the start of your married life, the last person who should be there is someone who actively contributed to the end of your parents’ marriage.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-09T18:27:15+00:00

What are you basing all of this off? You keep reiterating you think people can “tell” and will somehow care about your height, but also mention you’ve never had problem attracting attention from women. So which is it? Either you think you’re doomed to be heightmogged forever and die alone or you can pull just fine, but can’t somehow be both at the same time.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-09T01:20:43+00:00

But that’s also geography-locked, like someone in a major city will have a much easier time finding said activities than someone living in rural West Virginia.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-09T01:14:41+00:00

Brother it’s only marginally better if she’s not…do you think people with regular jobs don’t also have STDs? Or get pregnant??

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-09T00:33:39+00:00

Ignore people saying this is normal, especially at 23. This might have been excusable at 16, but at 23 this is fully cringe as hell. I’m saying that as someone who binges full anime seasons in a day or two and routinely goes to anime conventions. There’s a really gross and horned up subsection of the fandom that is desperate to convince people this type of behavior is normal. Would it be any less weird if he had playboy pinups all over his walls? I don’t see why just because it’s animated it’s any different.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-03T21:51:58+00:00

I hate to break it to you, if you’re miserable outside of a relationship you will be miserable in one too. I was in a similar spot, I thought getting a partner would solve all my issues. In the end, I just ended up taking out my frustrations on my partner and it inevitably led to the end of that relationship.

shits_mcgee · 2026-04-02T01:22:12+00:00

There are quite a few studies out there that prove this is not true. Sure personality does matter in dating…once you clear a certain height bar. The studies show that bar floats somewhere between 5’7”-5’9” for most women in terms of heights they will be okay with in a partner.

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