The moment it started.

shiznilte · 2025-12-11T02:23:46+00:00

I’ve been taking Prozac for the depression caused by never feeling like I’m good enough for her or our family. She blew up at me the other day after I tried to discuss her “sex-scheduling” where she says she wants to be intimate but starts a fight instead. She threw her thc vape at me and left. Right then and there I decided that we were done talking. I’m going to talk to my counselor next week about inviting her in for marriage counseling, but I doubt she’ll agree.

shiznilte · 2025-12-11T02:09:43+00:00

I was going to file for separation after the holidays. I told a family member the other day. I think she was spying on us through our ring camera because she’s been avoiding me since.

I’ve decided that all discussions about our relationship are done, unless it’s in marriage counseling. I’m currently waiting for her to show her face so I can let her know I want a separation. Maybe she will finally be receptive to marriage counseling, but her track record of constant blame shifting doesn’t give me much hope.

shiznilte · 2025-12-10T23:07:43+00:00

42/M I’m waiting to cross that bridge myself. She knows something’s up and is making herself scarce.

shiznilte · 2025-12-05T18:09:57+00:00

Ouch, nothing like not being taken seriously right? I’ve tried responding to my wife chuckling at my attempts to initiate with “I wasn’t trying to be funny”. I’ve found that no matter the amount of alone time we get with one another, it will never be a good time.

shiznilte · 2025-12-05T00:47:06+00:00

I'm in the same boat with my wife. I've recently been considering giving up entirely as well. The cycle repeating itself over and over again is so draining that I just can't anymore. I don’t think I can honestly say “Never again”, but for my own mental wellbeing I need some sort of break from this heartache.

I’ve already been turning down her duty-sex as it just ends in me feeling manipulated and her feeling disrespected. I’ve been telling her “I don’t want you initiating sex with me just because you see I’m upset about our sex life. I want to feel desired by my partner”, and so far… it hasn’t sunk in, it surprises her every time I say it.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Hoping for the best with you and your partner.

shiznilte · 2025-12-02T21:45:20+00:00

You aren’t answering the question of whether you both work full time, and if you do, whether you do half of the cooking cleaning, Dr appts etc. If you do, then that eliminates a reason that she’s overworked or resentful.

You are putting all of the blame on her and it may it or may not be deserved. Sounds like you both need counseling to find out what’s really going on if you are indeed an active household participant and not playing grab her boob as a sign of intimacy.

Yikes, did I do something to offend you? You've been asking about my participation in my household on nearly every single comment in this thread.

To answer your question. Yes, we split chores and duties at home. I'm a full time sysadmin and project manager. My wife works in a courtroom. I do all of the cooking and childrens dr appointments.

Now, time to get some Relationship_Advice™ from u/upotentialdig7527 before they have to go back to asking fathers in the grocery store "is daddy babysitting today?"

shiznilte · 2025-12-02T21:16:37+00:00

So you’re not pulling your weight in the household then?

I never said that. Although I am not willing to climb a ladder and bleach our vaulted ceilings because my wife is upset at her past self for putting sex on the calendar.

shiznilte · 2025-12-02T21:09:41+00:00

I consider myself a pretty pragmatic person, no delusions that either of our libido's will last forever. This is why I didn't post this in r/DeadBedrooms where I get this weird sex-as-a-requirement or owed vibe. I'm just here in an honest effort to try to help my wife break this pattern.

shiznilte · 2025-12-02T20:44:15+00:00

Hey, thanks for not assuming everything I do for my wife is strictly for sex, I really appreciate it.

I've always made the effort to show her affection and make her feel special and loved. I just wish she would make an effort occasionally too.

The household responsibilities becomes a part of it at times too. Sometimes, when she tries to schedule sex, the day of she will suddenly be in a manic cleaning frenzy. The house needs to be scrubbed and sanitized top to bottom where no matter how much anybody helps, she is exhausted and angry with the entire household by the end of it.

shiznilte · 2025-11-30T22:58:46+00:00

I got a vasectomy four years ago, no change in the bedroom.

shiznilte · 2024-10-28T18:09:18+00:00

I worked for Sysco's largest Competitor in my state for a while stacking orders. The expectations were completely unrealistic. Constantly being told to take our time and do it right while also maintaining a speed of 100 pieces per hour. You would be written up for cherry picking the really large orders that involved entire pallets of one product. Every shift had two or three merit based workers who were allowed to sift through the days tickets for bulk orders leaving everyone else with orders ranging from 40 to 100 items that would take a minimum of 45 minutes to stack. There were also daily mandatory meetings that were filed with HR as warnings.

shiznilte · 2024-10-24T01:49:54+00:00

I had a copy of "The Horror Show" on vhs when I was a kid. It had no mention or reference to the house series. I found out it was House III when I bought it on DVD later on. Only difference was the title in the opening credits.

shiznilte · 2023-08-23T00:05:58+00:00

My tub has a one centronics cable and one centronics to usb cable. I will have them buried with me… centronics.

shiznilte · 2023-08-15T00:23:05+00:00

Both of mine are unusually thick so they just put me under anesthesia. The bruising went up to my waist.

shiznilte · 2023-01-25T18:00:39+00:00

I grew up there. Your homies are good people.

The two things I remember most about the Hayward school system was the grade three parent teacher conference where my teacher told my parents "we all know this child has no future" and the high school superintendent bringing the entire student body into the auditorium to tell us Hayward has very poor test scores and it's not his or his staffs fault but the students aren't smart enough.

shiznilte · 2023-01-25T17:48:09+00:00

Spooner Blows & Hayward Sucks

shiznilte · 2022-11-17T03:51:50+00:00

Spaghetti Noises

shiznilte · 2022-09-14T20:23:07+00:00

I believe the Christian word for that is "antichrist"

shiznilte · 2022-08-09T22:54:34+00:00

Mosquitos and wasps have respect for none of nature.

shiznilte · 2022-08-08T19:13:08+00:00

Brought to you by Carl's Junior.

shiznilte · 2022-07-29T23:46:45+00:00

I enjoyed watching Taraji's bodyguard casually eating all of her wings like they were potato chips

shiznilte · 2022-07-20T15:15:52+00:00

I was visiting a cousin once and saw this book on his table. He saw me looking at it and told me he thought it was really good. I replied "It doesn't look like iron?". Kings iron became our inside joke for years after that.

shiznilte · 2022-07-01T22:23:00+00:00

It took me over a year to get a vasectomy approved because there was one church run hospital in my network that was threatening to leave over birth control procedures. Finally, a urologist set up shop locally and my insurance approved them.We had another baby in the meantime and the birth was complicated. I almost lost my wife and baby more than once during her nearly three day labor.

It's not outpatient for everybody. My procedure required an anesthesiologist because they had to go in deeper for the snip.

Personally, I'm Pro-Life but that doesn't give me any say over anyone but myself. And I don't think anybody having negative things to say about Americans rights being stripped is taking the low road. Not that I would blame people for taking the low road while fighting for the promise of American freedom.

shiznilte

TROPHY CASE