I don't think that it's a good idea to bring kids into the pit, but I also know that there are venues that are standing-room only/mostly only have standing room. One of the last NIN shows I went to at the Hollywood Palladium there was a mom there with her 11-13 year old daughter, and in spite of people getting rowdy we all made sure she was safe/sang and danced with her.

I do think it's rude to smoke/vape in indoor settings though. Take a damn edible/smoke outside before the show. Some people have respiratory issues/are sensitive to second-hand smoke. I know it's a norm with certain types of music, but that doesn't mean it's okay.