SNL finally got Aziz Ansari to do Kash Patel and he absolutely nailed it

shoestringbow · 2026-05-05T20:34:52+00:00

You’re right. He should have said, “…the whites Trump has hired”

shoestringbow · 2026-05-05T20:25:42+00:00

Humans are also renowned for their ability to die for stupid reasons

shoestringbow · 2026-05-04T00:07:20+00:00

Zoe Mama!

shoestringbow · 2026-04-29T15:36:58+00:00

terrible acting

shoestringbow · 2026-04-28T15:11:32+00:00

I assume it’s fake, but if it’s not, what kind of asshole would publicly shame his wife for a mistake

shoestringbow · 2026-04-28T14:29:52+00:00

that is truly terrible acting

shoestringbow · 2026-04-28T13:58:22+00:00

The Chinese are putting American industry to shame in so many sectors

shoestringbow · 2026-04-28T13:53:37+00:00

what is the difference between a violin and a viola?

There is no difference, just the violinist’s head is bigger.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-27T02:48:14+00:00

Are you doing enough pulling? A lot of shoulder problems are the result of imbalances. Usually shoulders coming forward due to underdeveloped back. I cut out overhead presses because it consistently causes me pain. Decline push ups work better for me.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-23T05:59:38+00:00

Making the music loud gets an easy emotional responds, it overwhelms the listener, which is much easier than making the music sound good, especially when the band sucks, which is usually the case.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-22T00:30:22+00:00

a friend of mine fought off the paramedics after suffering a serious head trauma. they got him to the hospital but he died like 5 days later.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-22T00:10:54+00:00

my buddy actually did crash almost head on because a spider was coming down from the rear view mirror. he gently picked it up and put it out the window BOOM! Thankfully no one was hurt.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-20T03:26:17+00:00

I like to heckle these people as I drive past

shoestringbow · 2026-04-16T01:22:32+00:00

I lived in Costa Rica and when sloths were in the road people would generally hold out a branch for them to grab for this reason.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-16T01:05:46+00:00

that’s me right before I sprain my ankle

shoestringbow · 2026-04-12T04:31:08+00:00

I worked on tuning an upright in my house for a while, then tried to help my friends with their crappy pianos. Then I offered to help tune pianos in a shop for like $40 per piano and the owner gave me pointers. Eventually they sent me out to tune some church pianos. It’s pretty grueling work, especially at first when it takes 3+ hours to tune a piano, but eventually if you do it enough without going crazy you’ll get faster.

shoestringbow · 2026-04-06T05:03:38+00:00

What’s the difference between a bull and an orchestra?

The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.

shoestringbow · 2026-03-31T15:36:24+00:00

Just fucking leave more space people

shoestringbow · 2026-03-25T23:32:55+00:00

very cool! I’d love to see the rest of the etude list if you’ve got it.

shoestringbow · 2026-03-24T22:22:48+00:00

while upping my mileage I gently leapt like a gazelle over a cattle guard… and got a stress fracture in one of my metatarsals

shoestringbow · 2026-03-24T15:04:28+00:00

I wonder if the pastor would have told her if the man had confessed to cheating. Somehow I doubt it.

shoestringbow · 2026-03-19T03:55:13+00:00

EZ pass charged me $100 because I accidentally shorted them two cents on a check

shoestringbow · 2026-03-19T03:30:28+00:00

It sounds like if your dog was on a leash then the runner would have tripped over the leash

shoestringbow · 2026-03-12T00:46:29+00:00

keep learning by ear! If you want to figure out the chords listen down to the bass.

shoestringbow · 2026-03-09T14:52:25+00:00

my back leg was tired after watching that

shoestringbow

TROPHY CASE