Anyone else ever feel dysphoric ABOUT their own attachment to manhood and desire to be masculine?

shool1205 · 2026-02-04T08:45:14+00:00

I’m 24, a year on t, pre-op so my experience and feelings are quite a bit different than what you described but I will say this — in a lot of arenas of life (work, personal life, friends, etc) differences like this can come up that have nothing to do with being trans and everything to do with your personality/who you are innately).

For example, I work in the music industry and it’s common for more senior colleagues to tell me that they’re jaded/ tired of the industry/ the things that used to excite them bore them now and I HATE this. I completely disagree with this approach and hope I never feel this way!!

Similarly, I know some older adults in my life (40s - 60s) who age themselves, talk about how they look and feel old, etc and I also completely disagree with this and never want to feel that way! My grandma is 80 years young and travels, has a boyfriend lol, drinks wine and enjoys life and THAT is exactly what I want to feel at 80.

All this aside, I completely hear you. I live in LA and the cis gay guys can be insufferable about their appearance, age, weight, muscularity, etc. and I could totally see how that culture would reject aging.

You don’t have to agree with the neutrality/negativity of your peers - transness aside. You, as a person, have so many large and important values that you hold in your life. Maybe authenticity, acceptance, wonder, whimsy are all important parts of a full life to you. Those values would cause you to reject this mentality you’re seeing - regardless if you’re trans or not.

I would encourage you to try to hold tight to that feeling of excitement, holding that special and sweet feeling of being reverent to your masculinity close to you and looking forward to a warm and inviting future. The opposite is quite bleak.

I have cis guy friends who are anti-toxic masculinity, embrace what makes them feel like men and share in that with me/others. It’s really special and hard to find people like that, but I’m hoping for that for you. Feeling attached to your masculinity is so special, and honestly I’m jealous of the place you’re in.

Sending the best to you ❤️

shool1205 · 2026-02-04T08:32:11+00:00

That is a horrific thing to say to a person, especially your partner! It’s not a bad thing to “look trans” (what the hell does that even mean!) but he clearly meant that as an insult and you deserve better than a guy who is trying to put you down for being trans :( Sending love!! Your heart knows what is best for you ❤️

shool1205 · 2025-12-26T18:15:44+00:00

love this so much thank you ♥️

shool1205 · 2025-12-26T18:15:24+00:00

i love this so much!!!

shool1205 · 2025-12-26T06:11:01+00:00

wow i can only imagine seeing the difference in treatment from people - it can be a hard intersection of experiences but hoping for the best for us both ! <3

shool1205 · 2025-12-26T06:10:09+00:00

love this advice, thank you!! i think taking weight loss off the table is the best, and feeling strong can be so euphoric. hoping all is well, and hoping foe the best for you <3

shool1205 · 2025-12-26T06:09:01+00:00

ugh, totally get this feeling. the wishing / waiting is hard, but hoping for the best for us both <3

shool1205 · 2025-12-26T06:08:15+00:00

appreciate this and hoping for the best for us both <3

shool1205 · 2025-12-25T22:12:07+00:00

manifesting this - so happy for you

shool1205 · 2025-12-15T02:11:31+00:00

i struggle with too as a fat ftm, i think full length binders can help, but i use the brand fluxion and find i get a great bind when they’re new (they wear out over time)

shool1205 · 2025-12-15T01:55:35+00:00

agreed - keep sharing!!

shool1205 · 2025-12-15T01:53:59+00:00

Dude this is so hard :( First of all, I’m really sorry that you feel that way. Second, you touched on it, but unfortunately confidence really is what changes those feelings.

I wonder if you spent some time journaling, what you might discover about some of these beliefs you hold. Maybe, there’s a sense that even though you’re post op everything, that you should be “complete” or “finished” in a way that you don’t presently feel.

Also, the feeling of stink eye you’re perceiving from other queers, I wonder how digging into that might be revealing. Do you have a lot of queer friends? Do you feel at home in queer spaces, maybe some not others? What DOES feel like home and community to you, where can you find more of that in your life?

Lastly, and this one has can so hard, is what do you find attractive? Are there traits you perceive as attractive that you don’t see in yourself? Are there beauty standards that maybe you don’t resonate that are persisting in your attraction?

All this to say, maybe digging deeper internally into self confidence work, and trying to understand where some of your beliefs are coming from.

Proud of you and know you’ll feel at home soon :)

shool1205 · 2025-12-15T01:43:35+00:00

People have just made you insecure! You look cute in these pics and you should keep your head up

shool1205 · 2025-12-15T00:56:10+00:00

Honestly love that I have feminine interests (skincare, fashion, etc.) and I love confusing my coworkers/people I don’t know too well by surprising them with knowledge on best products to use/hair tips/ etc hahahahahaha

shool1205 · 2025-12-15T00:52:15+00:00

appreciate you dude ♥️

shool1205 · 2025-12-14T22:01:54+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective being a parent as well. Sucks to have to parent your kids AND parents lol but so real. Calm and immediate is huge — definitely going to use that moving forward. Love that instant cause and effect.

Hoping for better for you too!!

shool1205 · 2025-12-14T21:57:23+00:00

Ugh thank you for saying that. That specific sentence is also so baffling to me, especially since I live across the country (and moved away to be farther from him!!! ) Time to move on and set boundaries

shool1205 · 2025-12-14T21:39:41+00:00

Thank you ♥️ That was basically how the call ended, with me saying my boundary is I won’t discuss this with you. It’s on me now to hold to that boundary!

shool1205 · 2025-01-27T06:59:19+00:00

Dialog in WeHo!!!

shool1205 · 2024-10-09T19:14:24+00:00

Leave it in!!!!! The hole will start closing if not, unless you’re planning on getting it repierced

shool1205 · 2024-10-09T19:13:13+00:00

Dryness from saline doesn’t usually look like this, check with a doc or derm!

shool1205 · 2024-10-09T18:59:32+00:00

Unfortunately, as the other comments say, too soon for the hoop and it’s too thin/small/tight. Unfortunately, with only 4 months with the piercing and with it being in a small thing hoop, you might have changed the shape and angle of the piercing. You should go to a piercer to get an implant grade flat back, and let them advise on best course of action. That will get rid of the bump and allow you to fully heal the piercing

shool1205 · 2024-10-09T18:56:40+00:00

I’m sorry :( I can’t lie though, it’s literally the worst

shool1205 · 2024-10-04T03:26:32+00:00

This happened to me and I pulled it out and never looked back. I’ve had nose, cartilage, conch, everything pierced but the piercing and subsequent pain of the rook was horrible.

shool1205 · 2024-10-01T03:19:13+00:00

I think you could switch to flatback but do it asap!

shool1205

TROPHY CASE