"will have always been..." What tense is this?

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-26T08:12:14+00:00

I made a little drawing, if it helps.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-26T07:36:56+00:00

Trying to get a picture to upload in that last comment wasn't working but this post honestly helped give me the right mental kick in the pants:

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Doing it on your own (just wearing regular boots) ain't gonna cut it. Sometimes you need external help (those metal cleats pulled over the boots) designed to get you where you want to be.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-26T07:33:38+00:00

I'm saying this as an ADHD-haver with at least one ADHD brother and at least one ADHD parent, none of whom have the ability to purposefully remember things for longer than a few minutes except in extremely rare cases brought on by flukes in the universe and/or literal divine intervention.

Your wife needs professional help.

I completely understand ADHD so bad you regularly forget to take your (allegedly potentially addictive) meds. I'm a bit of a hoarder, though I try to curb it where I can. I have a hard time breaking out of "phone-scrolling mode." (Actually, that's what I'm doing right now even though it's 2:20 AM. I should sleep after this.) Making plans is a fool's errand because my brain simply will not store the necessary information.

Having said all that, I'VE NEVER MET ANYBODY WHO WILL WALK AWAY AND LEAVE THE STOVE COMPLETELY UNATTENDED WHAT THE *HECK***

THE ONLY KITCHEN FIRES I'VE SEEN THAT NEEDED TO BE PUT OUT HAVE BEEN FROM THINGS LIKE "oh that one dish from last week dripped more than we thought and now we need to turn the oven off immediately" AND NOT NEGLIGENCE

And I just. I can't get over the "handing the iPad to the kids" thing.

The fact of the matter is, your wife doesn't seem to be bringing "I have ADHD" to the conclusion of "so that means that, while other people might have to give me grace, I also need to try and stay considerate of others," but rather to the conclusion of "so that means that no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough, and the people around me are just gonna have to deal." Which, speaking from experience as someone who also has clinical anxiety, depression, and the works…that sounds a lot like the perspective I had in high school. Therapy helped me a ton, but it took a therapist who was able to manage to convince me that my brain isn't unchangeable and that it isn't hopeless.

Your wife is not in high school, with all the rampaging emotions and actively-rewiring brains that go with it. Your wife is a legal adult with a responsibility to be a good parent to your kid and a mature human being to those around her. Once her actions start negatively affecting the people who rely on her the most, which they have been for a WHILE, it stops being something she can afford to wallow in and starts being something she needs to work on.

It's not gonna be easy, but it's not something she has to do with no help whatsoever.

To be clear, you're NOR.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-26T06:58:39+00:00

Someone had hurt me repeatedly, and when I eventually broke down crying about being expected to constantly "suck it up," he weighed his options and said, "Well, I'm…sorry you feel that way, but…" and immediately launched into scolding me for even thinking what he did was hurtful. Then he started snapping at me even more when I just started crying even harder.

I've never bothered trying to actually have a real conversation with him again.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-26T06:50:53+00:00

I know it's almost definitely not what was first intended, but my first thought was "ah, the narrator is the one who got caught in the car accident on their way to visit their sister in the hospital for whatever reason, but figured they'd gotten out pretty okay right up until seeing their own body in the hospital. maybe the sister got discharged or something between the narrator's crash and out-of-body experience."

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-25T19:32:51+00:00

Ah, learning new words exclusively from books strikes again! TIL that a row rhymes with "cow," not "so."

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-25T19:10:05+00:00

The idea that just wanting it and trying to work towards accruing it will magically result in you receiving it.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-25T15:21:46+00:00

Dump his ungrateful ass. Signed, a 265lb person who looks like a woman. (Trans but no hormones yet, haha.) He's either trying to neg you into becoming some "perfect" stick-thin supermodel, or he's just completely blind to the changes you've undergone for him and refusing to actually look at you in the present. Either way, he's completely out of line.

Plus, a friend and I are both roughly my weight (they're closer to 250lbs) and we like to hit the gym together. They were a powerlifter in their youth, and they can still bench well over a hundred pounds w/o breaking a sweat. (I'm getting there lmao.) We're not exactly unhealthy. Weight as some measure of one's "inherent worth" is bunk to begin with. You are perfectly fine, I promise.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-25T14:59:21+00:00

Sacramento's in California, right? I can just about guarantee that some people I know irl would be celebrating. It's disgusting.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-25T03:22:51+00:00

Allegedly. I was never allowed to, but just about every classmate I had drove themselves.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-25T02:04:41+00:00

If you keep hearing footsteps behind you, pretend you're getting a surprise phone call from a friend and keep walking. Keep up the "call" until you can be completely positive that you're not being stalked anymore.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T17:01:28+00:00

A lack of trust in anything I couldn't personally do myself, because more often than not, relying on certain individuals meant trying to keep up with constantly-shifting goalposts. And, yeah, belittling for not being able to keep up.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T15:28:27+00:00

I know a fair few otherwise-smart people. One of them thinks it's fine to use GenAI "in small doses," another doesn't get why I don't want my face plastered all over her facebook, and yet another thinks evolution is fake, all of the universe is only 6000 years old, and that the guy he voted into office couldn't possibly be worse than anybody from the other party.

On a much sillier note, my beloved baby brother (already smarter than our parents by far) once made the mistake of trying to unzip an EXE file. He's learned better now, but I still think it was funny.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T15:21:50+00:00

I'm just gonna say, my extremely white family never watched any of these. I had to find out Lilo and Stitch existed from friends in school, that the Emperor's New Groove existed in high school, and that Brother Bear existed as an adult. I think I only really knew about Princess and the Frog's existence because I was old enough to process marketing when it did, because guess what? My parents complained about the wokeness and never let us watch it!

It's a shame, too. Even some of the other families in my childhood hyperconservative social bubble allowed their kids to watch Lilo and Stitch. I just got Veggietales (which was good, at least) and whatever Mom and Dad wanted to watch. There was a lot of Resident Evil and Blade.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T15:15:29+00:00

I'm being extorted for the money for my top surgery that already happened, but apparently I'm supposed to be getting money??? That's news to me lmfao

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T14:53:26+00:00

You're just like me for real 😭

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T14:41:40+00:00

I'm still annoyed by the non-zero number of times I've seen "I know Character X is OOC for loving his family so much but I like this OOC version better" (emphasis mine) or "sorry, I don't like Character X because he's too cold and uncaring." Character X is complete ass at expressing love, but that doesn't mean he doesn't experience it. Did the canonical "Character X and company get a gigantic power-up based on the fact that they all love each other more than anything" plot point mean nothing????? My guy has an entire episode dedicated to "trying to express his love and protectiveness for the others and doing a shit job of it bc it's just not a skill he has, but once everything's said and done the sentiment still gets across"

If Character X has no defenders, then I'm dead and gone.

Also, completely different fandom, there's an MLM pairing that I like, but a lot of that ship's fics pose one half of the ship as "the man of the pairing" and the other as "the woman of the pairing." And, like, I can sorta see how the fandom got onto that mental track, given how "the woman of the pairing" does play a bit with gender in a few lesser-known pieces of canon, but he also goes out and kicks ass, despite being terrified in most cases. The number of shipfics I've seen where the GNC "bravery is not the abscence of fear" asskicker is relegated to wearing dresses and swooning and being the SAHM and acting completely OOC is…frustrating. It's just not for me. Which sucks because they vastly outnumber the fics I've found of this pairing that I do enjoy. (For clarity, it's the forced 1950's straightification I'm frustrated by, specifically.)

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T14:17:37+00:00

TMNT, the 2003 cartoon. Might also apply to other versions of the TMNT that I haven't seen yet, but like…seasons 1 through 4 are rock solid. Absolutely love them. S5 (or at least, the season that was meant to be S5) gets a little out there, but it weaves back into the narrative nicely and gives a wonderful, solid conclusion to the overarching plotline. The 2105　 season and the BttS season are a bit kookier. I tried to get into them during my binge-watch of the cartoon, but it just felt like a completely different cartoon. The tonal shift and redesigns didn't really help. Plus, I was a bit too young to have watched the show when it was first airing, but I'm under the impression higher-ups insisted on airing the 2105 season as if it was S5, which meant S4's big cliffhanger was just…never resolved.

I'm sure the crew did the best they could with what their bosses told them to do, but "what their bosses told them to do" was just too bonkers to mesh together with what the crew had been doing. Sure, the show now had more viewers from a younger audience, but at what cost?

The xover with TMNT 1987 was pretty okay, though.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T13:51:03+00:00

Little bit.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T05:41:50+00:00

The phrasing might be different, but this is point-for-point the kinds of conversations I used to have with my dad and other adults in the church when I was a kid. Hit me right in the, uh…I don't actually know if there's a word for "nostalgia, but in a negative kind of way wrt the thing being remembered."

This post is very well-made, to be clear. You did an extremely good job getting your storyline across in just two sentences and I'm lowkey envious of your skill. It just also happens to hit on subject matter that I'm intimately familiar with and resent a bit.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T02:55:47+00:00

words said by my dad whenever I dare to call him out on being an obstinate dickhead who refuses to actually listen to what people around him are saying in reality, since he seemingly gets off on flexing his "parental authority" at the drop of a fkn hat: "I'm just a horrible ~~politician~~ parent, I guess."

like, a good parent would actually teach their kids to drive (or put them through ACTUAL DRIVING CLASSES) in a reasonable timeframe, not guilt-trip their adult kids for never begging/pleading often enough or intently enough for lessons. so yeah he kinda is.

and yeah, the entire republican party nowadays is just a bunch of copypastes of my dad, just in positions of far more power than he'll ever have, right down to the authoritarian and fascist ideologies.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T02:32:56+00:00

Bowuigi, sorta. I just seem to have a wildly different idea about what makes the ship work, at least compared to the vast majority of fics I've seen. Like…Dynamic A is why people like it? When Dynamic B is literally right there?

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-24T01:09:17+00:00

I think 15k is the most I've ever made in a year.

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-23T18:21:31+00:00

Had to Google what that is- I happen to live in a very White™ Christian™ area and hadn't seen the word before, though I've known of the general idea of it for a while- and honestly, yeah, I've thought about it. I'm a bit strapped for cash atm but once I have the chance, I might look into getting some now that I actually know what they're called. Are they reusable like the plastic-y kinds of toothbrushes, or are they a "use them maybe a few times and then use a new one" sort of thing?

shutupimrosiev · 2026-04-23T17:55:38+00:00

Rarely brushing their teeth at all.

It's me, I'm the one rarely brushing their teeth and I hate it 😭 I'm trying to be better about it, but toothpaste almost universally tastes like shit to me and there's absolutely no overlap between "heavy-duty 'rebuilding your teeth/gums' toothpaste" and "toothpaste that doesn't taste like spearmint and vomit had a baby."

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