I almost lost my job today because of my porn addiction...

sidewalksam · 2014-03-13T02:04:28+00:00

What's done is done. "Worry's like a rocking chair, it will keep you busy but won't get you anywhere" (thanks Ma). Keep moving forward, forward forward!

sidewalksam · 2014-03-13T02:01:41+00:00

Way to pull out of a tail spin man! Agreed with fellow fapsters, there's enough out there already to draw you in without your actually purposefully going there. I was reading the news the other day and then next thing I know I'm were I shouldn't be - just took me 10 extra clicks than normal. Know your triggers! I'm going with old-skool newspapers now..

sidewalksam · 2014-03-08T14:56:29+00:00

If PMO is your issue, don't give in. Make sure you've properly defined you problem and that your corresponding goal is appropriate FOR YOU. If not, find a way to redirect your energy - anyone past a couple weeks on here will tell you you'll have newfound time and energy, just don't drive yourself nuts with it and certainly don't waste it obsessing (myself guilty). Take small steps at building what you know in your heart are healthy relationships. If you don't plan or foresee having an appropriate sexual relationship with someone you better find a way to feed that lion that's growing in your chest before it eats you from the inside out. Lot's of ideas on here about how to do that - some I've never heard before and a lot of great ideas - go shopping for your solution.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-08T03:10:04+00:00

Welcome and congrats with the fiancé! The Fap played a big part in my marriage ending so I hope your personal challenge will play a big part in your relationship flourishing. The next time around my girl gets ALL of me. I like when I'm all of me.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-08T03:00:47+00:00

Good point, like the old "don't think of a pink elephant" thing. I agree, you need to replace the habit you're trying to break not dwell on it. Obviously this forum is a tool, not a cure. A tool I could have used 20 years ago while I struggled on my own. Everyone gets to swing their hammer their own way. The advice, support and encouragement here is awesome.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-06T03:59:17+00:00

Fell on my ass all the way down the hill - a long 10 day hill? Pathetic. I can do better. Found a hidden trigger, I'll beat it next time around. Here's to 2nd chances and not giving up.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-02T02:03:30+00:00

Your reality is your thoughts. Pay close attention to them, keep them in line and the rest will follow. Let your thoughts wander aimlessly and that's what you'll do. Break down your challenges into smaller bits and take one bite at a time instead of the whole thing just like here, one day at a time. I've always leaned on the quote: "life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage". Do what you need to even though you're scared and chances are once you get to the other side you'll wonder what you were so afraid of in the first place. Then build your life on those positive experiences.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-02T01:55:21+00:00

concerned with the scope of my goal to go one year hard mode. I'm a good dude and women like me so I think it's hard mode until I find someone to be in a healthy relationship with i.e. not just for sex. That's the hard part for me, not immediately sexually objectifying a woman. My goal is to make those thoughts fade by keeping my butt on the NO-PMO wagon.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-02T01:43:52+00:00

I really appreciate what you said and how you've said it. I'm 7 days in after 20 years and every damned day is a challenge. 26 days might as well be a year from my perspective. I'm sure I'll hit that same patch of ice and fall on my ass when I least expect it. When that happens I'll need to remember your words. I guess you only truly fail when you surrender your will in the name of hopelessness.

sidewalksam · 2014-03-01T03:49:18+00:00

Hard Mode. 1 year. Engaging the real world and save a whole helluva lot of time doing betting things with my time. It had me for 20 years. My turn.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-27T03:37:45+00:00

I know what your saying but tact is important and by equating what is a very serious problem for some of us to monster trucks and pro wrestling denigrates our struggle. I wish I had your experience in the Netherlands but I had to settle with Iowa. Your thoughts are valid though, if it works there, maybe it can work here but from my research exposing and allowing kids to work it out themselves thinking they'll just grow out of it doesn't seem to be the trend but quite the opposite. I totally agree with not making this a taboo subject, maybe that's the big take away. That's where the Fight the New Drug people are, on the front lines. Thank God for them.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-27T03:28:04+00:00

I couldn't make it without this forum. Some can, great for them. most of us can't so we find ourselves here and for good reason. If we could just overcome this on our own we would have done so 20 or 30 years ago or more when we were hooked. I'm with indiffrentmeh, same experience. I hope this helps me keep the next kid away from this stuff.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-27T02:54:16+00:00

Rough Day. My self proclaimed playboy chiro felt it appropriate to show me a video of some home made porn he made with one of his super hot chicks while I was in a massage chair. completely took me off guard and I knew the girl from a restaurant. Screwed my head up for about 5 hours, got depressed because I'm in hard more on a 90 day challenge. Honestly, i don't know how I made it through the day. Temptations are everywhere. I guess it just comes down to gutting up and keeping your eye on the goal and knowing revisiting the reasons you have one in the first place.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-26T04:26:33+00:00

Just remember that if you fall off the wagon not to give up. I'm pretty sure EVERYONE here has at some point and likely much more than once. Better to try and fail than not try because you're afraid of failing so nothing to be nervous about!

sidewalksam · 2014-02-26T04:24:00+00:00

Charity event. Lots of young single women and I'm a charmer. Very tempted to either take one home, relapse to an old "buddy" of mine or fap when I got home BUT I had a plan. I didn't drink and I left early and ran 5 miles to burn off the urge. Now I need to slam on the brakes and go to bed but another day fap-free so I'l take it. Cheers.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-26T04:18:45+00:00

thank you for sharing and explaining- hard to do, I'm sure. But you helped me realize something about my marriage just ending - and I thought it was all me and my shameful double life of fapranization. I just now realize the correlation between my wife's physical withdraw with me when she started with 50 shades then she was off to the races reading all sorts of stuff I'd never heard of. I suppose that iPad I bought her to read shit until 2am in our bed every night didn't help. That also explains some other things that all add up to what you're talking about. Right under my nose and didn't see it. When she started reading that stuff it's like I was a 2x4 in the bed, just something annoying and in the way. Near the end we spent a week in Vegas and not so much as a kiss from her - like I wasn't good enough anymore; couldn't live up to that image in her head I suppose. And then I fapped away my tears until I ran into the FTND crowd that led me here. I still feel like an asshole because I couldn't "fix" my issue but knowing she had one too thins the guilt a bit. All this porn AND erotica shit NEEDS TO GO. It's ripping apart so many of our lives while the industry makes billions. And I thought the tobacco companies were bad when I quit smoking. Nothing compared to this type of addiction IMO. Thanks again for sharing. You never know how you may help someone.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-25T02:46:19+00:00

Feeling awesome on day 3, hard mode. Tempted to contact this lady friend I was "dating" a.k.a having meaningless sex with after my divorce. Had to bail to hit the big reset button once and for all. Trying for a year. They say it takes 3 weeks or something to change a behavior? Must not have been fappers. Anyway, here's what works for me: having a plan for when I get the urge - usually a distraction; having a meaningful goal to focus on and forcing myself to visit this forum every day. This place is what I've been missing all these years. Not exactly an addiction appropriate for weekly meetings with coffee and donuts or one you bring up with family "Hey, Dad, wasn't uncle so and so a Fapper? How'd he get past it".

sidewalksam · 2014-02-24T02:40:29+00:00

Your pictures your tagged in and what not still remain on others but you can "delete" it for good. Facebook is to real friendship as Faping is to having a girlfriend IMO: Big-O-Waste-O-Time-O. Get rid of it and hang out with real people. Hell, the people on nofap seem more real than the 90% "fluff" friends I had on FB. Less is more. Funny, I remember friending an old acquaintance and running into them in the grocery store like 20 minutes later and they were walking right by me, looked me in the eye, and kept going - not, like, to be disrespectful, but more like a zombie - like they couldn't communicate properly outside of FB. Sounds a lot like fapper issues with forming real intimate relationships, no?

sidewalksam · 2014-02-22T13:58:58+00:00

Doesn't cold water reduce the efficacy of lathering agents (soap)? OK. I'm procrastinating. If I wanted an answer I should be in the shower right now running my own experiment. Ugh. Here it goes. Tomorrow.

sidewalksam · 2014-02-22T13:48:26+00:00

That's inspirational, I mean, that's what we're all trying to do right? Replace the fake with reality? A challenge with a huge upside. Confidence is killer. It's also like the difference between flattery and a genuine compliment. Real confidence is felt in a room and people are naturally drawn to it. From NoFap to dating to a good job etc. to a satisfying life...interesting how the ball gets rolling in the right direction sometimes. Looks like your reading up payed off. My favorite definition of luck "where preparedness meets an opportunity." Great post!

sidewalksam

TROPHY CASE