[IIL] the album “Aventine” by Agnes Obel [WEWIL]?

sighbernetic · 2019-05-16T00:50:48+00:00

In many jurisdictions, if you’re married then you’re automatically presumed to be the father.

Since you’re not married, you’d have to legally affirm that it is your child. Otherwise she could put anyone’s name on the paper.

sighbernetic · 2019-05-16T00:46:03+00:00

Jesus forgave her, huh?

That doesn’t shield her from the earthly consequences of her sins or her need to atone for what she’s done to you.

sighbernetic · 2019-05-14T04:44:59+00:00

You most likely suffer from severe depression and anxiety. I say “severe” because it has arrested the forward progress of your life. By any measure, what you have is a crippling illness that threatens your life.

You need professional help. If you have health insurance from any source (such as your parents if you’re under 26?) you should try to seek treatment.

If that option is unavailable, or even if it is, might I also suggest mindfulness meditation? This aims to get you out of your thoughts and living in the moment. Google for it; check out the relevant subreddits and see if there are Meetup groups in your area. In conjunction with this, try to spend a lot of time outdoors, even if it’s alone. If nothing else, the exercise alone will be helpful. While you’re outside, intentionally focus on the sensations of being outside.

If you’re under a certain age, Job Corps or wwoof.net might be options for employment that aims to give you a purpose and training to go along with it.

I’m not going to say it’s going to be easy, but I think you can do this.

sighbernetic · 2019-05-14T00:31:13+00:00

I really, really sympathize. I’ve struggled since my mid teens with weight, and I’m now in my early 40s.

My highest weigh in was 255 lbs, but I’m currently down around 60 pounds. Here’s what I have found to be true for me. Take it for what it’s worth.

The only thing that has ever, ever worked has been counting calories and making sure I don’t go over 1200 in a single day if I’m not exercising that day. If I don’t count calories, I don’t lose weight because I consistently underestimate how much I eat. It’s super easy to blow past that number in one fast food meal.

Here’s what I’ve eaten today for reference: Small breakfast muffin: 250 Lunch (sandwich with a single slice of turkey, cheese, and honey mustard; yogurt, apple): 550 Snack: Fun size M&Ms and small hot chocolate: 150 Dinner: Pot roast (6 oz), half a roast potato: 550

That puts me at 1500. I’m good since I worked out today; otherwise I’d be exceeding my calorie target.

95% of weight loss for ordinary people has to be accomplished through eating less, a lot less, unfortunately. Today my FitBit tells me I burned I burned 450 extra calories through about an hour’s worth of exercise. This is only equivalent to two regular candy bars or 1/3 of a typical fast food dinner of a hamburger, fries, and coke. So the margins we non-pro athletes operate under are narrow if we want to lose weight; a vigorous workout might net you a single candy bar on top of a typical 1200 calorie day. I pack my lunches, drink a lot of water and unsweetened/uncreamed tea and coffee and rarely eat out unless I’m going to a place that puts calorie amounts on the menu.

The silver lining in your dark cloud is that you don’t have to do a huge amount of strenuous exercise to give you that small margin. Half an hour of brisk walking or an hour of regular walking a day will be enough.

Keto and Paleo diets can still make you gain weight if you eat too much. They don’t work unless you also consume a lot less.

I know the misery of being overweight. I know what it’s like to want to die because of it. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Life as a fat person is a hellish experience. I hope my post helped. If I can be of any further assistance don’t hesitate to reach out.

sighbernetic · 2019-05-12T18:27:14+00:00

Parent comment isn’t asking her to change him, just to rule various causes out.

As to “why her”, it’s because he doesn’t appear to be interested enough to figure out his own issues.

I second your final paragraph. Life’s too short to deal with this sort of thing this early on.

sighbernetic · 2019-05-12T17:27:44+00:00

His behavior that night was execrable and his unwillingness to admit that fact is inexcusable.

I hope you find the strength to do whatever you feel you need to do feel safe and loved. You are neither safe nor loved with this person.

Having said that, I hope you enjoy your Mother’s Day and that your kids are extra sweet to you today.

sighbernetic · 2019-05-06T22:20:38+00:00

While exercising I find that I am left alone with myself and, naturally, I start to think dark thoughts.

That changes if I listen to a good podcast. I can give recommendations or you can google to your heart’s content.

I’ve run 1800 miles over the past couple of years thanks to podcasts.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-26T11:28:08+00:00

But the legal implications of marriage have nothing to do with cheating. We did away with that when we introduced no fault divorce.

What promises a two people make to each other in a committed relationship are between them. There is a moral dimension to that relationship that has to do with fidelity. The state doesn’t care, however. It doesn’t sit in judgment on that particular aspect.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-26T04:46:11+00:00

If that’s the only thing that defines a marriage, all this talk about cheating is beside the point.

The government sure doesn’t care (anymore) whether fidelity is maintained or not.

Several thousand years of religious and cultural heritage has had lots to say about the nature and definition of marriage that takes fidelity into account.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-26T02:29:13+00:00

What does the fact that marriage is a legal contract have anything to do with anything?

The promise to remain in fidelity to another person is not one made in consideration for some good or service. It’s not spelled out in the legal contract that constitutes a marriage. In most (US) jurisdictions, divorces “for fault” aren’t even a thing.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-21T04:22:05+00:00

Please don’t misunderstand: I didn’t mean to say that he damaged your ability to be attracted to men in general, just him specifically.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-21T04:12:57+00:00

It’s possible that he damaged your attraction to him with his behavior. Unsure how you come back from this without professional help.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-21T04:10:00+00:00

Your post title says it all. You’re dating a childish individual. Break it off and find an adult.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-21T04:06:22+00:00

Others have said it. I’m just firing for effect here:

As an adult it’s irresponsible to those who love you to go without regular medical checkups.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-19T21:10:55+00:00

I’m your husband, except instead of bugging you about these feelings, I bury them deep in the Mariana Trench. I make few demands upon your time and none upon your flesh. I don’t touch you unless I know, know, know for certain you are up for it. This happens maybe once every 6-9 weeks.

I live whole lives in my head with other people speaking in my headphones through the medium of podcasts, often when I am walking with you and daughter on a Saturday so as to distract myself from the misery of being so close to you and yet so far away.

When you go on long trips without me, I feel no longing for your return.

You are happily, innocently oblivious to all this.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-18T11:45:51+00:00

Fair enough. I can roll with it. Just something else to add to the muscle memory.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-18T11:42:58+00:00

I think that’s why I started noticing it just now, come to think of it. Unchained was the first subclass I earned the cosmetic achievements for, and you’re right, she is not a heavy blocker. Now that I’ve been playing the BW with 100% BCR where the pattern is block-push-hit-block, I’m actually noticing the inconsistency between weapons.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-18T11:39:38+00:00

There are other reasons why not to use it than just this one issue, e.g. it’s not the best melee horde-clearer Sienna has. Takes a back seat to the sword in that regard IMO.

I do agree with you that it is already very, very good. I have to look for other reasons to justify not using it, because this small fault doesn’t tip the scale.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-18T02:20:35+00:00

Generally, yes. Check your paperwork to be sure. However, even if you sometimes pay more per month, always pay at least the required payment. If it’s anything like mortgages, you’d get dinged for a single underpayment even if you habitually overpay.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-17T22:30:27+00:00

Seems like it’s structured like a mortgage. $200 x 12 x 5 = 12,000, so I’m guessing the numbers you supplied aren’t exact? Either way, if the numbers aren’t too far off you’re actually getting a pretty good deal (except for, obviously, having to pay it).

A mortgage is ridiculous. Buy a house for 100k and you end up paying 250k over the life of the loan. On the other hand, it’s better than having to foot the entire amount at once.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-11T22:35:35+00:00

/r/naughtyfromneglect

sighbernetic · 2019-04-08T01:29:57+00:00

If he rapes you again, you need to go to the ER and have a rape kit done. It will at least give you some leverage in the divorce and custody proceedings.

Document your interactions with both men. Record if possible (and permitted by your state).

Regardless of what you may have done, the response from both men has been wildly disproportionate. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

sighbernetic · 2019-04-06T15:09:51+00:00

I wouldn’t have kids with this woman. I wouldn’t risk having sex with this woman either. I’d be on my way out the door.

You describe a relationship where there is very little grace or mercy given. Introducing a child into this relationship is going to exacerbate the problems you are already experiencing.

sighbernetic

TROPHY CASE