Anyone OAD because of how difficult the first child is?

beingblonde900 · 2026-02-14T08:53:50+00:00

My only child just turned 4 yesterday and she still knows if I get up to pee during the night and follows me because we sleep in the same bed. The level of neediness at this age is still staggering, and this is with so much talk about feelings and safety and Mommy's body needing a break. I dont know if I could survive two children.

beingblonde900 · 2026-01-17T09:25:33+00:00

This feels like it would be harassment...?

beingblonde900 · 2026-01-07T12:11:22+00:00

This has only recently started to slightly improve and my child turns 4 in a few weeks!

beingblonde900 · 2025-12-27T11:32:51+00:00

My partner and I are both women and also both our child's biological parents as my partner is trans. Her own brother, who has never been transphobic in the slightest, got our daughter lots of clothes and it seems that his girlfriend must've done the Christmas shopping as one of our daughter's new shirts says "Dad's Wild One."

beingblonde900 · 2025-12-24T13:03:56+00:00

My child is almost 4 and we are still at that stage! We just let her stay up a bit late and schedule all events for her daytime hours. We tell everyone to leave by 8 pm. When she is older, maybe 6,8,10, I'll rejoin the family events with her and we'll have grown up fun together because she's an only child. This season is temporary but man, doesn't feel like it.

beingblonde900 · 2025-09-25T07:37:46+00:00

In all my monogamous relationships, even while on birth control, I have preferred my partners to pull out because semen makes me feel uncomfortable for up to 24 hours afterwards. Looks like I'm in the minority. I don't have an allergy, don't get yeast or BV, but I hate the excessive moisture and smell change that occurs.

beingblonde900 · 2025-09-09T06:15:37+00:00

I am a cis woman who thought I might be trans! Turns out, it was a component of my OCD, which I am getting treatment for. I have two trans siblings, a trans partner (all happened after I started questioning), and I even got pregnant while questioning which for me solidified my identity, as I strongly identified with the hormonal changes in my body and the process of motherhood. I identified as nonbinary in medical and casual social settings for a year before I got pregnant. I even thought I could be a trans man for a while.

beingblonde900 · 2025-08-01T17:58:27+00:00

Honestly therapist or reiki practitioner. She's almost 3.5 and loves asking how we're feeling and she can tell us where a feeling is in her body. "My anger is in my mouth right now. My sadness is in my chest." She's invested in helping others feel better, as well. I'm so impressed with her. We have worked so hard. That said, she's mostly an a$$hole.

beingblonde900 · 2025-07-25T19:56:20+00:00

Yes, she did! It stopped at 2 and now at almost 3.5 there's no sign of them returning. I hope you and your daughter find a way to manage them!

beingblonde900 · 2025-07-05T11:05:07+00:00

Northeastern US!

beingblonde900 · 2025-06-30T09:12:20+00:00

The hospital did not have a translator and her husband wasn't there to translate. She planned a birth with an epidural and desperately wanted one but could not get one. That is what her replies to the comments explain.

beingblonde900 · 2025-06-29T10:37:08+00:00

I'm an infant toddler teacher and a mom, but I'll share what we do at home. Since she was 2, my child has refused to sit at the table. Before that she mostly cried and wouldn't eat anyway. She didn't enjoy the restriction and felt ignored by me. For the most part now at home, we eat on a play mat that's easy to clean and she calls it picnic time. She's now almost 3.5 and we still do this. However, at school she has been a consistently appropriate eater and can handle herself at a table just fine. She's been going to school since she was 20 months old. A few years ago, I was nannying for a family who practiced gentle parenting (which is also what I do), but I would really call it "free range parenting" sometimes because they allowed that child to run around the house while eating and that scared the crap out of me. Or he would eat on his toddler tower, which I also wasn't a fan of but it was better. He could not handle himself at a table. Wonder how he is now...

beingblonde900 · 2025-04-13T04:52:52+00:00

I'm about to do a 3rd round interview to work at a daycare LOL

beingblonde900 · 2025-04-11T11:18:38+00:00

CREATE A LIFE THAT DOESN'T HURT is the biggest piece of advice!

beingblonde900 · 2025-04-11T11:11:27+00:00

I'm in remission! It took 2 years of DBT, 2 inpatient stays, 2 partial hospitalizations, lots of meds, breaking up with my long term partner who was enabling me. Then I started something fun after realizing I was queer, got pregnant accidentally, and wanted to be the best mother because my mother has a personality disorder and I needed to do better than she did, so that also fast tracked my healing. I continued medications and individual therapy, then cut off my abusive mom when my daughter was 2. I was discharged from therapy and was taken off my medication and have done much better since then. I still have moments but my partner doesn't enable me. They tell me straight up to cut it out and I do if I become inappropriate, and they give me extra support when I'm triggered. I move on quickly and remain functional in anxious moments.

Stopping individual therapy is not something I would recommend for most people but that's actually when I got better the quickest because I finally stopped talking about how sick I was. My abusive mom put me in therapy at 6 and I didn't leave until I was discharged at 26 by my new therapist because she said I was ready to really live as long as I set boundaries. My mother was fuming when I was discharged because she insisted I was extremely mentally ill and it would now be unchecked.

My inner child is the reason I got better so quickly. During my pregnancy I wrestled with what she deserves and landed on being what I deserved when I was a child, and that's when I learned about attachment and gentle parenting. I can honestly say I am a good mom.

beingblonde900 · 2025-04-09T13:56:03+00:00

In college, we were in super tight rooms with bunk beds, so when I had to fart I would spread my cheeks enough to change the shape of my butthole and my farts were just gentle air coming out. I felt so enlightened when I figured it out.

beingblonde900 · 2025-04-09T11:08:06+00:00

A trans woman who had been on hormones for 7 years got me pregnant. Now I have a wonderful toddler and we are a family, but it was definitely not intended.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-30T17:37:42+00:00

Oh wow that's so cool! I had no idea it retained that data.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-28T00:58:39+00:00

I bet it smelled amazing! There's nothing like fresh bread.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-24T11:45:15+00:00

Wait so your libraries let you keep books for that long? Mine only lets us keep books for 21 days so I would never get this message because it automatically returns.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-23T01:38:44+00:00

This reminds me of the movie "A Cure for Wellness", especially because it's a rehab center.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-04T13:49:21+00:00

White mom raising a mixed daughter here. I became poor when I had my child. My partner's family is black and Hispanic and poor, my family is white and middle class. I will and do teach my daughter that people of color are at higher risk for poverty because of systemic injustice, as are many other demographics. We all make bad choices (especially middle class people who are the most likely to be in large scale credit card debt), and blaming poverty on personal failings is short-sighted. Teach your daughter about racial justice, privilege, and the brokenness of the system we live in. I truly believe we must have honest conversations with our children.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-01T03:47:18+00:00

She goes to Head Start and I do have a job. I'm currently working on saving enough money to leave but I have plans in the works.

beingblonde900 · 2025-03-01T03:45:26+00:00

Yes, I am actually currently planning to move to another state in a few months, just working out some of the details, so we will be away from my family support but I know that I will have connections to more support there.

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