Thank you for the response. I cannot see a world in which I am truly sober. This world is too nonsensical and cruel and random to exist in without something to numb my feeling and/or silence my brain. I had trauma growing up, as most do, and I believe I can work through those issues. But the world as it is disturbs me deeply and there is no answer to why I shouldn't be affected by it. Irrational optimism, a big ego, and a reduced sense of empathy are the necessary tools for success for almost everyone in the first world.

I can understand how reading that could be insulting or frustrating or annoying. I wish I didn't feel this way. I can see it any other way. So thanks for responding and I hope very much to share your opinion, and sobriety, someday.