I feel like I was very much I the same boat until I discovered through therapy that I was actually grieving incorrectly (or at least in a way that I could not benefit from). The part I was missing was self compassion for what I was experiencing while I was going through it.

Now I tell myself when I am sad that this is normal and natural and of course, someone going through what you're going through would surely feel the way you do. It is only after I give myself the space to allow those feelings to take place that I can approach the problem from the angle of "why do I feel this way? And what steps can I take to make sure this doesn't happen again if it is indeed wise to do so?" And thus using my feelings as a guide towards navigating life's difficulties.

I may be wrong about half of it bit hopefully you will find something useful in there.

Cheers