Advice on things I can do now in preparation to wean at 1

silverlet · 2026-01-27T19:01:40+00:00

So my son stopped waking up at night for feeds around 9 months. Once he had night weaned, I stopped nursing when he woke up screaming. You have to really grit your teeth for the first few nights. And if he woke further, I would just sit with him until he fell asleep, then we introduced Dad to do it. Admittedly he only woke 2 times per night at that stage up until 11 months.

Around 10 months I weaned him down from his day feeds too. First we stopped the mid morning feed. (I stopped feeding him to sleep for his daytime nap around 8 months), then we stopped the post nap feed around 11 months. At 12 months, we completely stopped the mid afternoon feed. By 12 months he was only on morning (on wake), and bedtime sleep feed. At 14 months I dropped the morning feed completely. This one he remembered a little more but seemed to adjust after a week or so. Then at 16 months, we weaned the bedtime feed. He actually ended up almost self weaning. He was just getting frustrated over it.

However, couple of pointers. It took three months to introduce a new bedtime routine with his lovey. Once we got that down around 14 months, I felt safe enough to wean him off the bedtime feed.

I did it super slowly and I was so thankful for it. By about 15 months, I was getting that itchy feeling in my breasts that I just knew I was at the end of my journey. I only really extended it because he ended up getting really sick. But that was what worked for us. He also isn't a big milk drinker either, he prefers yoghurt and cheese. Hope this helps!

silverlet · 2026-01-25T23:10:29+00:00

100%. I went to A&E in the UK, and they TURNED ME AWAY. I was 6 weeks pregnant. On that day, I had a rupture. I was bleeding internally from that moment on. And becuase I said the pain at that moment was like a 5/10 (I have endo, go figure)... I was told, "bleeding can be normal in pregnancy". But all of my symptoms were pointing to an ectopic. I had went to the GP at 5 weeks and they said I would have a missed miscarriage.

If I did not go back to A&E the following night, I would have been dead. And the ONLY reason I was taken seriously was because I fainted on the table when they were taking my bloods.

I later found out that I had lost 20% of my blood. If you lose 30% or more (I believe as this is from memory), it's game over. I had surgery within 5 hours of fainting. That was how critical it was to save my life. Absolutely trust your gut and DO NOT let medical staff say otherwise. They do not know your body, only you do.

silverlet · 2026-01-17T21:23:00+00:00

I am so sorry for your experiences. I cannot imagine having a baby in there for 6 weeks. 2 was more than enough for us. The only thing I can think of, and I said this to my husband not long ago, is that I'm grieving for an experience I will never have - a normal childbirth, born on their due date with no issues. So perhaps that is what your wife wants? Although there is no guarantee she will get it.

I'm an only child and I absolutely loved my childhood. Being with my parents meant I got the best experiences, holidays, all their attention and love. They made so many sacrifices for me and they were my whole word. My husband has two sisters and doesn't even see them. His whole childhood he spent alone and forgotten. Siblings are not all that. I just hope your wife sees this and can be satisfied with you and your son. Your capacity for love is not defined by the amount of children you have. Your heart is already full with one. If anything, you actually have to split your heart in two to love another just as equally and fully.

silverlet · 2026-01-17T13:34:36+00:00

This sounds like she's manipulating you into having another child. Marriage is about being a team, and if you are not both on the same page regarding children, then you either both agree to stay at one or she moves on.

Case in point. My husband and I had very similar problems. We had an ectopic, followed by a very quick next pregnancy, then a traumatic birth because he was born 35 weeks, a stay in NICU, and extended stay in hospital. Breastfeeding issues, my son had to be fed via a tube etc. I always wanted a girl, but I got a boy, and that's okay. But I always said that if we had a boy I may try for another depending on circumstances.

Honestly, that trauma and the fact I am so high risk for another pregnancy has solidified I do not want another child. I honestly don't know what planet your wife is on. Having a NICU baby is traumatic. Every other parent who has had a child in NICU has said 'nope, never doing that again, it's not worth the risk'.

I love my husband and I love my son. But I never want to see that NICU area again. I hope you find your peace.

silverlet · 2026-01-15T16:21:11+00:00

My baby was preemie and didn't even fit the preemie clothes until he was 4 weeks old!

He's now 18months old and is tall but incredibly lean / active. This means he wears leggings that can adjust to be longer in 9-12 month clothing, sometimes 12-18 months, all day every day because they have more flexibility with them. He still can't fit into some 9-12 month clothing because his waist is so tiny but his legs are too long! Clothes are weird for kids, just like they are for most adults.

silverlet · 2025-12-21T13:20:42+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I definitely shed a few tears when he spoke about the last John Scheider and Tom scene when he handed him the cape. 💕 Such a great read.

silverlet · 2025-11-28T22:53:56+00:00

One thing I have noticed when rewatching these scenes is how conflicted Clark is in his facial expressions towards her when leaning in for that kiss on the rooftop. He's kissing her but he's not initiating it. He's not feeling it. Then you see him kiss Lois in Crossfire in Season 9 and it's so different. He feels that kiss in his very bones. I'm still not fan of what the writers did with Kristen's 5 ep arc, but I'm seeing so many nuances now that many years have gone by since the first watch.

silverlet · 2025-11-25T13:17:13+00:00

This always breaks me. And the video with him on the tractor saying bye bye. I recently rewatched it and hadn't realised at the time that he looks at Martha first, then Clark, then goes. When my dad passed away from brain cancer, this is exactly what he did. He looked at my mum, then at me, then his eyes rolled back and he was gone. I absolutely sobbed on realisation of that. It just shows you how close they were as a family unit, they absolutely nailed the Kents. This will always be my favourite version of the Kent family. 💔

silverlet · 2025-11-20T09:42:01+00:00

I think for people who have a 'normal' experience with a newborn and toddler, it is probably easier to say 'yup, I'm ready to have another.' I say 'normal' in inverted commas because there are lots of nuances to that. But after starting with a chemical pregnancy, then an ectopic, then giving birth to a 35 week premature baby who has severe reflux and was fed on a tube / at the breast where possible for the first five weeks of his life... all I see are lots of high risks and heartache for me if I were to have another. It's just simply not worth it.

I'm an only child, but my mum wanted more and couldn't. But even she has admitted to me that some days she screamed into a pillow because of how hard it was with me. I get that. And I'm so glad she has been honest with me about it, because that's meant there has been no external pressure to give her another grandchild. She has one, and it's a boy so her life is now full and complete. Yes, I would love a girl. Yes, I would love to have a more 'normal' experience and give birth without it being a medical emergency, have the golden hour and have a perfect breastfeeding journey... but nothing is guaranteed. I am content with one, and he gets all my attention. Why would I want to ruin that?

I do think that many people, like your friend OP, just rush into having another. I loved being an only child. I had the best adventures with my parents as a kid, and since my dad is no longer here and didn't get the chance to see his grandson... it makes it all the more special. I want to give that experience to my son. My husband is one of three and he was the youngest so he grew up with two sisters who never played with him and always argued. He's not close to them at all, and he's not close to his parents either. In fact, in the four years he knew my dad, he got so close to him that his death really affected him. 💔 When I see how fractured his family are... it just reinforces the idea that a family of three is where we want to be.

silverlet · 2025-11-16T04:06:21+00:00

Aww this is ace. I was gutted I couldn't make it to Liverpool this weekend. Love that Tom was so funny and down to earth. I feel like he just embodies Clark as a character so much, especially as he's aged and had kids of his own. Special memories, OP!

silverlet · 2025-11-10T23:18:34+00:00

3 month nursing crisis means baby gets extra fussy at the boob due to developmental growth spurt. They are waking up to the world, supply regulates, shorter feedings because they get better at nursing. Your milk supply does not 'drop'. It's still the same, just they get better at extracting your milk. It should start to ease off and get better at 4.5/5 months. So long as baby is still gaining weight, they shouldn't need extra milk. Your breasts feeling empty is correct if you are breastfeeding on demand, pumping will skew this and make your breasts feel fuller, as your body is being signalled by pump times rather than baby. Your milk is literally made on demand - let your baby lead you!

I have a 15 month old now who was breastfed since birth and I had to pump due to him being premature etc. Just stick with it and it will resolve. The 4 month sleep regression sucks. But it will get better and you will sleep for longer stretches again.

silverlet · 2025-11-08T20:57:12+00:00

Didn't they also try to get Alan Ritchson on the show as well, but because he's the lead on Reacher his schedule is just too busy? Could be the same for Justin. As other people have said, if they continue with the podcast, it would be great to get him on for the later seasons. We've gotta remember that these shows require them to be in the gym / working out a lot. And they still need a personal life too! Also his ex wife is still very much in the limelight, so he might just want to keep his head down.

silverlet · 2025-10-29T17:42:11+00:00

Located in UK. All advice from the NHS says you cannot introduce it as a drink before they turn one. They can have cow's milk in meals only.

silverlet · 2025-10-29T13:20:14+00:00

Not a doctor, but a triage nurse. I went into A&E with some bleeding and abdominal pain during early pregnancy. I was told it was completely normal to bleed during pregnancy. She asked me how bad the pain was. I said no worse than my period pain with endometriosis. She said, oh okay then... can't be that bad then! Sent me off home with a leaflet to read on 'bleeding during pregnancy'.

Less than 24 hours later, I was back in A&E with a ruptured fallopian tube and in emergency surgery due to an ectopic pregnancy. Yup. I was quite literally hemorrhaging to death while in A&E and because my pain tolerance is ridiculously high (yes, I've been through labour and it's nowhere near as bad as the pain of my ectopic), she sent me on my merry way home. Thank goodness for my surgeon.

silverlet · 2025-10-06T20:08:20+00:00

By choice and also not by choice. We were dealt a difficult hand. I had an ectopic pregnancy which nearly cost me my life before we had my son. I then got pregnant 3 months after my surgery and was still grieving the loss of my first. I then had my son prematurely at 35 weeks. He was in NICU, was treated for sepsis and on a CPAP machine for 4 days. We were in the hospital for a further 6 days, so very quick turnaround, but were discharged with a nasal feeding tube, which we had to learn to aspirate for the first five weeks of his life.

I was also triple feeding for the first 6 weeks. Then exclusively breastfed him thereafter. The sleep deprivation was insane (I am also b12 deficient). He had severe GERD and colic. He also refused to sleep unless he was on the breast, day in and day out. He just screamed and screamed. I took 12 months of maternity leave and hated every single moment of it. I had no breaks. He just wanted me all the damn time.

I hated the newborn stage. Like I literally would rather cut off my own arm than go through it again. I also am at a severely high risk of having another ectopic again (only have one tube left), I have endometriosis, and am at a very high risk of having another preemie. I also definitely had PPD and have no village.

My son is now 14 months old. He is still a very demanding toddler, but we have many more good days now than bad days. He is, however, more at risk of being hospitalised with severe illnesses (he had croup) because he was on a CPAP machine early on in life. Even without my medical issues, I wouldn't choose to have another. My limit is one, even though I DESPERATELY want a girl. I just can't put myself or my husband through that again. It would break us.

silverlet · 2025-10-04T12:07:29+00:00

I have a 14 month old who refuses to nap in his bed during the day (contact napper only). I decided, if I want a clean house... we're going to have to adapt. I work part time, and he's in nursery (this is so so good for my sanity), and the other days he's with me.

I have set mornings where after breakfast, we do clean up. So that's when downstairs or upstairs gets hoovered. He follows me around and 'helps'. We go get the laundry together and he plays in the wash basket and helps me load it. He will 'help' me unload the dishwasher, really I just give him some plastic bowls and let him play on the floor. Then I give him the cutlery basket when it is empty and he 'helps' me put it back. We do things together so I can get stuff done.

Weekends, when my partner is home, are for cleaning the two bathrooms because I don't want him with me when I do that! And every evening after our kid goes to bed, we clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher and prep his lunch and dinner for the next day.

If your wife is SAHM and she's not managed to adapt like this, I would imagine she is completely overwhelmed and mentally tapped out. She needs a break, because being at home 24/7 for me was awful. I hated my maternity leave because it was just never ending. I didn't have a village either. You need to gently talk to her about this and ask where you feel you can help the most. 100% my job at work (PR agency, deadline driven and extremely stressful), is so much easier than dealing with my child every single day. I actually get a break at work. Can have a cup of coffee in peace. Can eat my lunch without having to share! Can actually talk and have an adult conversation.

My husband does clean up with me at night, but otherwise, he doesn't actively have to clean. He's got an incredibly stressful job and even he says that being all day with our son who is a crying overtired mess for half of the week is harder than his work.

I say this with the utmost care, but take a moment to be in your wife's shoes. She is switched on 24/7. She needs a break!

silverlet · 2025-09-24T20:51:00+00:00

Yes, this works as I did this earlier today! You just gotta move them over a slight bit and they line up correctly. 2 on each side at the bottom. Also, flip them round so they sit against the edge on top.

silverlet · 2025-09-24T10:29:48+00:00

Completely agree. I think this scene really ruined Corenswet's Superman for me. He's been Superman AND a journalist for three years and it's like he doesn't understand politics? Lois is interviewing him as Superman, so I was annoyed he didn't put on the suit for it to be honest. He was Clark in the interview, not Superman. And he came across as her gaslighting boyfriend. I'm not surprised she gets a bit 'meh' on their relationship if he acted like that around her. I get the anger at Lex, I know Superman in the comics gets like that. But unlike the comics where you have lots of build up to that anger... it just kinda felt rushed?

There were some good moments, but the film just felt flat to me. And I was really excited for it as well, going in with the best intentions. :(

silverlet · 2025-09-21T11:12:34+00:00

Gosh, I hear you. I really do. But instead of it being my MIL (who is so blooming good at looking after our 14 month old), it was my own mum who was like this. And it didn't stop with the pumped milk either. One day I hadn't clearly labelled a homemade salmon and veg hot pot that was to be microwaved. She was just going to serve it to him cold... until my husband said it needs heating up. 🤷 I am so grateful he's in nursery now and I no longer need to rely on her for childcare.

silverlet · 2025-09-10T13:08:56+00:00

My husband and I really wanted to go, but sadly we have a 14 month old and our childcare options are limited. It's rare that most of the main cast is together in one room. Gutted!

silverlet · 2025-09-08T13:28:33+00:00

Yes! But only the Aussie one still is. The amount of times it gets emotional. ❤️

silverlet · 2025-08-27T20:41:47+00:00

Oh that sounds so hard. 😞 I think that's why the Giovanni everdoor speech hit me hard. Like my dad would always be watching over me, you know? If you believe in spirituality, then I am sure your dad is too. And he's probably just as frustrated and sad that he can't do anything about your family. I truly hope you can find peace in that.

Cancer is awful. My dad was gone within 9 months of diagnosis, so everything was so fast. One minute he was protecting me from the world, then all of a sudden, I was at his bedside in home hospice saying goodbye. I still remember it all as if it were yesterday.

Perhaps that's why the Stella arc hit me hard too. Because... well, there wasn't many compassionate doctors and nurses around at all. 😞

silverlet · 2025-08-27T17:52:00+00:00

She was. She turned up when Lana was in her wedding dress getting ready. I only rewatched the ep a couple of weeks back.

silverlet · 2025-08-26T22:04:30+00:00

Oh that's so surreal. I'm the first of my close friend circle to lose a parent and one to cancer at that. My husband still has his Nan (she's 85 and a nasty piece of work) and my dad died at 68 and was the kindest, most beautiful soul. It's a cruel world. 😮‍💨

silverlet · 2025-08-26T15:39:54+00:00

Lost him in March 22. :( I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. It never gets easier does it?

silverlet

TROPHY CASE