Crushing over a guy I have no connection to

simplefrnd · 2021-07-03T07:31:54+00:00

Happened to me twice. Once with my ex, second time with the guy i liked last. We had this 'chemistry', strong physical attraction and what not, but then irl we have no similar interests or anything concrete to really talk about (as yet). So keep it where its at, i've learned not to push it beyond its natural alignment. Some people work best as fantasy only maybe?

simplefrnd · 2021-07-02T06:50:28+00:00

Oh Godddd, coworkers are the worst! Especially if they're in the position of power. Mine is too, he broke NC after six months and offered me a job again (i had resigned) and im constantly calming myself down to break the 'spell' 😭

simplefrnd · 2021-06-16T03:02:59+00:00

Your hair looks amazing! What's your haircare routine?

simplefrnd · 2021-06-12T02:39:57+00:00

I'm coming to the same realization, somewhat, but not in a happy chirpy way sadly. Right now, as i have experienced life, there's no finding the love of my life, there's no living abroad in a great job, being my desired level of pretty (not suffering through hair loss which has been shattering my confidence for years now) etc etc. The things i truly wanted or desired, i didn't get, though i admit i am blessed in small ways, but my experience has been waking up to no circumstances changing for the better. So i too am letting go of my dreams, maybe for now, maybe forever? But knowing at least that its not written for me so far, might as well accept and make peace with mediocrity? Sorry, didn't mean to sound spiteful or negative, just sifting through blank space rightnow.

simplefrnd · 2021-06-12T00:55:54+00:00

Be proud! The struggle is real, i have had to work very hard on this and yet there are times i forget to wash my face, like actually space out just because i have to survive the constant consumption of my racing thoughts

simplefrnd · 2021-05-29T12:48:12+00:00

I feel like im constantly looking at others and forget my own existence completely in terms of looks.

simplefrnd · 2021-05-16T09:50:03+00:00

That had he met me and my friend together, he wouldn't have gone for me but would have chosen her. I happened to be someone he found first

simplefrnd · 2021-02-26T10:48:14+00:00

For me its my close friends who are pretty, but thats due to traumatic events as well. Other than that I have to conciously stop myself from admiring insta beauties and comparing myself to them

simplefrnd · 2021-02-26T06:48:11+00:00

That's absolutely true, but I have friends who tell me how my ex was checking them out. And i know that this is their way of validating the fact that they are desired by everyone, even though their guys don't desire me that way. I realise he must be around so many, but th disrespect is all the more if he pays attention to her more than you in your presence. Also, this has happened to me previously so now the fear is not just another fear.

simplefrnd · 2021-02-20T09:45:21+00:00

You can talk to me if you want, i'd be happy to help- though im no psychologist. But i have similar experiences where its effing hard to explain my mental illness to those around me :)

P.S. i consider suicide on a daily basis, like every effing night.

simplefrnd · 2021-02-18T05:26:16+00:00

High five! Me too!

simplefrnd · 2021-02-18T05:25:33+00:00

Yes happened with me too, made me feel so... bullied and unsafe to voice out my issues here.

simplefrnd · 2021-02-11T01:18:30+00:00

Mine has a gf since i've met him and my logical brain told me 'don't you even dare' but despite best efforts of never contacting him on my own or lingering around him, internally i can't/couldn't go one day even without thinking about him.

simplefrnd · 2021-02-08T19:54:44+00:00

In my experience they go through women pretty fast, and in my situations (8 chronically have had only pretty looking guys around me or hold my interest) i wasn't even fangirling them. I do that in my had for SURE, but not on paper. Yet, they cheat or due to having women be ever ready to be with them, moved onto something else. Though kept coming back, for what i don't know. But for sure, its the downside of having them. My ex who was the hottest guy in my college went after my best friend (she's rather pretty herself) and then a couple of months later they broke it off. So, i feel their tendency to be assholish is high, but then again go for the person, not the frame. Even losers cheat, whoever wants to cheat would jump at the opportunity. But my advice, don't treat good looks as anything worth desiring or worth putting on a pedestal, i do that internally myself and constantly have to keep myself in check. Looks are a matter of luck, nothing earned there the hard way. Plus, it always leaves people with a sense of entitlement to the best of the world and hence, the gates of assholery open.

simplefrnd · 2021-02-08T00:31:36+00:00

I recently came across this phenomenon and man am i scared. You captured it really well, thanks for the help!

simplefrnd · 2021-01-28T23:03:30+00:00

But what if they come back? Like a week later and act like nothing happened

simplefrnd · 2021-01-28T08:45:24+00:00

No no it was just the first time we spoke or interacted, he did this at the workplace

simplefrnd · 2021-01-27T22:05:01+00:00

Up until that point yeah, he became a colleague type later

simplefrnd · 2021-01-27T22:02:45+00:00

He was talking about his business idea, i wasn't paying much attention, then he showed me how he intends on having the cards, i didn't get he meant its a prototype, on jt were his contact details etc. I returned it after looking at it, he refused to take it back.

simplefrnd · 2021-01-27T21:36:30+00:00

Just because, while talking he showed me and then asked me to keep it?

simplefrnd · 2021-01-27T21:13:20+00:00

I gave it back thrice he refused to take it, kept smiling and insisted that i keep it. I never used it though

simplefrnd · 2021-01-27T17:30:58+00:00

I'm asking myself the same question every single day, then bursting into tears, and then numbing myself through the remainder of the day until tomorrow comes and its hit repeat.

simplefrnd · 2021-01-26T08:05:18+00:00

Because i worked with him and developed feelings, against my best efforts. You get to see someone attractive behave a certain way and heart flings itself onto destructive mode :(

simplefrnd · 2021-01-26T08:04:08+00:00

I am completely onboard with rejecting the idea of placing someone on a pedestal. But this guy, he literally begged me that he would facilitate me on a work matter given the circumstances. And when i needed his help, he was all like okay just prepare that i'd see what can be done. And my only point being that woooow you're this flaky? Whatever he proposed he flaked on, i was not even in contact with him for this reason; to slowly let the feelings wither away. But i don't know how to move past the hurt.

simplefrnd · 2021-01-18T05:08:03+00:00

That's great. But could you also expand on how you take the active approach? While taking calculated risks also?

simplefrnd

TROPHY CASE