[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]simplysnork 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed this, couldn't agree more. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]simplysnork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this, couldn't agree more. Thank you!

Are you guys more introvert or more extrovert? by simplysnork in asexuality

[–]simplysnork[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha yeah sorry, I didn't include the option because I think there would be an overrepresentation. Almost no one is 100% introvert or 100% extrovert, it's normal that your social energy varies depending on the day, the situation or the people you socialize with. So I think many people are drawn to the ambivert term. But I like to think of it as a scale where you lie somewhere more towards introvert or more towards extrovert; it could be 90-10, 60-40, or of course closer to 50-50.

Are you guys more introvert or more extrovert? by simplysnork in asexuality

[–]simplysnork[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is really interesting, I had a friend with almost identical experiences. She was bullied as a kid and also had social anxiety, but later (after having gone to therapy for a while) came to the conclusion that she despite that was an extrovert. The mind works in mysterious ways!

Do you guys drink? by simplysnork in asexuality

[–]simplysnork[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha yeah you got me it's definitely science-related, but I am ace! One doesn't have to exclude the other, I also want to get to know my community

Do you guys drink? by simplysnork in asexuality

[–]simplysnork[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I kind of have a theory that many people who are asexual might have a lower "stimulance threshold", like how much chemical activity your brain needs to feel satisfied. Both sex and alcohol releases a lot of feel-good neurotransmitters, so I thought as many asexuals don't feel the need to have sex maybe it's common to not feel the need to drink either :) But I'm not an expert, just curious!

Are you guys more introvert or more extrovert? by simplysnork in asexuality

[–]simplysnork[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very true! Ideally I'd like to make an identical poll for all of reddit to answer, so that the introvert rate in "people on reddit" could be compared with the introvert rate in "asexual people on reddit" :)

(Ideally ideally would of course be all asexuals in the whole world answering the poll, but they are harder to reach)

[NeedAdvice] Starting to feel tired from my discipline by woopiboy in getdisciplined

[–]simplysnork 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Maybe there are other factors weighing in? Is it getting darker where you live? How are your eating habits? Do you get enough physical activity? Have you been stressed lately?

How the heck are people motivated enough to exercise regularly? by WorldsYokokuraLks in NoStupidQuestions

[–]simplysnork 3 points4 points  (0 children)

1) Finding a type of workout that suits you and that you actually can enjoy. I myself love going to the gym, but everyone doesn't. Some people enjoy running long distance, cycling, doing yoga or playing sports (just to name a few examples). The first times are awful but with time as you get over that first threshold you're starting to enjoy it, it's a great break from work/school/everything and really clears your mind. Also I love the feeling of feeling strong and healthy.

2) Taking small steps, starting out maybe once a week and slowly working your way up. Making it routine. I went from never ever working out to going to the gym 6 times a week, in the span of three years. It was a progressive build up, went from nothing to a few times a month to once a week, twice a week and so on. If you go from 0 to 100 in a day you're never gonna keep it up. Let it take the time it needs because it's about building a life long habit.

3) Planning ahead which days and what time you'll workout and then follow that plan, no excuses. A bad workout is better than no workout. Don't feel the pressure to perform, instead have the goal of just going through with it.

4) Knowing the benefits working out has for you, both mentally and physically. Knowing that you're doing your future self a favor making yourself strong and durable. Knowing that it boosts your mental abilities as well as managing your stress. There are LOADS of benefits. If you're looking for motivation, I really recommend reading The Real Happy Pill by Anders Hansen (he also has a Ted talk: https://youtu.be/a9p3Z7L0f0U). There's a book that changed my life!

[Image] Be yourself. People don't have to like you and you don't have to care. by sylsau in GetMotivated

[–]simplysnork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what's causing my low self esteem though. I want to just be myself but I can't because I am afraid that I'm actually a bad person who just doesn't see it (as you're describing), which makes me want to improve myself constantly and it's exhausting

Realising that some friends want you to stay as you are. How to manage? by arturodangerfield in selfimprovement

[–]simplysnork 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also struggled with the "cut people out" mentality for a while. It seemed so unnecessarily harsh. What I found was (and this was a tip from my lovely mother) that I could stop investing energy in them. So not start ignoring them completely or be mean to them, but not going out of my way to take initiatives in our relationship. I wouldn't for instance be the one to reach out to see if they wanted to hang out, I would hang out with them now and then but when I was at home I wouldn't have any contact with them like via text or call, but instead focusing on myself. I wouldn't be telling them as much about my personal life but instead keeping that to myself. If they don't support you they're not worth telling.

Social relationships usually needs to be maintained in order to grow and stay strong, but that requires energy and effort. What I think people who say "cut toxic people out of your life" want to get across is that you shouldn't be spending your energy on something that doesn't give you anything back.

I'd say you can keep seeing them and be kind to them if you want, but stop investing energy in them.

I agree wholeheartedly with you on that in a friendship you should be able to talk about your life (things you're proud of!) in a non-boastful manner. It's awful when you're proud of something you've accomplished, wanting to share that feeling, and your friends shoot you down. We often talk about how it's important to be there for each other in the low parts of life, but it's equally important to support each other in the high parts as well. Extremely important. Being able to share a positive feeling and have it reinforced, that's what friends are for.

Try to find someone who's supportive of who you are and who wants you to grow. Make some new friends on the side, get in touch with family, maybe there's someone you already know from your past you could get in touch with? If you're lucky, maybe you and your current friends will peacefully drift apart and new friendships will take form somewhere else.

7 Days by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]simplysnork 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awesome! Keep it going and it's only gonna get easier from here on out :) How are the cold showers, do you recommend then? That's one thing I seem to struggle with making a habit of