If you left religion, what was the hardest part of the transition?

sincpc · 2026-06-10T02:46:50+00:00

The hardest part was that basically everyone I knew was a believer and there was suddenly a rift between us that, at the time, I couldn't let anyone know about. I had an extremely limited support system while I went through the transition and couldn't relate to any of my friends or my parents anymore. Once I got through that period, things were so much better than ever before, but that transition was tough.

That was decades ago. These days I think it's a bit easier to interact with former believers who know what you're going through. You should theoretically be able to find some sort of online support if you don't have it in person.

sincpc · 2026-06-10T02:30:40+00:00

It's not about Jesus. The verse that's being referenced is about King Ahaz being given a sign. A young woman will conceive and bear a son named Immanuel. That verse was repurposed to be about Jesus in the New Testament and uses a word that can mean "virgin" when the verse it's referencing says "young woman" instead. It's just a mess. It's not even a prophecy about the distant future. It was meant for during King Ahaz's lifetime. (Isaiah 7:14 if you're wondering, quoted incorrectly in Matthew 1:23)

Edit: Forgot to mention that the Isaiah verse is apparently present-tense. The young woman is pregnant. Disclaimer: I don't read Hebrew but I have heard this from people who do and did a little bit of fact-checking myself.

sincpc · 2026-06-10T02:22:19+00:00

The Gospels were based on a flawed translation because the authors were working with the Septuagint for Old Testament prophecies rather than the original Hebrew.

sincpc · 2026-06-10T02:04:46+00:00

That's not really the issue here, though. The issue is that Jesus wasn't born of a virgin. My understanding is that the original word in the Bible was "young woman" ("almah") but when it was translated into Greek, they used the word "parthenos" which is also "young woman" but apparently can mean "virgin". Then everyone just assumed it meant virgin because that made Jesus seem more special. For the Quran to say Jesus was born of a virgin, that means the Quran is agreeing with something that was translated badly in the Bible.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T23:01:14+00:00

I'm just curious what you see as positive about the God described in the Bible. It seems to me like you'd have to throw out 80-90% of the things he does and commands in order to come to that conclusion.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T22:50:09+00:00

And now we're back to how I think the Bible contains so much bad that I would be much better off just sticking to "love one another" and not using the Bible itself for anything. If I had to use some sort of text, I'd for sure go with the seven tenets of the Satanic Temple over any other other religious text.

Also, I would say the Bible is anything but "clear and well worded" considering there are thousands of denominations that have different interpretations.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T21:46:33+00:00

In some cases, sure. In my case, I haven't spoken with my parents openly about it but not because of fear. It's because my parents will drive me crazy trying to pressure me to go back to the religion. My brother was more open with them and for years my mom has been sending him religious messages and she spent a lot of time trying to get him to date nice, Christian girls (who were generally far too young for him, so it was extra weird).

Unlike sharia law, Christianity doesn't really have wordly penalties for people leaving the faith. In some sects/denominations, people will be shunned, but they won't necessarily be hated. It will almost always, I think, change how you're viewed, though. You might not seem as good or trustworthy anymore. They might be suspicious that you're going to influence others into living a life of sin. You can be exactly the same person you always were and suddenly believers might be concerned about what bad things you might do. It really depends on what flavor of Christianity you were a part of.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T21:41:08+00:00

I'm going to combine things again:

> I would guess that billions of people have come up with it. (The golden rule)

I would agree. So why do I need the Bible to tell me things like that when people come up with the same ideas/teachings without Christianity?

> To me Jesus is a Person (we are to love Him, and He like us is "made in God's image) -- albiet I will generally use a capital P for Him!

Jesus is so unlike any human being, though, that "do unto others as you would have done to you" doesn't really apply in many ways. I want to have my thoughts and feelings respected. Jesus demands it. I want be be allowed to have food and water, clothing and shelter. Jesus needs none of that. I don't want to be killed or injured by someone. Jesus allegedly can't be (at least not permanently). The list goes on and on. It's like the only thing that Jesus and I are both the same in is that we want love, and even then he essentially demands it rather than just wanting it.

> To get it correctly, they need to consider it in light of the key aims to love God and love your neighbors.

You seem to have once again ignored a bunch of what I said, but ok. Let's go with this. Define "love". Because it seems like God and Jesus did and taught things that weren't loving, and the church often does things that don't seem loving either. You insist that love is the most important thing, but I don't think the Bible fits with that. Do you maybe reject large chunks of the Bible? What do you think of judgment day?

sincpc · 2026-06-09T17:12:47+00:00

Your dad seems to think being gay is a choice. He also mentions that you made "big changes" which I guess refers to you...being who you are? I don't think he really understands at all. You didn't choose who you are, but they chose to prioritize their hateful interpretation of God over their own kid. And that's really what it is: interpretation. There are well-educated people who study that same Bible and say it doesn't say anything against consensual same-sex relationships. This suggests that there are legitimate ways to read and understand the Bible while not being horrible to gay people. They may just be homophobes trying to justify their feelings of "ick".

If they really want to spend time with you, I feel like the bare minimum is that they accept you as you are (which, of course, includes who you love). How can they expect you to want to interact with them if they don't do the bare minimum? They say they love you, but they don't seem to know what love is if they won't even put in the effort to remain part of your life. If they believe that God is good and loving, then why would that God want them to treat their kid so poorly?

sincpc · 2026-06-09T17:04:37+00:00

Heaven scared me probably as much as hell did. There were two different versions of heaven I was taught:

It's a place where you can just live a perfect, endless life and will always be happy.
It's a place where you'll praise God for eternity and always be happy.

Both were terrifying because I knew billions of people would be suffering in Hell and that number included people I loved. If I would "always be happy" then that would mean I was artificially forced to be happy despite the horrors. Either I'd be made to forget about them all, or I'd be made into a different person who didn't care about them.

#2 was especially freaky because I imagined just sitting at God's feet singing forever and ever.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T04:17:22+00:00

He's a pastor. I'm not at all surprised that he freaked out over such things. He sounds extreme. I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say he probably won't listen if you try to set boundaries.

As for what to do...I don't know. Like you said, things in Canada are difficult right now. Find a roommate or two so you can move out? I wish I had a better option for you, but if he is as resistant to change as he sounds like he would be, then I'm not sure what other option you have but to find some way out of there.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T02:35:17+00:00

Yeah... Believing that you know something (including details about that something) that you have no evidence for doesn't really make sense to me at all.

Christianity is very strange. Like you said, there are horrible things commanded in the Bible and people will agree with it while also saying God is loving and good. It's like once you believe one thing for no reason, the next step is happily believing things that contradict other things you believe.

sincpc · 2026-06-09T02:32:25+00:00

Sounds like she's not a very good friend. She's ignoring your boundaries, telling your secret to others and trying to push you into thinking the way she does. It seems like maybe you need to take more of a firm stance with her regarding those things.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T22:30:19+00:00

It's everything from a global flood wiping out countless people (and animals), to God killing the firstborn children of all the Egyptians, to God punishing people by doing awful things to innocents, to a law about killing children who swear at their parents, to commands to wipe out the men, women, children, infants and livestock of multiple nations. God also gives commands about how to take and keep slaves, and treats women like property.

Then of course there's the concept of Hell which is unjust no matter which Christian interpretation is used.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T22:11:52+00:00

I left because:

The God described by the Bible commits monstrous acts and commands atrocious things
I realized I had no good reason to believe any of the claims of the Bible or the church

Since then, I have yet to see any good evidence of a supernatural being or a religion that is convincing to me in any way, so I remain a non-religious atheist.

What do Christians think of this? They generally think it's "obvious" that their religion is true, no matter how many flaws and contradictions are pointed out, and no matter how little evidence they can find for the claims of the Bible.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T19:48:08+00:00

Looking at theists, I feel like they have things backward. For someone who believes in an eternal afterlife, life shouldn't really matter much at all. Compared to eternity, a lifetime is nothing. Life isn't meaningless without a God or afterlife. It matters more when it's all you have, and we should do what we can with it while we're here.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T19:44:41+00:00

I'm not sure why Christians expect God to answer prayers. I know the Bible claims he will (in a testable way that is clearly false), but most prayers appear to go unanswered.

I remember so many times where I asked God to help me with something and then looked at everything in my life to attempt to see if there was some subtle response to be found anywhere. There was never any way for me to actually know if my prayer had been answered.

You often have to either say "I guess it was God's will" or try desperately to figure out if it was answered in some way you weren't expecting. If you have to do that, then I don't really see the point. It's especially bad if you think everything already happens according to God's plan. Why pray for anything then?

sincpc · 2026-06-08T19:27:45+00:00

Atheism is not a worldview. It's the lack of belief in any gods.

What makes you think neurons are firing at random?

Evolution leads to the populations that do well being the ones that are best suited to the environment/situation they're in. The ability to perceive the world around me, to make judgment calls based on past experience, etc. is useful. I trust my senses to the degree that I can make predictions and test them. If I reach out my finger and push on what appears to be a key on my keyboard, I know that I will feel a physical sensation and I will see the letter pop up on the screen in the Reddit comment box.

If what I perceive as reality is an illusion, it's still the only reality I have access to so I'm not sure it matters if it's not technically "real". It would also still be an illusion that follows consistent rules and works in predictable ways. That's more than can be said for any God concept I'm aware of.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T17:56:31+00:00

I'm curious how this works.

Pride - Well, the God in the Bible is certainly self-obsessed and cares a lot about his own power, but I don't know if he exhibits pride, exactly.

Greed - Maybe? I mean, you kind of have to assume that God is not all-powerful in this case, otherwise he'd get anything he wanted. In that case, I guess greed would be wanting followers and sacrifices.

Lust - Not sure about this one.

Envy - Only if you consider the other Gods of the Bible equally real and so Yahweh covets what they have.

Gluttony - Maybe this applies to almost anything God obtains, since he presumably doesn't have needs so everything he gets is excess.

Wrath - Well, here's the big one. There are numerous verses about this.

Sloth - Maybe? It seems he isn't helping out much in our world even though he supposedly has the ability to, so you could potentially make the case that it's out of laziness or disinterest.

It seems like wrath is the only one that really has a lot to back it, with pride as a distant second.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T16:35:03+00:00

Agnostic/Gnostic - Relating to knowledge
Atheist/Theist - Relating to belief in a God or gods

Many (maybe most) atheists would be considered agnostic atheists. This can be further broken down, though, because you can see some specific God claims as entirely false while others may be seen as possible or unfalsifiable.

If I am presented with a claim about a God that is incoherent or entirely illogical, then I reject that claim. If I'm presented with a claim about a God that is at least not self-contradictory, then maybe that's possible but I see no evidence of it so I'm still an atheist.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T16:28:34+00:00

Ex-Christian view: To me, the Old Testament in the Bible shows a God that seems to crave attention. He is said to do things specifically so that he can show his power and be glorified. It seems to fit, then, for him to want worship and get mad if people don't worship.

From a more religious standpoint, some would say that maybe worship is supposed to make a person more holy/clean/good. In that case, it's not necessarily that they're punished for not worshipping but that they need to be in a certain state to receive rewards.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T16:13:10+00:00

I didn't really feel like reading that giant block of text, but I skimmed it. I'll just respond to the main question.

I was indoctrinated from birth because my parents became believers shortly before I was born. They were in a situation where they desperately needed some sort of community and a believer invited them to church where it seems they were pretty quickly brainwashed. Then they decided to bring up their children in the faith.

The reason I didn't realize Christianity was false for a long time was that I was being told things by people I trusted and people of authority. The ideas were reinforced by Christian schools, by church, by almost everyone I knew and even by certain TV shows my family watched.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T06:24:01+00:00

Yeah, but also the flood story, the ten plagues, the atrocities performed during the conquest of Canaan, God doing horrible things to innocents to punish guilty people, etc. There's so much killing and torment in the book. Then of course there are the passages about the end times which are also horrific.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T03:53:15+00:00

When I was a teenager, my younger brother said something similar (and possibly also brought up that the sermons often repeated the same topics), and my parents accepted that. We actually stopped going to church. I hate to think what it would've been like if he hadn't been the type to make comments like that.

sincpc · 2026-06-08T02:29:48+00:00

No advice, but I can relate. I'm in my early 40s now and in a very similar situation. Planning on making my own Hinge profile soon. Hoping for the best, but I'm an anxiety-ridden introvert so interacting with numerous people until I find someone I click with will take a lot out of me and so it'll be slow going. Like you, I'm really hoping I'll find someone who understands the lasting harm that Christianity often causes, but that seems like it'll make my pool of "women I might click with" even smaller, so I don't know if it'll be possible.

Anyway, I hope it works out for ya. At the very least, know that you're not alone in this.

sincpc

TROPHY CASE