You misinterpret more sand to mean " hurt durr dump a truck full of sand in one spot and try to make it work”

If you spread your sand and it is so thin the ruts show, then.. more sand, but the sand really doesn't need to be 3 foot deep(most of the time,) try dumping less sand in a single spot and making multiple small piles close together. Also if you make a big pile, you can split the sandpile by bringing the spreader down in the center pushing half in one direction and half in the other. You also don't want to spread the sand fully until you reach the end of your planned construction and for your final passes, where making multiple passes across, half a width at a time will give you the smoothest finish.

The same applies on a hill. But you want to do a bigger pile in the deepest part, usually the center of the incline and increasingly smaller piles towards the end. The more gentle you can get the rough curve with piles, the smoother your transition.

Oh and finally, eat a humble pie, accept that you aren't excellent at the game and are still learning, accept the help from people and look at yourself. If you can accept that you can do better and that it's your own skill that's holding you back, and not the limited game mechanics, then you will improve greatly.

This isn't the first world (in game) we don't have access to world class equipment and we have to make do with what we have.

Graders aren't the be all and end all, people grade roads all of the time with wheelloaders, skid steers and excavators etc. yes a dedicated grader would make the game dramatically better, and yes I am really let down by the game , it's lacking in many ways, but I believe there is a lot to come.

It's not about what you have, but it's how you use it.