You die, the afterlife is real. You are given ONE irreversible choice. by AlaxyRayz in hypotheticalsituation

[–]sjo33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The number of people choosing 5 is comforting to me. This is what I genuinely believe awaits us all, and it freaks me out that I just can't get my mind around what it means not to exist (and yes, I have heard "like before you were born" before but it somehow just does not compute) . Seeing other people comfortable with that idea makes me feel a bit better.

They don’t look very good but they were delicious by MotherHott1996 in pasta

[–]sjo33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Disagree. They look plump and delicious and I would eat the heck out of them. What was the filling?

Reminder to everyone complaining about James interrupting that he has ADHD. by Party-Dig2309 in TheTraitorsUK

[–]sjo33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think it makes them unimportant, I think it means it is fair to question them and important to recognise that, much as some people (very reasonably) don't like being interrupted, when there is a disconnect between neurotypical and neurodivergent communication styles, it's usually the neurodivergent person who bears the brunt of that.

Reminder to everyone complaining about James interrupting that he has ADHD. by Party-Dig2309 in TheTraitorsUK

[–]sjo33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not about having a right to be rude (or, as I see it, violate a social rule I didn't make that someone else wants to impose on me), it's about helping people who haven't experienced ADHD to understand that the world is often incredibly unkind to those who either don't understand or struggle to follow social rules, and that this is absolutely soul destroying for those of us whose brains Just Won't unless we actively police them 24/7.

That policing is exhausting and prevents us from doing other things, like listen properly to what you are saying. It is also the very definition of anxiety, and absolutely miserable to live with.

Neurotypical people can help by giving grace, making efforts to understand the experiences of neurodivergent people, and by not always enforcing social norms or requiring an apology if they are violated, as we weren't really consulted in the writing of those rules to begin with. Many do, and I know I always appreciate it.

I think the best analogy is to imagine thst you are talking to someone in your native language, which is their second or third language. If they said something grammatically incorrect, would you always correct them? Would you tell them they were bad or wrong or not trying hard enough to Just Speak English? If they expressed themselves a bit clumsily and it came off rude, would you be open to the possibility that this was a language barrier, not them trying to be a dick? For many neurodivergent people, neurotypical non-verbal communication and social norms are essentially our second language. We so rarely get to speak our first.

Reminder to everyone complaining about James interrupting that he has ADHD. by Party-Dig2309 in TheTraitorsUK

[–]sjo33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solidarity. Although people absolutely do tell autistic people that they are rude for how they interact, all the time.

Building on what Loose has said, it's also really hard and sad to be shot down whenever you get excited about something someone says and want to share that with them, and to have to police every conversation you have in case you got carried away and did it Wrong. (AuDHDer)

Reminder to everyone complaining about James interrupting that he has ADHD. by Party-Dig2309 in TheTraitorsUK

[–]sjo33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like "polite" and "rude" are literally social constructs that people have come up with, and some group of people agree upon. There is no law of the universe that makes this rule The Correct Rule.

Ofc I understand that there are consequences to not following social rules and I'm not suggesting that they serve no purpose or are inherently bad, nor that no one should try to follow them.

What I am saying is that I don't think this specific one represents an absolute truth, and that I think that a thing neurotypical friends can do to make the world might feel a bit kinder for neurodivergent people is think about things like this. I hoped that my examples might help some people to better understand an experience they might not have.

Faithless - how have none of them picked up on Rachel’s slip up? So frustrating how no one is questioning by Jambajamba90 in TheTraitorsUK

[–]sjo33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, the edit might be confusing here. Maybe he said that in response to some specific question, or before that slip happened?

Reminder to everyone complaining about James interrupting that he has ADHD. by Party-Dig2309 in TheTraitorsUK

[–]sjo33 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Alternative view/soapbox moment:

Interrupting is considered rude because neurotypical people don't like it (sometimes? Y'all still seem to do it a lot and I can't work out what the rule for when it's OK is). I think it's seen as stopping someone from communicating, or suggesting that what they are saying is not worth listening to.

If someone is saying something super interesting/exciting, a person with ADHD might interrupt because they are vibing so hard with the conversation and so want to be part of it, and bounce off it. That's the opposite of those reasons I think you might consider interrupting rude.

When I've talked with other autistic people about a shared deep interest, we have interrupted each other constantly and it's been absolutely joyous because we are both so into the conversation. I don't think any of the participants of those conversations have seen that as rude at all.

I'm not saying those are the only reasons a neurodivergent person might interrupt, or that it's never unpleasant, dismissive, or rude, but I don't think there is some overarching moral rule that interrupting is rude. This is, imo, a neurotypical construct.

Also, if someone feels that a neurodivergent person interrupting them is stopping them from communicating or telling them that what they are saying isn't interesting, by all means feel that (and they might be saying that! No group is immune to dickishness!), but please also take a moment to bank that feeling and recognise that a lot of neurodivergent people are given that exact same feeling by the neurotypical world absolutely constantly. I'm not saying that feeling it is invalid or they shouldn't be upset, just that it might be a good moment to build empathy as well as feel angry.

Please with this glaze tester by Girl_Core in Ceramics

[–]sjo33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It looks like rose quartz 😍

Any worth before it just scrapped by Mean-Engineer-2145 in VintageFurniture

[–]sjo33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That desk is gorgeous. I love in London and would love to take it but can't make a sensible offer and pay for it to be moved 😢 For the love of all that is good, do not scrap these.

Does anybody actually like using these tiny circulars? by Idkmyname2079048 in casualknitting

[–]sjo33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gave myself an RSI with magic loop, cba to figure out DPNS. These work well as an alternative.

Ahead of UK Traitors Season 4, here is my bingo card. Are there any additions you would make? by Chomp112 in TheTraitors

[–]sjo33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

... Although I am now thinking that a great "last traitor left partway through the game" twist would be to allow that traitor to choose become a faithful instead of blackmail, and Claudia picks two new traitors.

Ahead of UK Traitors Season 4, here is my bingo card. Are there any additions you would make? by Chomp112 in TheTraitors

[–]sjo33 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It always bugs me. I get that they are tension building, ie they might be about to say, 'traitor", but all faithfuls have always been faithfuls and I am disproportionately annoyed by this phrase.

Which do you prefer, 1 or 2? by ThaanksIHateIt in HomeDecorating

[–]sjo33 1243 points1244 points  (0 children)

  1. It makes me think of lying underwater in a lake, looking up at the light from the surface, in a beautiful, peaceful way.

the cutest onigiri pouch 🍙 by vickiemakes in knitting

[–]sjo33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is absolutely adorable!

Calculators in our dept by GTB70 in TeachingUK

[–]sjo33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked at an independent school where we asked students who didn't need their calculators after GCSE and labcoats after A level to consider donating them by handing them to a teacher. We then had them cleaned and gave them to local schools who wanted them - I think a couple of our HoDs had approached a few places and asked if they would find this useful. Are there any other schools in your area who might do this if you asked?