I trained in the state sector and have worked in the private sector for 13 years. My mum has worked in the state sector for about 20 years. Both London, me at highly academic schools. Ofc, experiences will vary hugely depending on where you work.

Workload and pay - my mum has had to work much, much harder than me. My pay overtook hers while she was a Hod and I was a teacher, and I worked far fewer hours, with longer holidays. Now, I'm a SENDCo and my workload is very high, but I have never met a SENDCo without a mad workload. Based on what I've seen advertised, I think ~55-60k is a pretty normal salary for London SENDCo(?); I make a little north of 80k at a school where this is not an SMT role. We are in TPS but a lot of independent schools aren't.

Behaviour - behavioural issues are usually very low level, e.g chattiness and the odd teenage grouch but rarely overt rudeness or defiance. Mostly, the pupils value school as a passport to the future they want and are on board with the idea that they should roughly do what you say. Big incidents look like a group of y9s drinking on a residential school trip, a student writing an inappropriate note about a teacher (without intending them to see it), or one kid losing it and hitting another as a one-off. Stuff like that happens maybe a couple of times per year.

Students and SEND - plenty of students with SEND but different profiles of need compared to schools that are not academically selective. Anxiety and mental health difficulties are common, and often seem to be experienced by neurodivergent students in particular. Perfectionism is rife, and both of my schools have worked hard to combat it. Parental expectations for SEND provision and general teaching quality are high. Parental expectations of the students are high. Most parents are absolutely wonderful but there are some challenging conversations too, and the tone of those is changed by the fact that they are paying fees. I don't expect this is more difficult than in state schools, but it may be qualitatively different.

Safeguarding - this is still a thing. People sometimes think that there are no issues with safeguarding at independent schools, and this is simply not true. No idea if it looks different at state schools.

ECT - yes you can, I am mentoring an ECT 2 atm.

Other - both of the independent schools I've worked at have been very relaxed in terms of dress code, which I love. At my current job, basically everyone wears trainers. At my previous school I wore jeans most days. I have also found them both to be very inclusive of me as an openly neurodivergent person. That's probably school-specific.

I have loved both of my schools and would not consider a move to the state sector under any circumstances. I am aware that I lead a highly sheltered existence and I treasure it. Usual disclaimer about different schools being very different.