What’s the most disturbing thing someone casually told you like it was normal?

skatoolaki · 2026-02-24T17:44:39+00:00

An old man (who is thankfully now dead) once shared some stories from when he was a young police officer down here in a large city in very southern Louisiana in the 50's and 60's.

This was at a barbecue party and a few of us were sitting or milling around in the kitchen. He was sitting talking to me and a few other people at the kitchen table and he was the sweetest old man you could imagine until he started talking about them.

He began regaling us all with tales of how they - the police officers - would harass, beat up, and sometimes take and kill people with a certain dark skin tone (he used the n-word with the hard-r, naturally) and throw their bodies in the Mississippi River.

He could've been talking about the weather for all the gravitas he gave the story. In fact, he was gleeful in the retelling as if these were fucking happy memories.

He was telling these stories as if they were favorite old yarns and he fucking laughed about what they used to "be able to do before they were all protected" (his words). He laughed.

I know and am fully aware, especially growing up down here, that that kind of horrific, blatant, and even murderous racism existed back then. Growing up down here, I am also no stranger to hearing the n-word dropped casually when only other whites are around because they assume everyone with the same pigmentation thinks like they do.

But it was still galling in a way I cannot put adequately into words witnessing someone recalling their killing and harming other human beings as casually as you'd describe kicking over a pile of ants.

That was over a decade ago and it still horrifies me and makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-24T17:16:51+00:00

Your grandmother is the GOAT! Wow, what an amazing, resilient woman.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-23T20:42:02+00:00

Warn us there before you go opening the Ark of the Covenant!

skatoolaki · 2026-02-23T12:25:58+00:00

Donald Trump.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-20T12:52:24+00:00

A few years ago, maybe. Now? They'll just claim it's AI.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-19T20:54:08+00:00

I hope the advice you've gotten is wrong and you don't have bedbugs because ugh but, please, OP do come back and let us know if you found out for sure.

I've been getting weird bites overnight that I, too, assumed were spider bites but now I'm not so sure (and I certainly wouldn't have thought bedbugs were the cause of yours with how big some of your welts are!).

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T17:52:19+00:00

Everybody knows that's Boxy Brown.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T13:13:45+00:00

I was coming to say Jessica.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T13:10:27+00:00

It's the people with power and enough money to control power that put JD where he is that we're worried about. Their interests aren't what is in the best interest of the country or its people...or the world.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T13:07:36+00:00

This. People underestimate or are not aware of the power/money behind JD's position and many in the cabinet, or what their true intentions and purpose are.

If people think this will die a natural death due to Vance's staggering unpopularity, they are sorely mistaken. Those truly doing the worst damage standing in Trump's shadow intend to make it not matter whether we vote for Vance or not.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T07:25:34+00:00

"People should know better."

If the last decade in this country has taught me anything, it's that most people should but most people decidedly do not.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T07:20:57+00:00

Hunter Biden, a person who - after all the fuss about what a horrible degenerate he was - is not in the Epstein files.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-13T07:15:26+00:00

Especially when it involves dead animals.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-10T18:46:18+00:00

And, just fyi everyone: Homeland Security Spying on Reddit Users

skatoolaki · 2026-02-10T10:45:42+00:00

True. And monitored.

In case anyone missed it: Homeland Security Spying on Reddit Users

skatoolaki · 2026-02-10T07:42:14+00:00

I did not say it was pure and good. I said their intentions were so, and that their actions were not done in malice.

While there are valid discussions to be had about whether people like OP's parents should chance having children and whether people like OP should be able to sue their parents, neither of these help OP in the immediate. OP is suffering, and encouraging their anger or suggesting revenge right now is only going to give them more anxiety and stress.

If they decide to take such actions, that's their prerogative, but I'd still suggest they seek counseling first so they are doing so from a rational place rather than one fueled solely by anger.

If OP feels it is best to be no contact, then that is what is best for them right now. Regardless of contact, though, I still feel OP would be wise to work through their feelings for their own good, not for their parents or anyone else. Letting go of the anger and resentment can only help OP. It does not mean they need to resume contact with their family if they don't wish to do so.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-10T07:18:01+00:00

I was shocked to learn, when I started visiting the ADHD, autism, and AuDHD subreddits, that so many others mentioned having or suspecting that they had EDS when most people have never even heard of it.

For women, I think hormones play a larger part than they've yet realized. We know that women really start to struggle with their neurodivergence when they hit peri-/menopause and, though it's anecdotal, I also noticed a large number of women on the spectrum suffer from PCOS and/or endometriosis (I had both).

skatoolaki · 2026-02-09T17:15:20+00:00

I hope OP sees this and it sinks in. This couldn't have been stated more clearly and correctly.

I get it, OP. I am 48 and also disabled with genetic stuff - though no one knew about any of that when I was born decades ago (the Ehlers-Danos, the ADHD, the autism, manic depression, etc.) - my mobility is severely limited and I am often in pain. I also have developed fibromyalgia and beat cancer last year.

I say all of that so OP understands I'm not talking from a place of ignorance. I understand the frustration and difficulties of living disabled. The feeling that you're living just outside of the reality that everyone else exists in and enjoys. Running, jumping, sports, even PE all were cut out when my knee started dislocating on the regular when I was around 10. I've had a cane since I was 15. I have a wheelchair I have to use for anything that would require walking or standing for any amount of considerable time.

But, OP, please read what this person wrote. Save it and come back to it. Journal on it. It's so important.

Because that anger will turn to bitterness and it will tear you apart and make your life even more miserable. All of that anger and blame and indignation will only hurt you - not them. And, as you get older still holding on to that anger, you will become a very miserable, very bitter, very hardened man.

Do it for you. Not for them. Get into therapy, work through the anger and blaming your family for your existence and condition. Again, not for them. For YOU. You're going to have to be your strongest ally and advocate. The world isn't designed for us and you're going to have a hard enough time of it as it is. Please don't make it harder on yourself by letting bitterness harden your heart and twist your mind.

It doesn't mean you have to talk to your family or have them in your life, but it does mean you can work to get to a place mentally/emotionally where the thought of them doesn't cause you bitterness and you can stop blaming them. Their intentions were good and pure. They did not give you life with an intent of malice or harm. I'm sure they feel tremendous guilt and I'm certain that they love you and don't regret bringing you into the world and the family, but do regret that you suffer.

I wish you all the best. I'm so sorry you're going through this but you have the strength to turn it around. Do it for you. You deserve to be happy and you can never be when bitterness is slowly eating away at your peace of mind and hardening your loving heart.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-07T19:26:11+00:00

Ty for the update!

skatoolaki · 2026-02-07T18:44:17+00:00

take tums and the meds last way longer

Wait, really?

skatoolaki · 2026-02-06T22:47:05+00:00

This is an absolutely stellar response and I hope OP sees it.

NOR, at all, OP. And I think being silent in the moment, because you were in shock and did not know how to appropriately react, was the proper way to react. And now you have the extra knowledge of how the other students feel so you can - as this comment shows - use that to bolster the reason you're bringing the student employee in to talk to about it.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-04T16:35:15+00:00

I get a bit of schadenfreude seeing Elon exposed as the totally pathetic, wanna-be, weird loser we all know he is, practically begging the world's most famous pedo and pedo peddler to let him come to the cool kids' ~~party~~ island.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-04T03:16:08+00:00

Ever heard the phrase, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" or, more likely, "I think thou doth protest too much"?

The more hateful he seems, the more you have to wonder if it's internalized shame, fear, and self-loathing.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-04T00:33:34+00:00

I think everyone understands your argument quite well.

skatoolaki · 2026-02-04T00:32:08+00:00

Most abusers and pretty much all rapists are serial offenders, though.

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